


Temporary Ideal

by Drasna



Category: The Beach (2000)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mild Language, Romance, Trouble In Paradise, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 47,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drasna/pseuds/Drasna
Summary: Paradise is subjective - it's also a delicate and temporary ideal for each individual. When an island community of civilization expatriates gets a new member, how will he affect the fragile balance of order and rule? Can it survive new blood and all of the expectations that come with that injection of change?
Relationships: Richard (The Beach)/Original Female Character





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OFC insertion, plot divergent version of The Beach (2000) movie based on the original novel by Alex Garland, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. There are some dialogue pulls straight from the movie in the first chapter, but it's pretty much on its own trajectory after that.
> 
> This was originally started about two decades ago back in 2000 (as of this AO3 posting in May 2020). Picked the story back up in 2015 and finished it, posting it originally on Wattpad.

_The shade from the palm made the dampness of the air around me more palpable. I could feel the condensation on my arms, face and lips. I shivered in the early dawn, waiting for him. Waiting and thinking. This spot, near Bugs’ bridge, was the unofficial entrance to the village. It was where I had laid eyes on him for the first time. I remembered it clearly, like it was yesterday. Recalling that moment, surrounded by the soft rays of a new day, it was hard to believe it had been six months since the “Three Musketeers” had backpacked into our community._

It happened right after Vera had thrown me the last of the bed sheets. I had taken the worn nub of the last remains of Unhygenix’s homemade soap, and rubbed it lazily against the sheet draped over the granite slab. I hated laundry duty. Even though Vera moaned and groaned when we had the garden shift, I would gladly trade in my pruned fingers for dirt strewn ones. There was the quiet that was only disrupted by the buzz of an insect or the occasional tears of dead leaves. The hope experienced planting seeds for the new crop. Picking the ripe fruit and sneaking a taste of one, delicious pear before the rest of the community. My innate green thumb surprised me. I wouldn’t have looked twice at a cornfield or row of tomato plants in my “other” life. Here, though, things were different.

“Oh… my… God!” Vera’s faux valley girl inflection had taken over for a moment. Alarmed, I froze, staring down at the water flowing past my bare thighs. The last time Vera had voiced that exclamation while doing the wash had been when she had a spotted eel wrapped around her calf. We never were sure if the eel was very friendly, very horny or very tired of intruders in that particular spot of the lagoon. She had grabbed that sucker and smashed it against a rock like a bullwhip. Poor thing never knew what hit him, or her, or it. I made a mental note never to sneak up on Vera after that.

“What?” My focus shifted to Vera’s line of sight, which hadn’t been the water. My mouth opened slightly, feeling the dryness that had suddenly appeared. I’m sure everyone in the community had the same feeling at that moment. There they were, walking over the bridge, entering our territory. Keaty led the way. His tour of duty by the waterfall had turned out to be the most eventful one in two years.

“Three.” Vera waded toward the bridge. My mind had quickly processed the total. My attention was all on the person following six steps behind Keaty. I could tell immediately that he was American. I’m not sure what gave him away first, but the quick nod of recognition he gave Vera solidified it.

_American_. Even though I felt fear and uncertainty at their presence, I still smiled. There was another one of us. _Four_ _now_. And there was another reason I was smiling. That flight of butterflies that had remained dormant in my stomach for what now seemed like an eternity, was performing aerials I couldn’t remember ever experiencing. It may have just boiled down to the fact that there was new meat. _Available_ _meat_. It was obvious, the solitary way he strode ahead of the other man and woman, that he was alone.

He was tan, lean and long. Everything about him screamed California boy, kissed by the sun from his golden-brown strands to the shine of his skin. He tightly gripped the end of what looked like a trash bag over his right shoulder, eyes darting this way and that, taking in the entirety of the environment. He passed over me as quickly as he had everyone else. I was too far away to make out the color of his eyes, but his stare was intense enough for me to feel he meant business. They hadn’t just stumbled across our paradise. This had been a quest. And I was pretty sure he was the one who had been in charge for most of it.

Vera looked over to me after they had passed. “Let’s hurry this shit up and get our asses back to the longhouse. I don’t want to miss Sal’s face when she sees this.” I nodded in agreement, and then shook my head at the thought of Sal’s expression. I hoped I would be able to get some prime seating.

We slipped in after the impromptu “family meeting” had already taken place.

Sophie stood in the darkened corner and motioned quickly to both of us as soon as we came in. We huddled together for catch up.

“They have a map.” Sophie nodded her head toward the middle of the longhouse, where the majority now congregated. Sal was in full mother-hen mode. I spotted the paper in her hand.

“To the beach?” Vera asked and Sophie nodded. My eyes canvassed the area. I saw the back of blonde boy. “Who are they?” Vera questioned again.

“The couple is French.” I looked over at Sophie in time to see a slight smile. It would be an addition to the already large French line. “Etienne and Francoise. The other one is Richard. An American.”

_Richard_. I let the name dance in my head a few times, unable to hide the vindication that my guess to his nationality had been correct. I didn’t need to hear any more from Sophie. I walked around the circle, just outside the radar of being noticed. Blending into the background had always been my best skill and too much was going on for anyone to pay attention to me anyway. They were all fixated on the visitors. I could spot rage on some faces, fear on others. But Sal would not let these new arrivals leave. I had known her long enough to realize that fact.

I sat on my bunk thankful Richard was on the exact opposite end. My legs crossed. I could hear the buzz of conversation around me. All of my senses besides sight had dulled, been drowned out, by the activity occupying me. Taking in every aspect of this man was now top priority. Boyishness graced his face, but the dominance of the man emerging was putting up a fierce battle with that appearance. In his 20s definitely, but as to which end of the scale he tipped closer to was still up in the air. The beauty and symmetry of his face elicited one word into my mind. _Perfect_. The shadows of late afternoon, however, didn’t allow a peek at his eye color. The somber, stuffy atmosphere of the hut matched the mood of its inhabitants.

My hearing tuned in at the sound of his voice, answering a question from Sal. I let the pitch and tone of his words flow inside. Even his words felt right to my ears. “It was on my hotel door one morning. I’d had this weird conversation with a guy staying next door to me the night before. He kept talking about this beach. So when I found the map, I figured it was from him. The guy who drew it…”

“Daffy.” Sal finished his sentence for him. The name jarred memories and haunting images of the rift that formed right before Daffy had left the island. The friction between Daffy, Sal and Bugs had become unbearable. I wanted to ask about Daffy, but the question only screamed inside my mind. There would be no disruptions while class was in session, at least not from the well-behaved students.

“Yeah, he’s dead.” My mouth dropped open, hearing that cold, factual sentence from Richard. That sentence did not come from one who had spent countless nights listening to Daffy’s stories around the fire. Not one who had ventured back with him to the mainland at least a dozen times for rice runs. And not one who had seen the love for something pure turn into an obsession to protect it. I tried to let the realization of Daffy’s death sink in, but I knew it would take forever to finalize it. I saw the whispers and stunned expressions take over the group.

Someone, I think Dale, exclaimed, “No way!”

Richard continued. “Yeah, he cut his wrists open in a hotel room on the Ko Sahn Road.”

Gregorio stared in horror at Richard. “You have seen this?”

“Well, I came afterwards.” There was no easy way to break this kind of news to a family. It was like a police officer knocking at a son’s door in the middle of the night to tell him his parents had been killed in a car accident. Empathy is a hard feeling to fake. You just don’t know until you have been there. I guessed Richard had yet to experience a close death. 

“Well, that’s sad news. He was one of the founders of our community.” I spotted Vera, still in the corner with Sophie, listening to Sal. I hoped she had sense enough to hold her tongue.

“Oh.” Richard nodded his head slightly.

“But he became depressed.” There had been a clearing of the throat, somewhere from the crowd, after Sal’s addition. My stomach tensed up. It was amazing how fast people forgot all the good. Most of the bad feelings toward Daffy were present because of Sal’s talks and speeches since he had left. How he had become a liability, an acceptable loss for the protection of our community. 

I saw Richard survey the reaction quickly. He had felt the bad blood and my eyes narrowed as I watched him try and feed off of it. “The police didn’t know what to do with the body so I guess they’re going to like incinerate him or something.” His smile and sudden laugh felt forced, out of place. He immediately realized his mistake, turning his head to the side to avoid the eyes of the community. He scratched the back of his head.

Sal took no note of it. I knew she was concerned with only one thing. “Do you think he gave a map to anybody else?”

Richard stared at her for a second, shaking his head in doubt. “Ah, no… I don’t think so.” I noticed relief on his face, thankful that the attention had been shifted from his foot-in-mouth display.

She looked at Etienne, Francoise and Richard, one by one. “And you, have you shown this map to anybody?”

They answered one after the other. “No.”

“Good.” She handed the open map to Richard. I felt another example coming on. She grabbed Bugs’ lighter and smiled, “We value our secrecy.” She lighted the map at the bottom as Richard held it. I heard the clapping begin. With that, our new members had been baptized.

After dinner, the nightly ritual of bedtime began for all in the longhouse. The newly arrived were given their sleep locations. I quietly prayed to whatever Thai god had whispered in Sal’s ear and placed him an easy glance across the floor from me. It was a beautiful change of scenery.

Keaty was filling him in on how things ran daily in the hut when Sonja stood up. I sighed. It was a language class tonight. She politely requested everyone’s attention and began her translation prompt.

“Listen up, everybody.” Her blonde bob shook a bit as she scanned the room. Linguistic learning was mainly someone reciting a line in English – which everyone on the island spoke – and expecting a translation in the teacher’s native tongue. In Sonja’s case, we’d be regurgitating the phrase in Croation. I always cursed Sal when it was time for this, as it had been her bright idea to begin this ages ago. I enjoyed poetry night so much more. I didn’t have to worry about getting called on to speak in front of the class.

“OK. Tomorrow I will travel for many miles on a bicycle.” She nodded her head towards the right of the hut. “Um, Vicki.”

Sitting just off to Richard’s side, Vick stopped in mid hit. I was curious if she had spoken to Richard much upon his arrival. She was a California girl. If my assumptions about where he was from were right, they might have a lot to talk about. She took just a second to contain her smoke before beginning. “Uh, sutra cu potovati mnogo milja bicicklom.”

I watched Richard listen intently before looking to Sonja to see how well Vicki had done. “Great, very good.” Sonja went on to her next victim. Though I should have been paying attention in case I was called, I was spending more time studying Richard.

After Helene, it was Keaty’s turn. In typical fashion, he stood up proudly. “All right. It’s far too easy, though.” With little effort, the words flowed freely out of his mouth. Cockily, he continued the rant. From what I could tell, his bicycle ride was going to be in the park after he ate a big breakfast. I shook my head, laughing at his pompous behavior as the rest of the group jeered. They eventually drowned him out. “There’s more, you know.” Before he sat down he took over Sonja’s duty and called out the next name. “Richard!”

There was an immediate hush. The newbie looked around and cleared his throat. To all listening, he choked out the words in a broken fashion; but, still surprisingly correct. Keaty yelled out in admiration, “Richard, you’re represented, man!” As was customary, the rest of the community applauded in sign language with their hands shaking while raised above their heads. I joined in on the compliment.

Richard grinned from ear to ear as he looked around the room. I felt that hiccup in my chest again as his eyes fell on me for a brief second. His eyes sparkled in the lantern lights. It was time to curse myself for being such a sucker for blue eyes.

Six months later, he was still only someone I studied from afar. There was the occasional friendly or duty-related chit-chat. But he had assimilated quickly, making a name for himself in the process. He still had a while to go, still only the second-string quarterback of the island. I, on the other hand, was hardly in the running for head cheerleader or homecoming queen. 

He had become chummy with Keaty. I had gotten most of my information on Richard through him. The one thing I didn’t need explained to me was the crush he had on Francoise, the French girl that had accompanied him on the journey. I wondered if Etienne’s ignorance to his friend’s feelings about his girlfriend was simply a show. The looks Richard gave Francoise were just a bit too long. I hoped my crush was not as obvious to everyone else.

“Beth!” Keaty strode up beside me on the way back from a day of tilling in the garden.

“What’s up?”

“Have a question for you, love.” I always grinned when he said that.

“Shoot.”

Always the gentleman, he took my shovel, and leaned it against his right shoulder as we walked.

“Triple A’s. In short supply. Got any I can borrow?”

“God, Keaty, what have you been doing with them lately?”

“Not me only, Richard’s been hogging my GameBoy as well. We’re thinking of starting our own group. VGAA.” I stared at him curiously. He smiled explaining, “Video Game Addicts Anonymous.” 

I laughed, shaking my head. “Well, I don’t know if I should be a facilitator then, supplying you with the means to continue this addiction.”

“Ah, but the first step on the road to recovery is admission, which I’ve already done. Can’t stop cold turkey, right?”

“I’ll have some for you after dinner.”

“Thanks, Beth. You are a life saver, have I told you that?”

I nodded.

“Well, you are. I’m not the only one that knows it, love.”

“Enough sucking up, I already said I would give them to you.”

“Right. How about trying a game of cricket with me tomorrow then?”

“That’s OK, I prefer watching.”

“I’ve noticed.” I slapped his arm after that comment.

“Don’t hit me over the truth.” We both laughed, approaching the clearing to the beach. I didn’t spot Richard until Keaty had called over to him. “Richard, my man, we are back in business!”

Richard turned upon hearing his name. He sat on the beach with Christo and his fishing spear in hand. He nodded, smiling. “What Keaty!?”

“Got our dealer right here!” He placed his free hand over my shoulder. “Kong competition tonight!” 

I felt myself blush with his attention on me. “Cool! Thanks Beth!” He waved over to the both of us.

I nodded and freed myself from Keaty’s grasp and grabbed the shovel back. “Gotta wash up, Keaty.”

I’d settled down in my bunk after a satisfying meal of rice and catfish, accompanied by an unexpected salad. I thought about the crop we would be working on the next day and couldn’t wait for the tomatoes to ripen. They’d be a great addition to Unhygenix’s menu. 

I searched in my satchel for the book of poetry by Thoreau.

“Beth?”

My eyes looked up to find Richard towering above me.

“Yeah?” I smiled despite myself.

He bent at the knees, lowering himself to my eye level. “Don’t mean to be a pain, but Keaty and I,” I stared into his blue eyes a bit longer than I should have.

“Oh!” I mentally slapped my forehead. “The batteries.” He smiled, nodding. “Sorry, I forgot all about it.”

“No problem, just didn’t know how much longer Keaty and I could last before we experience withdrawal symptoms.” He chuckled, leaning his forearms against his knees.

I laughed, reaching over to my cigar box, my little treasure chest. “What are some of the symptoms?” 

I turned back to see him hunched over, eyes wide, with his thumbs rapidly pressing invisible buttons. “Nothing too severe.” He started twitching his head. He continued the act. “Jump… Right… Punch”. I waved four batteries in front of his face, grinning. He relaxed immediately, opening a palm for the alkaline gems to drop inside of. “Whew, thanks.” He winked, and then smiled, as his hand clutched them tightly. “Could have gotten ugly.”

“Glad I could fix you up.”

“I owe you.”

I smiled, thinking of a few ways he could pay me back. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Night.”

“Good Night, Richard.”

I watched him stand up and turn, ready to make his way over to Keaty’s corner. I was about to resume the search for my book when I saw him turn back out of the corner of my eye. “Beth?”

“Uh-huh?”

“I was wondering… well,” he knelt down once again, “if you could help me with something?”

I nodded.

He looked around, I guessed to make sure no one was paying close attention. I noticed him lingering his gaze in Sal’s direction before continuing, slightly above a whisper this time. “It’s about Daffy.” 

It had been months since I had heard anyone utter his name. “Daffy?”

He nodded. “It’s just that… ever since we came here, I’ve had a lot of questions about him. I mean he’s the reason we’re here. But, no one talks about him. I’ve asked Sal once, and Keaty a few times, but they just clam up or change the subject. The only thing I got out of Keaty was that you were close to him.”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Could you tell me something about him then? Tomorrow maybe?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll meet up with you after fishing duty.”

“OK.” I smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Good night. Again.” He smiled, walked off. I lay back, placing my hand under my pillow. That’s where Thoreau turned out to be hiding. I pulled the worn book out, inspecting it. Thoughts of curling up with a few of his verses were now long gone. I had someone else to dream about.

After garden detail, I decided to head down to the waterfall. Not before Keaty caught me sneaking away, though.

“Aren’t even going to watch today?” He frowned playfully with his cricket bat already draped over his shoulder. He so loved his cricket and wanted everyone on the island to feel the same. One of the things he missed most about the mainland.

“I will.” I tried to appease him. “But I need to clean up and the showers just won’t cut it today.”

“Alright. Not long though or I’ll be back to check on ya. Got it?”

I saluted him before prancing off through the bush. The walk to the waterfall, even at a brisk pace, still took a good half an hour. Even in paradise, laziness won out over cleanliness for the majority. It was one of the main reasons Bugs had come up with the shower system for the beach community. Another reason was that leisurely baths in the lagoon were suspect to interruptions by a few nasty party crashers of the animal variety. The mechanics of the showers and how he actually managed to get them to function, though not always well, boggled my mind. Bamboo was certainly an all-purpose plant. 

For me though, nothing beat a drench under those falls. Once a week, I’d find my way back there. The faint sound of the falls dumping into the basin could be heard five minutes away. It would always make my steps faster. 

The midnight blue of water, bouncing off rays of sunlight like a mirror, enticed me into the pool easily. I remembered the first time Daffy had brought me back to this spot after we had jumped it together. As long as we approached it with caution, he had stated, we’d find the best spot under the falls for an exhilarating shower with the least risk of a concussion. I heeded his advice every time since.

My trips since his permanent departure had now become solitary ones. I felt a pounding in my heart and a stinging sadness again as I dived underwater. There was no chance of him popping up along the edge to say hi ever again. At least, my head rationalized, the loss of him was getting easier to deal with in my daily life.

My eyes spotted the shadow of a figure under a tree about ten minutes into my shower. I dove back under the water quickly, cursing myself for only leaving my t-shirt on. I swam closer to the edge ready to give Keaty hell for sneaking up on me.

“Keaty, I told you I wouldn’t be long! I don’t need a babysitter for Christ’s sake!” I knew taking the Lord’s name in vain would piss him off. I waded even closer to the rocks, looking around. There was no one under the tree now. I started to believe my mind had gotten the better of me thinking of Daffy. My shorts beckoned to me, fifteen feet away on dry land. I didn’t want to give anyone a free show just yet, so I waited.

“Keaty?” I was up to my waist in the water. I slicked my hair back. “Keaty?” I heard the rustle of leaves off to my right and my eyes widened. Fear started to overcome my anger at being disturbed. “Look, this isn’t funny. I know someone’s there.”

“Is this where you go?” My heart pounded even harder at the sound of his voice. He stepped out from behind a trunk. “I’m sorry Beth, didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled. His face was red. As red as I suspected mine was. “I was going to head back when I thought you saw me. But then I heard you call out. Didn’t want you to be scared and make you run back.”

“Thanks for showing yourself.” I tried to smile, realizing just how naked I was under the water. “Would you mind turning around?” I pointed over to my shorts and sandals.

“Sure.” He sat on a rock, with his back to me.

I skipped out quickly, grabbing my clothes and thrusting my legs through them, not even bothering with the towel I had brought. “How’d you find me? Keaty tell you where I was going?” I buttoned the shorts hastily, rummaging through my pocket for the ponytail holder. I tied my hair back as he responded.

“No. I was heading to the garden when I saw you walking off. I should have called out to you. Sorry.”

“Don’t have to keep apologizing.” I stood next to him, sandals in hand. “Do you spy on people often?”

He looked up at me, surprised. Quiet.

I nodded. “You can’t do that for very long around here before you start to get a reputation.”

“I don’t.”

I smiled. “Let’s walk and talk then.” Feeling strangely in charge of the conversation, I confidently strode ahead. 

“I thought maybe you forgot about our meeting today.” I heard his voice catch up to me.

I turned, looking up at him. “I didn’t forget. It must be very important for you to learn about him, coming all this way after me.”

He smiled. “Well…”

“What?”

“I was a little worried about you going off by yourself. And curious." I could spot a blush on his cheeks again. He grabbed at the leaves of a low branch we passed. "I’ve seen how you stay to yourself a lot. And a few times, when I’ve gone to meet Keaty after his work in the garden, I’ve seen you disappear in that same direction. I had the opportunity to find out where you were running to, so I took it. Unless, maybe, you were running away from something?”

“A bit of both.”

“I haven’t been back to the falls since the jump.”

“Most people don’t come back. They put it behind them.”

“Daffy didn’t though, did he?”

I stopped in mid-step. He did the same a beat later, looking back at me. I spoke first. “What makes you think that?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Just a feeling.”

“Daffy wasn’t Mr. Popular, mainly because he acknowledged the truth of our situation.”

“About the beach.” I nodded to his statement and started walking again. I eyed him as he asked, “How’d you make your way here?”

His eyes narrowed as he waited for me to begin. I sighed wishing that was one thing he hadn't asked. “After a few drinks in a bar with Daffy. I was on my own. Well, it’s more like I was left on my own. My boyfriend…” I looked for a reaction on his face, but couldn’t spot an obvious one. I rattled off the practiced, condensed version of my backstory, the one Daffy and I had concocted. “My boyfriend and I were backpacking straight after college. We’d gone from Europe, Australia and finally Asia. And then one day I caught him fucking some Thai maid." His eyebrows lifted in mild surprise. "Paradise was a welcome change after that.”

“You just went with Daffy?” He looked at me amazed.

“The Daffy I met four years ago wasn’t the same one you met in that hotel. He was funny and had the best way of making you feel comfortable, letting your guard down. And the stories he told me. He was the ultimate cult leader.” He laughed in disbelief before I added, “He got you to believe, didn’t he?” I saw his eyes fill with doubt. “Even as he was contemplating his own death, he still managed to lure you into his world.”

“Do you think he chose me?”

“To give the map to?”

He nodded.

“Daffy didn’t do anything without a plan. I think he liked you.”

“He just kept talking about people like cancers and parasites. If he didn’t want anyone else to come, why’d he give it to me?”

“Wish he was here to answer that one for you.”

“Do you feel the same way about the beach?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes I think about leaving.”

“What stops you?”

“What might be waiting for me back there.”

He walked slower. I realized he was trying to prolong our trip back to the beach. "Wow." He stopped and bit his bottom lip, looking up at the huge trees that loomed above us. I stopped as well, mainly to look at him. "Four years?" He stared down at me again.

"Yeah. It's been so long, you forget about a lot that happened before the island."

"Is that good?"

"I don't think you should ever forget your past. It's what makes you what you are. Unfortunately, the crappy stuff is harder to shake." I looked about hesitantly, realizing the time and not wanting to say much more. "We should get back. They'll start to worry."

"Will they?"

I laughed. "Well, at least about you."

He frowned. "Why do you feel so alone in all of this?"

His accurate impression of me was beginning to be a bit disconcerting. "Too many questions, Richard. I believe you've filled your quota for the day."

He held up a finger. "Just one more. A real simple one."

"OK."

"Where are you from?"

"Massachusetts."

He smiled. "Cool." 

“How about you?”

“California, near Long Beach.”

“Cool.” He noted the bit of mocking in my voice and laughed. Vindicated that my assumptions had been correct, I started us back on our journey to the others.

Vera had been mumbling to me about the bad weather that was soon to come.

"It's inevitable, V." I drank the last of my juice and grabbed my plate preparing for the walk to the mess tent.

"Bugs is already talking about precautions for the long house."

"Joy." I walked out, excusing myself to Sven as I fumbled past him.

The air was damp. Yes, rain was coming. You could smell it. The only question was how long. We were due for some typhoon-like weather. I placed my dish in a heap with the others. The clanging of cups and plates into the basin reminded me my shift to do the dishes was less than a week away. Sophie was already hard at work, scrubbing by candlelight. Had to get them done the same night, that was one of Sal's chore requirements.

I motioned to Vera. "Want to join the bunch?" The usual group had made their way to the campfire.

She shook her head. "I'm beat. Going to head back and get some early shut eye."

"K." I smiled. "Night."

She yawned before mumbling, "Night."

Willy was playing his guitar. I heard the soft strums wade out to me as I walked closer. Bugs and Dosh were nursing poor Gregorio just outside the light of the fire. They'd pulled out one of his rotten teeth right before dinner. Some of Unhygenix's potent juice and a few joints had left him giddy and exhausted. I walked by, remembering how he'd screamed in fear before they had performed the extraction. He'd wanted to go to the mainland but Sal would not hear of it. She had lain out in her Buddha position when she commanded it, "Out of the question."

I mentally talked myself out of joining the group as I approached and realized they were up to nothing more than a poker game. Keaty and Etienne were wagering against each other in front of the flames. There was no point in betting the precious money I had left for supplies.

I approached the path to the beach.

"Hey, Beth." I hadn't even seen Richard sitting there, arms folded and legs outstretched.

"Hi." I smiled, letting my heart slowdown from the surprise of his greeting. I noticed a mound of sand between his legs. "Playing in the sand box?"

He laughed. "Just a little."

"Enjoy." I waved and continued my walk. I had a feeling that proving to be a bit out of reach might just be the enticement needed. I wanted to encourage an interest in me where this man was concerned. Patience was a virtue after all.

I sat by the cliffs, leaning my side against the rough rocks, taking in the moonlight. The thought of bad weather could be deemed impossible while looking at the beauty of such a night. Cobalt blue shaded every ounce of the scenery before me – the sand, the water, the rock faces that concealed the beauty of this beach to those that passed by the island daily. The sky was a midnight blue of vastness, dotted with millions of stars. I smoked the joint Keaty had slipped me before dinner and took every bit of the view in along with each hit. 

The languid waves would come up to my toes, teasing me with the cold water. It sent a shiver through me each time it washed up. They were very calm that night, almost creeping up on me in a whisper, so I forgave the intrusion. I was also much too comfortable to move. I laid back and stared up at the night sky. There was a full moon with just the strands of a few clouds moving by it at a lazy pace. I stared harder and watched one cloud clip the bottom of the moon as it passed, taking minutes to do so. My eyes closed. I was ready to fall asleep under the stars.

They snapped open a few moments later, aware of the presence of someone. I turned my head and saw two figures walking the length of the beach toward me. I cursed, sitting up and putting out the joint with two wet fingers. If it was Sven and one of his latest conquests, he would inevitably hit me up for a hit as he got all poetically romantic in an effort to impress. I remembered being stuck in that situation months ago when Daffy was still around. He had been the one to save me then; but, no one would be looking for me tonight. I carefully placed the half used joint in my pocket, intent on saving it for another day instead of sharing. My plan was to make a quick run towards and past the couple, wishing them a good night. My body became still when I realized it was Francoise and Richard.

What they were doing alone on the beach was not too hard to figure out. But, whether they knew I was there was another question. I had an innate ability to camouflage. I guessed my small frame was easily inconspicuous against the cliff rocks. I was now not interested in showing myself any longer or making a mad dash back to the longhouse. I heard more of their conversation as they stepped closer.

"Do you think that I ignore you?" Francoise appeared to be giving Richard the third degree.

He shrugged his shoulders. "No." He was completely enraptured by her. It was so obvious by the timber and hesitation in his voice. My face tightened, looking helplessly for a way out. Any movement at this point would get their attention.

"But I do. It's because I'm with Etienne. It's difficult for me to spend time with you." I saw him physically taken aback by her statement. It had frozen him in place for a few seconds as she strode ahead. There was a sense of duty building in me, not wanting to see his hopes fulfilled. My mind thought of the gossip, the rift between Richard and Etienne; all that could occur with just a few more words spoken. 

They were merely a few yards away from me now, unaware of anything but the two of them as Francoise stared at the sand as she walked and Richard gawked at her. Instinct took over as the opportunity presented itself. I began to climb the rocks that formed the small cliff jetting into the water. My heart was beating fast, the pulse a constant background noise. I looked over my shoulder, kneeling, preparing for the dive. When he caught up with her, she stopped.

He continued the conversation. "I don't suppose that there's any... you know any special reason that you should... spend time with me, that is?" My head turned back, facing the water below. I knew I should jump. It would be too late if I hesitated any longer.

"Of course there is... I like you... a lot."

"Have you told this to Etienne or…?" I closed my eyes, knowing he was smiling.

"No. It's our secret."

I waited for his voice. "OK."

I jumped.

Vera spotted me first as I entered the longhouse. “God, Beth!”

I smiled guiltily, throwing up a damp arm. “Don’t ask.” I checked the occupants. Thankful there were only a handful of women I ran to my bunk and fished a dry shirt and shorts out of my bag. Peeling out of them as fast as I could, I shivered at the breeze floating in through the open door.

“You OK?”

I nodded. “The water was so beautiful, I had to jump in.”

She frowned. “You?”

“What? Is it that hard to believe?”

She only shook her head.

I sat down after my quick change, waiting for them to return. To my relief it wasn’t long before they did. Richard had walked in first, looking immediately over in my direction. He smiled, laughing. I shrugged my shoulders. Whether they had bought my accidental falling in was uncertain. But, I had done my job. Etienne strolled in a few minutes later with Francoise under his arm. Richard was already comfortably laid out, eyes closed when they reached their bunk.

I went to sleep certain that wherever Daffy was he was smiling.

“We have a problem.” I stopped in my tracks as I passed the doorway to the shed. I dropped the dishes into the basin and rubbed my hands together before turning to look back at Sal. She stood stoically in the middle of the opening.

“What problem might that be, Sal?” I pushed a lock of hair out of my face with the back of a dirty hand. I hoped I would not have to listen to a critiquing of proper dishwashing.

“The rice.”

Those two words caused my stomach to flip. “Oh, not again?”

“Yes.”

“I guess that means another run, doesn’t it?” I shook my head.

“Yes. And much sooner than I had planned.”

“Too bad Daffy isn’t here to do that for ya.” I turned back around to continue with my chore. Though the comment was meant to bite her, I knew it wouldn’t. Morning dishes were a bitch.

“Actually,” Her English accent scraped against the word in a high pitch, “I was hoping I could get you to go this time.” I whipped my face around to eye her incredulously. She had already begun her reasoning. “You’ve gone so often with Daffy. He was a great teacher. And there’s so much for me to attend to on the island. The wet season is upon us. You do realize that? I need to be here.”

I shrugged. “Why not Bugs?”

“Our only carpenter away from the island? Now? Not a good idea.” She shook her head.

“Sal,” My mouth was open, trying to get the words out, “I can’t go on my own.”

“Of course not. We’ll talk to the community about it before lunch.” She smiled, placing her sunglasses on and walked off. She left me in shock, standing there amid a pile of dirty dishes. Confirmed. Morning dishes were a bitch.

I leaned against the palm as she spoke. The crowd was nervous, agitated. I knew they feared what was to come next: who would be picked to accompany Sal on the Rice Run to the mainland.

“So,” Sal motioned over to me, “Beth has agreed to head to the mainland to get supplies.” The group changed tone immediately, giving me a few hoots and hollers. I smiled despite my current attitude. How very great for all of them, the scapegoat had already been picked. Sal certainly knew how to twist things. I waited for the rest of her speech once they quieted down. “But, I won’t be able to go this time, so we’ll need a volunteer to go with her.” Dead silence and bowed heads followed, occupying themselves with nothing in particular. I shook my head slightly, amused at the elementary school behavior. Her annoyance was clear. “So, don’t all volunteer at once.” I looked off to the beach and the cliffs, dreading what I would have to experience tomorrow morning. The thought of having to babysit someone with little knowledge of what was in store on the trip just made it worse. My thoughts were broken by Sal’s voice. “Yes, Richard, what is it?”

My eyes went directly to him, sitting beside Keaty near the hammock. His hand was up, waiting to be called on. It went down just as quickly as he made quick eye contact with the group before staring at me. He nodded confidently. “I’ll go.” My eyes opened wide in shock as he smiled back at me.

“Well, Richard, I was thinking of someone who’s been on one before.” Sal was obviously taken back by the gesture as much as the rest of the group.

“Can’t be any harder than getting here.” 

Keaty laughed, knocking his arm. “Definitely a strange one, Rich.”

“Alright. Let’s put it to a vote, then. Who thinks Richard should go?” Without hesitation, every hand went up in agreement. Richard smiled broadly as Keaty gave him a pat on the back. Conversations grew louder and I heard praise bestowed on Richard in waves.

“It’s settled then.” Sal clapped her hands together, ready for dismissal.

“Well, not quite Sal.” Richard pursed his mouth together briefly before nodding over to me. “Beth hasn’t agreed yet.” He smiled, putting me in the spotlight again. Something I felt he knew I hated. He grinned like a little boy.

She turned to me for the first time. “Beth?”

I nodded. “It’s fine.”

“Wonderful. Let’s all head to lunch.” The group broke up, disappearing into the longhouse. I saw V shaking her head at me. There would be a bitch session this afternoon by her. The many evils Sal liked to dish out being the main topic. I sighed, thoughts already reeling, realizing I would have two days alone with him. The trip was not looking as awful as originally thought.

I smiled as I passed him.

“So?” He stood up. “When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow morning, bright and early.”

He nodded. “Cool.” My mouth opened, ready to speak, but then shut. He laughed. “What?”

I shook my head. “Why’d you volunteer? I mean… I think you could tell this is not the best assignment by everyone’s reaction.”

“I like a little adventure.” He strode ahead before stopping at the doorway. He lifted up the GameBoy he had been playing, smiling. “Besides, I owe ya.”

It was the morning of the rice run. I thought back to when Richard first arrived at the beach. I rubbed my upper arms with my palms, trying to generate some heat. I was outfitted for the venture and, disgruntled, wore a modest bathing suit. They were a necessity when travelling to the mainland. Daffy had taught me well. I plunged my hands in my short pockets as I shivered. I heard the creak of bridge planks and knew my travel mate had finally awoken. Turning, I smiled at him. “About time.”

He yawned, shaking his head. “Sorry.” His eyes blinked and I stared, wondering why he had the pack over his shoulder.

“Richard, I told you last night you wouldn’t need anything. Stuff we need is on the boat. And, as for the cash,” I tapped the waterproof bag tied securely around my waist, “it’s taken care of.”

“Well, I thought…”

I started to walk. “Won’t be able to swim with the pack.” His eyes widened in confusion as I pulled it off his shoulder. “We’ll leave it in the longhouse.”

“We swam with a pack when we got here.”

“I know, but we aren’t going that way.” I pointed to the beach. “We’re going this way.”

“Why are we meeting here, then?”

I shrugged, taking steps back over the bridge he just crossed. “This is where I use to meet Daffy before a trip.” I waved the pack temptingly in front of me. “Are you coming? Time’s a wastin’.”

He shook his head, smiling. “Aye, Aye, Captain.”

“So, where’s the boat?” After depositing his pack at the house, we ended up on the beach. I looked out towards the cliffs, sighing, wishing there was another way. But there was no point in wishing.

Her ability to weasel out of the hard work annoyed me to no end. “Fuckin’ Sal.”

“The boat is out fucking Sal?”

I smiled despite the seriousness of the situation and glanced at him. “Keaty’s right. You are a strange one.”

“Aw, come on. Gotta admit that was a good one.”

I made a seesaw motion with my hand before answering his original question. “The boat is past those cliffs.” Not bothering to wait for his comment, I dived in and began our journey. It only took a few minutes. I stopped and paddled when I felt the drop in the water temperature. The cliffs loomed before us at least five stories high.

“Which way? Up?” Richard waded beside me looking more confused.

“Under.”

The look of terror in his eye was unmistakable. “You’re shitting me?”

I shook my head feeling my teeth already begin to chatter. “Still think you owe me?”

He ignored my question. “How far?”

“It’s about a minute. First time’s always the roughest.”

“Great.” His teeth began clicking together.

“Don’t hyperventilate under there or it’s all over. One big breath, dive in, keep your eyes open, and don’t stop swimming. When you see a bright light, head for the surface.”

“That’s the open sea?”

“No, that’s when your head is about to explode. But, it’s usually the same thing.” My lighthearted attempt had the opposite effect on him.

“This is crazy.”

“No, this is Daffy. You ready? Just follow me, OK?”

He nodded hesitantly, staring at me.

“You can do this, Richard.” I felt myself channel Daffy for a moment as I encouraged him. I took a deep breath and dove under the water. There was no time to look back and check for him. If he hesitated, I would be going it alone.

My body felt the weird underwater echo as I swam, getting colder and colder the further I went. Daffy had told me that just when you think your body will freeze solid, you’ll begin to thaw. That was the halfway marker. Relieved, I realized I had reached it.

This was what death was like, a bad death anyway. I was sure of it. A bad death was dark, and wet, and treading through an abyss. Every time I took this journey I felt like some part of me was getting the chance to start anew. It was another new adventure, a new life. I never knew how much I cherished my existence until I was on the verge of losing it. But, I was saved once again as the light shafted into the water a few meters ahead of me. I swam into the light, letting it embrace me before I rose up.

I gasped for air thankfully and started the countdown. If he was not up in ten seconds…

A scream and gulp emerged beside me. I smiled. “Congratulations.” He coughed up water and wheezed mercilessly. I winced, remembering how terrible my first time had been. I had ended up vomiting the papaya I ate that morning for breakfast. That was when I learned never to eat right before the swim. I waded for a minute, letting him calm down. My eyes adjusted to the cavern light. Wave shadows danced along the rock walls. The opening of the cave was 50 meters away, disguised as a pulse of blinding white light. The boat rocked steadily along the opposite side of the cavern. “When you’re ready, boat’s right there.” I nodded with my head and swam over to it.

He choked out the question through his labored breathing. “How many times have you done this?”

I pulled myself out of the water with locked arms, careful not to scrape my knees on the craggy surface as I had done the first few times. “Lost count.”

“Jesus.” I heard him tread water behind me. 

After standing up, and shaking off some of the water I fixed my ponytail. “You get used to it, doesn’t mean you like it.”

“Why do you keep doing it then?” He looked up at me, still neck deep in the water as he reached the surface.

I shrugged. “Somebody’s got to. And, I guess it was because if I had to choose, I felt safer around Daffy.”

He laughed. “And Keaty calls me the strange one.”

I smiled. “Are you going to keep asking questions or help me with this boat?”

The boat ride took just under an hour. It was ironic that even though the community felt cut off with the rest of civilization, we were still only a short boat ride away from it all. Richard didn’t talk much for most of the trip. He seemed to be taking in the details. I could sense the change in him as we neared the shore. He was unsure and looked dazed. After all, it had been six months since he’d left the real world.

Once we were on dry land again, I took a few minutes to gain my bearings as Richard tied up the boat.

“What now?”

“We find our currency converter.”

“What do you mean, you don’t have bahts?”

“Well, let’s just say I have some green in this bag, but not the dollar kind.”

It took him a few seconds to catch my drift. His eyes widened and then he nodded, smiling again.

Sumet was more than accommodating when I reached her “fine establishment” as Daffy and I had jokingly called it. She had sorely missed our supply of marijuana, calling it some of the finest she had used. With the money in my pocket I inquired about getting two rooms for the night. Richard leaned on the counter, watching the exchange.

Sumet shook her head. “No two. Busy this time of year. Only one.”

I looked over to Richard. “We can check out a few other places while we shop. They might have another room available somewhere. Don’t have to stay at the same hotel.”

Richard stated matter-of-factly. “We could just share this one. It would be like the longhouse, only smaller.” He smiled.

“There’s only one bed.”

“I’ll sleep on the floor. I don’t think you should be by yourself, anyway.” He looked over at Sumet. “The one room is fine, we’ll take it.” My mouth shut, not all too surprised at the take-charge attitude he was displaying. “Let’s go shopping.” He stood up tall, banging his palms against the counter. Sumet pushed the clipboard in front of me. “I’ll wait for you outside.” I nodded, watching him walk towards the entrance.

“Nice.” I turned back to Sumet after I heard her comment. She cocked her chin in Richard’s direction and smiled. I laughed and shook my head as I paid for the room. Once she handed me the key I readied myself for the supply run.

We returned, four hours later, with hands full of bags. Sumet had procured two 50 lb. bags of rice for us while we were gone and had them brought to the room. We decided to take those to the boat the following morning.

Richard dropped the bags onto the bed before falling back on it. “Shit. I’ve never done that much shopping in my life.”

I grinned and carefully deposited my share of the purchases in the corner of the room. “I’ll double check the list tomorrow morning in case we missed something.” I went over to him and picked up the rest of the bags on the bed. “Only four o’clock. Did you feel like doing anything?”

“Actually,” he turned and looked at me, “I’ve been dying for a beer.”

“Genix’s ‘Coconut Surprise’ doesn’t do the trick for you?” I plopped the remainder of the bags with the rest.

“Nah. Fermented coconut milk just doesn’t do it for me.”

“We could head to the bar downstairs. I’m pretty hungry.”

“Cool. And, after that I’m going to take me a real shower.”

“Yeah, can’t leave without one of those. How about I go take a quick one and I’ll meet you downstairs in a half-hour. You can get a head start on the beer.”

He nodded. “See you in thirty.”

I wondered how obvious it was that I was trying to impress him. I had found a skirt and tank top in one of the discount bins I’d rummaged through earlier that day. Both were a beautiful emerald green color, with flowers embroidered down the left side of each one. I played with the tip of my hair, looking around the bar for him. My eyes widened when I saw him in a conversation with two other guys by the counter. His back to me, I strolled over silently and sat two stools away from him. I wanted him to notice me first.

“No, Sam… seriously, it was just a goof, the map I left you.” His voice was quick and defensive. I felt my eyes narrow when he mentioned the map. I hoped it wasn’t what I suspected.

“Come on, man… you wouldn’t do that to a couple of buds? Draw a fake map to paradise after we helped you out?” I cringed at the words that came out of the blonde with the frizzed hairdo. “That’s not cool, man.”

“Just don’t want to share the wealth, Richard?” The other dark-haired one looked cocky. “Once we get us some more cash, we’ll be following this baby to those pure white sands.” He pulled out a paper.

“You guys are just wasting your time.” Richard grabbed his beer off the counter. “I thought you guys would get a laugh out of it. Shit. How fucking gullible are you two?”

“Then where you been all this time? Up and disappear? Sure as hell looks like wherever you been, you been living the good life.” Blondie extended his arms out in Richard’s direction as if he was all the proof they needed. 

I stood up. It was time to intervene and, eerily, the acting abilities I hadn’t had to use in years came back to me quickly. My hand touched Richard’s shoulder and he jerked his head in surprise. I smiled at him. “Hi, baby. Who are your friends?”

Richard’s mouth opened but nothing came out. I ran my hand around his neck, holding my other one out to the dark-haired guy gripping what I suspected was the map. “Nice to meet you.”

He looked me up and down before smiling. “Zeph.” He shook my hand with his free one.

“Cool.” I smiled, hoping I hadn’t forgotten how to keep a guy’s attention.

“Sammy.” Mr. Frizz shook my hand immediately after Zeph let go. “Are you Francoise?”

I felt Richard’s pulse beating wildly under my fingers. I squeezed his neck slightly on instinct. “No. Beth.”

“I met Beth that morning after I got locked out.” He smiled at me hopefully.

I nodded. “He must have lost our room keys six times since we’ve been travelling.” His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me close. I took the beer from his hand and took a sip. “So, what are you guys up to?”

Zeph licked his lips before answering. “Going on a little expedition.” He waved the paper in the air.

My eyes arched up in interest. “Expedition? What kind?” Zeph was enjoying the attention. He seemed to relax somewhat and sat down on the stool across from Richard. I noticed Sammy grab the stool behind him.

“This stupid map I drew, babe. I was fucking around. Now they’re actually going to try and find the damn thing.” Richard shook his head, feigning incredulity.

“Can I see?” I squeezed myself between the two of them, making sure I got nice and close to Zeph. I bit my lip. He smiled and handed it over willingly to me. I called over to the bartender and ordered a pitcher of beer for all of us while I began to peruse the map. It was the genuine article. Anyone who followed the advice on the flimsy parchment would no doubt find the way to the community. “Very cool. How come you never told me about this, baby?” I turned my head to Richard after smoothing the map out on the counter. My eyes bore into his, wanting to slap him. I never took him to be that stupid.

“Because it was stupid. Shit, not you, too?” He shook his head. The act was good, even better than mine. “It was a joke, Beth. We were talking about this legend that’s been going around about a beach. So, I left them a map.”

I thanked the bartender when he deposited the pitcher and glasses in front of us. “I say we should drink to this beach.” I grabbed a glass and hoped to God that Zeph was not the violent type. Lifting the pitcher, I intentionally lost my grip. Down it went on the counter. The beer spilled over the map. When the pitcher hit the counter it broke in two, and a jagged edge of glass cut into my palm. My eyes took everything in before the pain hit. I had enough sense, or foolishness, to grab onto the map and cover it with my blood as well.

“Shit! Beth!” Richard grabbed me by my forearms and spun me towards him. He looked down at my hand. “Let me see!”

“I’m OK.” I smiled, dazed.

He shook his head. I saw him try and calm down. “Open your hand, Beth.”

I looked down at my hand. The wad of paper was covered in shades of red and pink. “Oh, Zeph… I’m sorry.” I turned to him. He stared in shock and disbelief. Once his eyes made their way down to the map, he fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

Richard had been silently working on my cut for five minutes. We were in our room quietly processing the events that had occurred down at the bar. It had taken Sam a minute to wake Zeph up after he had fainted. Richard had wrapped one of the bartender’s towels around my hand in the interim until Sam said that he would be fine getting Zeph back to their hotel.

Richard got some first aid supplies from Sumet, who told me not to worry about the pitcher, when she dropped the kit off at our room. There hadn’t been another word between us since she left.

He put the last piece of tape around the gauze. I had been staring at his face, noting the serious and scared expression on it while he bandaged me. He finally spoke. “Do you need to go to the hospital?” His eyes met mine and I saw the guilt.

I shook my head. “It’s not that deep. Just a lot of blood for show.”

“If I see any more blood through that bandage, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“It will be fine.” The thought of a hospital scared me more than bleeding to death.

He sat down on the floor in front of me. “I’m sorry.”

“It was an accident.”

“Just like you calling me baby tonight was an accident?” He looked up at me as he questioned my choice of phrases earlier. The comment seemed so out of place with the thread of conversation. Confused and upset that he was trying to change the subject, I ignored it and waited for him to continue. He shook his head before resuming the explanation. “I know it was a mistake to draw it. I wasn’t thinking right.”

I stood up from the chair and walked to the bed. “They won’t be coming now.”

“You don’t know that.”

I felt the dull pain throb under the bandage. “They don’t look smart enough to have made a copy.”

His profile smiled as he stared at the floor. “I owe you again, Beth.”

“Yep.” Grunting I reached for my bag with the good hand. “So, why don’t you do me a favor and light one for me.” I threw the bag at him. He looked up just in time to catch it before it hit his face. “I won’t be able to with this thing in its current encased state.” I raised my mummified hand.

“Sure.” I leaned back and watched him unzip the small pack. He pulled out the worn plastic bag containing my private stash. “I don’t see you smoke these that often.”

“I only use it when I can’t sleep or when I’m in pain. Medicinal benefits, you know.” He smiled with a lopsided grin. I felt my stomach flip. The short-lived excitement was replaced with the ache from my hand. “Shit.”

He frowned and quickly opened the bag, pulling out the rolled rizla. “I’m sorry.” He fished out a lighter and then walked on his knees over to me before plopping down on the floor again.

“There are only so many times you can say that before it starts to get annoying.” I could feel the crankiness emerging from the discomfort.

Popping the joint in his mouth he lit it and took a long hit to start it for me. He held in the smoke while placing the joint in front of my own mouth. I should have grabbed it with my good hand; but, instead I let him hold it there. He blew out the smoke slow, deliberate. I saw his eyes soften as he held it for me. I opened my mouth. He smiled as I wrapped my lips around the cigarette and felt his fingers press against my flesh. I inhaled. He waited until I was done and took another hit for him. This went on for five minutes in silence again, watching each other. He finally spoke. “Better?”

I nodded. The haze had started. The pain came in waves now and not as severe. I’d be asleep soon. “Thanks.”

“You know,” his eyes looked heavy. “You looked really good tonight. I meant to tell you.”

“I better have. I meant to.”

He laughed. “Well, you did.” He stared in fixation at the joint. “You know, the last time I got stoned on the mainland in a hotel like this was when I met Daffy.”

I leaned back on my elbows, the mattress sagging under my weight. “Fitting tribute this is then.” I turned, letting my weight fall on my good hand, and crawled to a pillow.

“I guess.” I heard him talk and there was some shuffling behind me. For some reason I was not the least bit surprised as I felt more creaks from the mattress from an additional body.

“Time to sleep.” I collapsed on my back, laying the bandaged hand on my stomach. My eyes closed. I started to drift, but not before I heard his voice above me. My senses dulled and faded. “What?” I opened my eyes groggily, the lids weighing a ton, as I asked him to repeat himself.

He was smiling over me. “Good night.”

“Night, Richard.” I felt the softest pair of lips brush against my own before I passed out.

I woke up in pitch black. My heart began to beat faster. 

This wasn’t the beach. 

It took only a few seconds, those seconds before one is fully awake and the remnants of a previous thought cloud the present. I pulled the sheet off of my head and stared out into the corner of the room. Forms began to emerge in the darkness as my eyes adjusted. I recognized Sumet's signature hotel "style", made of musty smelling parchment and plaster, and saw Daffy's hunched frame. He was sitting in the lawn chair, a halo of smoke above him. A long drag was taken from the cigarette. He held the smoke and released slowly, before his lips moved, outlined by the static light of the television. I blinked once, then twice, before asking him what he said.

"...any better?" The lack of the Scottish accent brought me back fully. Blinking again, it was now Richard in front of me, staring intently as he motioned to my hand. Just the mention of it seemed to bring the pain back.

"Not really." I propped up on my elbow, gingerly lifting my hand up in the process. It was the searing stab that caused the deep inhale between my clenched teeth.

"Shit." In an instant he was kneeling in front of me by the side of the bed. "Should have taken you to the hospital, whether or not you wanted to."

"You still don't get it." I shook my head. "My needs, your needs, any of us..." Daffy popped into my head again. "None of our needs outweigh the needs of the community. Infection is not an option."

"Infection? You took the pills Sumet gave you, didn't you?"

I laughed, wanting to make a comment about his beautiful blond locks in relation to his IQ; but, I held my tongue at the jab. I had more serious causes for voicing my discontent with him.

"Richard, there's a reason I made the rice runs more often than anyone else did with Daffy. He and I had built a resistance to the pollution and temptations that come with traveling to the mainland. Daffy trusted me enough to respect the secrecy of the island, knowing I would protect it from infection." I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge, clipping his knees in the process. He hopped back a bit, before sitting on the floor. I leaned in, resting my hurt hand between my knees, scrutinizing his face in the shadows like it was the first time I had seen him. His eyes were wide as I held his attention. "What I can't figure out is what in the hell Daffy was thinking leaving you that map." Shaking my head again, "Maybe he wasn't thinking. Maybe he was acting like Mr. Richard here, giving a key to our home to a fucking bunch of greedy little rats."

"Beth..."

"The cute 'little boy lost' approach isn't going to work this time." I could tell those words stung a bit. "You know what Sal would do, right? She'd leave you here for the good of the island." I sighed as I sat straight up. His eyes squinted and jaw jutted out for a brief moment before his eyes left my gaze. He stared at the floor as he took reprimand. There was silence for a minute as I watched him and debated in my head as to what to do. The alcohol that I had downed to dull the pain had worn off hours ago. Everything felt raw and red. I briefly thought back to the night before. The time I had taken to dress up and look appealing for this pretty boy in front of me. All I wanted to do now was slap him senseless.

"Maybe Daffy saw something on the island that none of us did. Maybe we are already infected. Maybe he was searching for a cure. Maybe he thought you were the cure." He fidgeted a bit before I continued. "Or maybe he was just bat shit crazy."

He looked up at me, opened his mouth as if to say something and then stopped.

"So, what do we do, Richard?" I shrugged my shoulders. "I am open to suggestions here. Cause we are pretty much fucked. I'm not Sal… so I am not inclined to leave you here." Hope in his eyes emerged as they widened. "I've seen how the beach has brought out something in you. And, luckily, it's something good. But, if we go back and somehow those walking dildos do get to the island... it will be found out that you told them. And, in turn, it will be found out that I knew that you told them."

He nodded matter of factly. "You should leave me here. It's what's best."

"See, that's what I mean." I smiled as he looked dejected. "The Richard that came to the island six months ago never would have said that." I stood up, heading to the door and turned on the light switch. We both batted our eyelids from the fluorescent assault. I joined him on the floor, slowly crossing my legs and assisting myself into position with my good hand. There was silence again. Then, he slowly grabbed my arm at my elbow and inspected his handiwork with the bandage.

"Why did he trust you so much?" His eyes returned to hold my gaze.

"I don't know, really. Daffy was a strange bird." We both laughed at my pun. The lightness of the moment was definitely needed. It took a beat to realize he was holding my other hand now. My body pulsed at his touch as much as it had been pulsing by the pain. At once I both hated and loved that he could affect me like that.

"I would like to think that for the briefest of seconds, Daffy felt a trust in me that he felt in you." I watched his fingers stroke mine. "I would have liked to have known the man you knew. Maybe he was bat shit crazy by the time he met me. But, he did talk about a cure." Turning to look up at him, his face had inched closer to mine. "He mentioned a cure for the cure." Close enough to see that his eyes matched the blue of the lagoon on the most beautiful of days. "No matter what happens I want you to know that if I had even an inkling of what the beach really was, and what it meant to everyone, I never would have made that copy."

There was earnestness in his voice. It was new. I liked it.

"At the risk of getting slapped, I am sorry."

I nodded, smiling. "Are you sorry for kissing me?"

He laughed uncomfortably. "I guess I shouldn't have done that. I was just..."

"Just what?"

"Grateful." It was my turn to squint at him, confused. "For what you did. The map. Getting hurt to keep the island safe. To protect me, even though I am sure that wasn't your main intention." The lopsided grin returned. "And, you just looked like you needed a good night kiss."

"I was protecting myself just as much as the island." I thought about the conversation at the bar. "You had mentioned Francoise to those guys?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I had a bit of a crush on her."

"Still?"

His eyes trailed over my face, long enough for me to feel I was blushing. "No."

Reality and the pain jolted me back to the time and task at hand. "We need to get back to the island."

"We?"

I ran the thought through my head one more time before nodding. "We have to come up with a plan in case your buddies show up. But, we have some time to figure that out."

He jumped up and helped me to my feet, excited and eager. "What about your hand?"

"Had an unfortunate encounter with the boat's propeller. We just have to stick to the plan, together."

"Agreed."

"And, you have to promise me one more thing."

"Anything."

I took a deep breath before putting my wish out there. "A kiss... the next time it looks like I really need it."

The look of pleased shock grew into a smile that went from ear to ear on his face. It left just as briefly as he turned serious. "Of course."

"Preferably when I am not in so much pain."

Another nod and a short laugh followed.

I breathed out, glad for his reaction. "Alright, let's get this show on the road."

By the end of that morning, I had been genuinely impressed by Richard. Most of my interactions with him prior to 48 hours ago had been limited in task and time. Although I had noticed a change in him from afar over the expanse of his stay on the island, it was reassuring to know my assumptions had been correct. Daffy may have been on to something, with his Spidey Sense, where Richard was concerned.

We were a mile or so out as we approached the cliffs that masked what was our beach to the outside world. Sitting at the front of the boat, I turned and looked at Richard to direct him towards the hidden entrance of the cavern. I motioned to slow his approach. He seemed at ease steering. I made a mental note to ask him about his previous boating experience at some point in the near future.

He had taken the lead without asking that morning: grabbing the bags, checking us out of the hotel, and securing a ride to the beach where we had docked the boat. It was a bit eerie when I realized how little had to be explained. I reminded myself that a man who had traveled to Thailand to begin with, and eventually our island, would have the common sense to take charge. I gathered it had been a much different way than how I had ended up there.

We entered the cave slowly as the engine downgraded to a gentle purr. After I pointed to the right bank, he steered swiftly in that direction. I jumped out of the boat, from reflex, to assist in pulling it to a stop. The pain reminded me to use my non-dominant arm to wrap the rope around the makeshift anchor. I looked up to see a scolding expression on Richard's face as he hopped out.

"You shouldn't be doing that." He coaxed the back end of the boat to the craggy rocks and grabbed the other rope before I could.

"You can't do everything. Besides, you don't know the secret knock."

"What do you mean?" Answering his question, I put my fingers in my mouth, closed my eyes, and did my best to summon the spirit of Daffy. The whistle was just as loud as one Big D could have mustered; but, I suspected he would have commented it was a couple octaves higher than needed. The echo, however, was spot on, lasting a good ten seconds.

Before Richard could ask the cave's ceiling pulled back and shone a spot light on the both of us.

His head cocked up high enough that it appeared as if his chin was all that remained atop his neck. "What the fuck?"

Keaty's voice travelled down to the both of us. "Bout time, mates... You both were cutting into my cricket time."

"Sorry, will The Daily Telegraph make up for it?" I screamed back up to the hole.

"Just might, if you both get a move on." Keaty's face emerged above us outlined by the white background of clouds. He looked positively angelic. 

"Let's break up the party, shall we, and get the supplies up?" Bugs joined in, pushing Keaty out of the way. "Clear!" A tangle of rope fell down to the both of us, giving us mere seconds to jump back. The pulley system that Daffy had set up years back had been the last piece of the puzzle to getting supplies back to the island.

"Asshole." I mumbled to Richard. "The man has no sense of timing at all." He nodded in agreement. I stared at Richard as I commanded, "All you, bud. Think you can handle loading the supplies?"

"Got it."

I knew he did.

Twenty minutes later the last of the rice had gone up. Richard called up to Keaty. "One last load!" He stared at me as the ropes tumbled down again. "How much can this thing hold?

"We've gotten hundred pounds of rice up there in the past. What else is left?"

He grinned. "You."

I shook my head. "No."

"I've only done the swim under the cliffs once. But, that's enough for me to know that even a mild impediment like that hand of yours is way too risky."

"Tick, tock, Rich!" Keaty called down.

"Beth is coming up!"

"What?!" Bugs answered this time.

"Beth hurt herself on the trip! Won't be able to swim back!"

"Won't work! Can't risk breaking the pulley!"

I nodded Bugs' sentiment. "He's right, Richard."

"It'll work!" After calling back up to retort, he looked at me. "You can't be much over a hundred. It'll work. Just get in the basket, lean your weight in, hold onto the rope with your good hand and let the big boys do the heavy lifting." He smiled and then prepared to call back up to Bugs. He wrapped his hands around his mouth to amplify his request. "I'll spot from below! I'll give you a heads up if we need to abort the mission!"

"If something goes wrong, this is all on you!" Bugs screamed, obviously pissed.

Richard held the basket and rope secure for me. "And I am sure you will let Sal know all about it." It was Richard's turn to mumble to me. My hesitancy gave him pause to quit joking. "It's going to be fine, Beth. I wouldn't risk your safety on a hunch." I saw a flicker of Daffy in him again. Hadn't Daffy mentioned how well he had built the pulley system, throwing in some of his engineering background into the project? He had stated it could easily transport a person more times than I could remember.

"OK. But, you have to promise me you'll be careful on your swim. I won't be there to guide you."

"Sooner you go up, the sooner I can get going."

I nodded. I stepped in and wrapped my hand twice around the rope.

"Ready!" As I felt the ground fall away from under me, Richard used his hands to guide the basket up. The jerks of the pulls made my stomach somersault. I looked down at him, the tips of his fingers breaking from the basket as it rose above his reach. A quick pound of his chest with his right hand as a much deeper voice emerged. "Me Tarzan, you Jane!" A scared giggle broke free from me. "Looks good, boys! Keep going! I'll see you on the other side!"

Unhygenix had stitched up my hand as soon as I got back to camp. Being the compulsively clean cook that he was with an array of utensils, he was the best option for first aid on the island. In the end it had only been seven stitches worth of kitchen twine. I downed enough "Coconut Surprise" to ease my way through most of it, biting down on a wooden dowel in between sips.

Keaty came by to check on me in the mess tent when Genix had finished.

"You know, Beth, one would think you were in need of a lot of attention with all this drama. Not like you at all."

I smiled, happy to be teased as I was buzzing. "Blame it all on Richard. Drama follows that boy around like he's the Pied Piper."

"I plan to… when he gets back."

My eyes widened. "He's not back yet?"

Shaking his head he must have seen the concern on my face. "No need to worry, Love. He actually caught me on the beach after I dropped you off to our resident intern here.” He nodded to Unhygenix who mumbled something back in Italian with a hint of slight irritation. “He was asking questions about the pulley and how to get to the top of the cliffs. Said something about heading to the falls after. Rich is not the most punctual. He probably lost track of time is all."

"How long has it been since we all got back?"

Keaty shrugged. "Couple hours at best."

I sighed, getting up from the bench. "I'm going to the falls." I called over to Genix. "Hey, Doc, am I free to go?"

He waved a cleaver about as he switched gears. "I will bill you."

"Thanks." I stumbled a bit as I walked out of the tent. 

Keaty caught my arm to steady me. "I'll go with you."

"I'm fine. The walk will clear my head. Besides, I need you to distribute the goods before the natives get restless."

"Alright, but make it quick or I’m sending out a search party for the both of you."

When I saw him floating leisurely in the water downstream from the falls I felt an immediate sense of relief. I sat down by the rocks and watched him for a while. He eventually noticed me once he began the swim back to the edge. I spotted a smile. He walked out, dripping from head to toe, which afforded me a long look at his lean torso. I willed myself not to blush and turn away. It had proved a difficult feat as I battled my modesty; but, one that I was glad I had seen to fruition.

He sat down next to me a couple feet away. "I didn't worry you, did I?" The matte coating of the rock he sat on was overtaken by the water that glistened as it trickled off his body.

"I wasn't there to hold your hand... I started to wonder if you had gotten lost."

"Ahhh, yes, I do need a lot of hand holding, don't I?" He looked down at my hand as he bridged the gap between us by a foot. "Speaking of which…" His outstretched hand requested an inspection of my own. I obliged. "Hygeine took care of it?"

"Yep."

"Looks good. Much better than what I did."

"A few stitches under those new bandages, too."

"I'm glad you are OK."

"I'm glad you are, too." I brought my hand back to my lap. "Bugs doesn't want to admit you were right about the basket transport."

He laughed. "I'd expect nothing less." He stared at the water. "You know, if word gets out how easy it is to get to the boat, more people will want to do it. Maybe try to sneak a visit to the mainland and not come back."

I nodded. "Sal and Bugs wouldn't want that."

"May be something we can use. You and I could be the main rice runners from now on, unless Sal wants that knowledge spreading through camp. What about Keaty?"

"Bugs reamed him out on the walk back. He's not talking unless he wants outhouse duty for the rest of his life.” I stared at him in confusion. “How is the rice run a win?"

"We help control the community for Sal and in the end we are the ones that everyone relies on." He held his hand out and tipped it. "Control shifts, power shifts."

"You've had time to think. How about your mainland party friends?"

He looked over his shoulder before staring back at me. His tone was much more somber and steady. "If they followed my instructions I know where to look for them. I found a good spot on my walk back where I can check every few days without arousing too much suspicion. If they do turn up, I will be ready. If I get to them before anyone else, I'm sure I can get them to go along with a new story of how they found the place."

"Lots of “ifs.” I'd give it another six months. If it doesn't happen by then they will have lost interest and moved on to something else."

"You didn't think I had gotten lost. You have more faith in me than that." He changed gears quickly. "Truth is I just couldn't face everyone right away. I put a lot of things at risk."

"You've had time to think and work out a plan. Even thrown in some overthrowing of the current regime in for good measure. Deliberate thought eliminates risk." I stood up. "Come on, if we start the walk back now we will make it just in time for dinner."

He stood up. "Sounds good."

Stepping into the grass, I walked with purpose, wanting to get us to camp as soon as possible. "Sal will want a debriefing, you know? She held out so I could get my hand looked at before you came back from the other side."

"I figured as much."

"If we can get this over without too much suspicion, we should be fine." I grabbed his dry shirt from one of the rocks. He grinned as I debated whether or not to give it to him. I took in one more look before I tossed it over to him reluctantly.

"Everything went well aside from the hand, then?" Sal was obviously eager for a report, waiting for us on the bridge - our state line. The stern jaw barely cracked a smile when we approached.

I nodded, taking the lead in conversation. "Everything checked out. We got a great trade on our currency and enough rice for six months, at least. Even crossed each item off the wish lists. Couldn't have done it without Richard."

"I heard. Seems you keep on impressing us all." She eyed him in a way that gave me pause. Was that interest in her eyes? Sal hardly ever came across to anyone in a sexual way. It was always about what one could provide to the community. Her effort at being maternal to our younger citizens usually became apparent as her ploy. That did not seem to be the case with Richard; at least, not anymore. Was he proving to be her equal? Competition? A conquest?

Whatever I saw, Richard must have as well. He shuffled from side to side before moving closer to me to wrap a protective arm around my waist. I immediately recognized the con. "It was easy with Beth. She was the impressive one." He squeezed my side and looked over to me smiling. "She was the one who insisted she was fine after hurting her hand even though I kept saying we should get her to a hospital. Her selflessness for the island is incredible. But," After I feigned a blush he looked to Sal, “I’m sure you already know that."

"Indeed." A broader smile emerged from her now. It almost looked like her face might crack from the force of it. "Let's get you back, Richard, for a proper welcome home dinner." Sal led the way.

Richard and I walked a bit, still with his arm around me. As much as I would have liked for us to stroll into the hut, appearing as a couple, I knew that would just create more acting and storytelling that my mind was not up for. Gently, I swiped his arm from my side. When I looked to him there was not a hurt expression. He gave me a hint of understanding with a nod and a wink. Giving Sal something to think about was one thing. Giving the community something to talk about was a whole other issue.

On our approach into the tent, Sal stepped to the side, urging Richard to enter. He crossed the threshold and was greeted by a roar of applause. My mind drifted back to the many times Daffy had been hailed that way with me usually in tow. It was a family reunion brimming with gratitude.

I wanted Richard to get the full experience. His lopsided grin returned with some embarrassment and modesty tagging along. He bowed ceremoniously to hooting from Keaty. A few cups began banging on the table to quiet the crowd. Keaty then screamed, "We know you aren't one to be at a loss for words, Rich!"

He raised a hand up. "Thanks. By the reception I'm assuming we got all of your orders correct." A few responses rose from the crowd before he continued. "I want to thank you all for the chance you have given me to be part of such an amazing place, surrounded by incredible people." It was sounding a bit like a campaign speech. I gazed at Sal to pick up any reaction. All she did was smile. "I am at your disposal." He clapped his hands together once. "Now, let's eat!"

As part of our reward for the rice run it was customary to be exempt from cleanup and any night chores after dinner. I had escaped the crowd early as a handful still hung around Richard, thanking him and asking about the trip. Heading up to the upper bunk level I tried to keep an ear out for anything that might get him in trouble. He was agreeable and careful, extolling pleasantries, before he excused himself.

The group floated in and out of the tent busying themselves with the usual checklists. I so loved this time after a run. Being a part of a group like ours could be overwhelming for someone like me. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy being with the crowd from time to time. But being on the outer edge, during intervals like these, allowed for a battery recharge without appearing antisocial.

My eyes had only been closed a minute or two, while I reposed in my bunk, before I sensed someone over me. I opened them to see Richard staring down at me. "I forgot I had these." He produced Sumet's bottle of antibiotics out of his pocket.

I sat up as he sat on the step by my area. We met in the middle and he passed the pills over to me. "Thanks. That will definitely help. I'll try to save some to keep in first aid." I looked over to the dinner table. "How did you like it?"

"Definitely felt appreciated. Was it like that every time?"

My lips frowned a bit, "More so in the beginning from what I remember... When Daffy started to go downhill over the last year… before he finally left..."

"Well, at least we were able to bring that good feeling back tonight."

I nodded.

"Oh, and..." He bolted over to the other side of the room to his bunk and rummaged through his sack. How was this whole thing between us going to play out? It was all I could think about while I waited to see what he was searching for. He raised his hand in victory and held up a small wrapped rectangle. He returned to me and sat back down, this time on my bunk. "I hope you don't have this one." He passed it over to me. "Wanted to get you something as a thank you for all the batteries."

"You didn't have to."

He smiled. "Open it." His arm swung around my side, leaning in a bit as I followed his command and unwrapped what looked like butcher paper with my good hand. Once revealed I saw it was an old hardback book. The library style binding had no writing on the front or spine; they had been long worn away. Flipping through the pages I came across the title.

"Oh, man. Whitman. Leaves of Grass." I looked up to see him staring at me, just inches away, as we were in the hotel room. But, the mood was much different now. There was a possibility and future now that was open to anything. "I don't have this; I did back home, though."

"Good." His eyes softened as his hand brushed my thigh. "Do you have a favorite?"

I pursed my lips together, taking in the cleft of his chin up close. "Of course. Favorites. I will have to read them to you sometime."

"It's a date." The slight smile hinted at how presumptuous he knew he was being.

"Thank you."

"Thank you for letting me see you. All of you. I know that's a big deal."

"You're welcome."

He took a deep breath before he sat up and leaned back to break the intimacy. "Get some sleep."

"You too."

He stood up and walked back to his bunk. I rested my head against the pillow and closed my eyes, whispering, "Night." I gripped the Whitman volume, placing it on my chest. I tried my best to remember how his lips had felt when he stole a kiss from me as I drifted off to sleep in the hotel. Satisfied in knowing with certainty that I would experience that kiss again, sleep came quickly.

It had been a week since our return. Things seemed relatively peaceful and unremarkable on the beach, which was very much to my liking. Sal had kept me busy and moved me to garden detail again. There wasn't much I could do about my hand to baby it. Luckily, the pain subsided as the days went by. And the vegetables wouldn't wait for something as fickle as a cut to heal. The harvest needed attending to with the threat of bad weather. It wouldn't be long before the chance of extended downpours would wipe out our crops for the rest of the season.

The squash were coming in like gangbusters. I had finished dropping off a basket filled with them to the cook tent, hoping a "spaghetti" dish might be imagined for dinner. A break was in order so I headed for the sands.

My usual spot was calling. It was a far corner tucked amid the palm trees and away from traffic with a view of the crystal blue waters that were surrounded by the hundred foot high cliffs. To get to my small little oasis, however, I had to pass a gaggle of gals. They were taking a break as well to lay out in their skimpiest. It was weird how much the animal instinct to breed brought out such similar acts of showing off and preening across the species divide.

An informal poll by Vera once had uncovered an interesting result of living in our community. A large majority of the women on the island were in sync with their monthly cycles. But, of course, I was one of the odd "men" out. Even the cells in my body resisted the biological urge to be a part of the pack. I sighed and prepared myself for the amiable chit chat that would have to occur.

Miranda was the first to greet me. "Oh my god... Beth, are you joining us?" She removed her sunglasses to reveal a shocked expression.

I laughed. "Is that so impossible to believe?" I took in a quick census of the five ladies. A German, Italian, and three Frenchies made up the poker hand. Francoise was in the group. Richard's hopefully former infatuation looked effortlessly radiant in her blue string bikini. She lazily looked over in my direction. I decided to sit for a bit. "Beautiful afternoon, have to enjoy it before the weather changes."

" _Madonna_ , don't remind me. Do you think it will be as bad as last year?" Anna, the Italian, piped in as she reclined on her stomach.

"Let's hope not!" Miranda put her glasses back on as she answered. "It was a month of clouds and rain and rice!"

" _Guarda la."_ A whistle loud enough for only the ladies to hear was emitted by Anna and followed her instructions. We all stared in the same direction she was. From the clearing, heading towards the water, emerged our resident fishermen. Spears in hand, the Swedes and Richard sauntered towards their mission. The way they all puffed their chests out it was blatantly obvious mating season was in full swing.

Sven looked over at us. "Looking lovely, ladies." Olaf agreed, nodding in appreciation. Richard looked over and for a moment I thought I spotted a double take.

"Since we can't get much out of Frannie on him - what's your take on Richard, Beth?" Miranda seemed oblivious to the slight irritation the comment produced from Francoise. I couldn't tell if it was the nickname or the insinuation that she was holding something back which caused the reaction. "After all, you spent a couple days with him."

I raised my shoulders. "I don't know what I could tell you. He is a nice enough guy. Good man to have around in a sticky spot."

"Did he have a girlfriend before he came to the island?" It was Anna's turn to question.

I opened my mouth about to plead ignorance when Francoise answered. "No. I asked him when we got here."

"We are trying to figure out his type," Miranda continued. "I wouldn't mind testing him."

"He's definitely worth testing." Anna giggled.

I smiled in agreement.

"I think Beth might be his type." Francoise stared at me.

"Me?"

"He's been talking about you all the time to Etienne. He told me the other day. Richard’s driving him crazy with it… non-stop."

I looked over and watched him as he stood stoically in the water with his spear ready to strike.

Miranda sighed. "Well, I guess you get first crack at him, Beth. Now that his probation period is over, he's fair game."

"What probation?" Francoise asked.

"Oh, you and Etienne didn't get that information when you came to the island because you are a couple. All the singles that come to the island get the speech from Sal about staying abstinent for the first six months. Keeps the island and group in balance. Some bullshit like that." Miranda schooled us. It had been so long since I came to the island I had forgotten all about it. My abstinence clause was still in effect all these years later. "Since Daffy's gone..." Miranda stared at me.

I shook my head. "We were close and all, but Daffy and I were never together." I wasn't sure if it was any of their business and cursed myself inside for saying anything about the subject.

"Maybe Richard is just your type, too, then," Anna continued. " _Un altro Americano."_

"Maybe." I stood up. "See you all at dinner."

I smiled to myself as I walked over to my spot. He'd been talking about me. A lot.

"So, what exactly constitutes a date on this island?" Richard came up from behind to startle me as I dumped the dishes into the tub.

"Hello to you, too." A few people were milling about and took the time to stop and take note of the conversation.

I spotted Miranda off to my right smirking. She walked up to us. "Richard?"

He turned to her quickly. "Yeah?"

"Anna and I were wondering how long you've been with us on the island. Feels like you've been here forever."

"Uh, six months." He looked a bit confused.

"Six months, already. Wow! Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. Carry on!" She patted me on the shoulder and winked before scampering off.

I walked past him with my tray, blushing, and went to grab the rest of the silverware. He kept pace behind and met me at the table. Quick to assist, he picked up a few cups. "Sorry. I couldn't help myself."

"What is going on with you?" I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Is this part of your plan? Are we putting on a show?"

He turned sharply so that our lips almost touched. "If it means I get some time alone with you, then yes, it's part of my plan." His straightforward approach caught me off guard.

The stares were getting more intense around us. I couldn't stand the attention any longer. "Meet me by the rocks on the beach later. I need to finish up here." He lingered a few more seconds before he disappeared. I felt the heat on my face as I hurried.

The full moon lit up the white sands on the beach. It was easy to spot him sitting by the water. I had brought a lantern for my rendezvous. I didn't know how long he had been watching me walk toward him.

I sat down next to him and placed the lantern by our feet. "Alright, Don Juan, what's up?"

He smiled at me. "I didn't want to miss an opportunity."

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard through the grapevine today that you might be interested."

"Who told you that?"

"Etienne. He heard from Francoise."

I shook my head. "I heard that your probation is up."

His grin got wider. "That too." He leaned in again. I had to grin back. "To be honest, I would have never done what I did tonight unless it was absolutely necessary to stake my claim."

My grin turned into a frown of disappointment at the comment. "I realize we are isolated from mainstream society, Richard; but, we haven't gone back in time. I am not property."

He brushed a strand of hair off and over my shoulder with an effortless intimacy. I felt his fingers trail down my arm and shivered. I was surprised at how quickly my body began to ache inside. I had not been touched like that by someone in years. But, he had something about him that created electricity within me. "I know that. Not everyone on this island does, though. Since we've been back you've been the main topic for most of the guys."

"Not possible." I tried to follow the conversation while staring at his lips.

"God's honest truth. According to them, enough time has passed since Daffy's been gone."

"What does Daffy have to do with it? Miranda made a comment today about him, insinuating we were an item."

"From what I can gather Daffy was extremely protective of you. Enough so that no one even attempted anything while he was around. All the guys pretty much assumed you and he were together and you all just did a good job of hiding it."

As I thought back to the circumstances that had brought me to the island it did seem to make a bit of sense. Had I cocooned my feelings for so long that even I couldn't see how Daffy and I being attached at the hip could be seen as something more? "So, this display of interest is you protecting me from all the big bad wolves?" I raised one eyebrow.

"Not altogether." His hand reached up and cupped the side of my face. "If you are interested in someone else then far be it from me..."

I didn't let him finish. My lips covered his softly. I kissed him gingerly and placed my hand over his. My skin began to burn, feeling my internal body heat rise. My body seemed to wake up in an instant. I broke from him and laughed at the shocked look on his face. He leaned back in to continue when Keaty called to us.

"Sal's called an emergency meeting! Come on you lovebirds! That will have to wait!"

Richard sighed. "You've got to be kidding me."

As irritated as I was at the disruption I noted the seriousness of such a request this late. "It's got to be important."

His expression turned serious. He stood up, grabbed the lantern and extended a hand to me. After helping me up we walked silently back to the main tent.

Upon entering, everyone turned to stare at us. It seemed we were the last to arrive.

"Right, now that we are all present." Sal began and the heads turned to give her their undivided attention. Richard and I sat in the back, his hand gripping mine tightly.

"Bugs has been picking up some radio transmissions of late that have given us reason for concern. It looks like there is a rather large and potentially dangerous storm forming. Weather reports have it making landfall in a few days." There were mumbles throughout the crowd. "The good news is we've all been making the usual preparations for this time of year. We all need to be up bright and early in the morning for final duties to ensure we are all safe." Sal looked over at us. "I'll need Richard and Beth, along with Keaty, to meet Bugs and I at sunrise for delegations. Right now, the best thing we can do is get a few hours of sleep before we start the day. Any questions?" Everyone stared back at her, quiet and attentive. Sal nodded. "Let's call it a night."

The crowd broke apart whispering worries and questions to each other.

Richard was about to ask me something when Vera came over and grabbed my elbow. "Promise me you'll be careful tomorrow. Whatever Queen E. has planned you watch out for yourself first."

"Of course I will." I smiled at the one true friend I had made on this beach besides Daffy.

"I'll make sure of it." Richard nodded to V.

She smiled at us both before heading to bed.

"What delegations?" Richard followed me to my bunk.

"Well, without Daffy, they'll need to find someone just as crazy to do the dangerous stuff to prepare. Looks like we've been recruited." I could tell he was uncomfortable with the thought. It was time to lighten the mood a bit as bedtime rituals began around us. I plopped down on my mattress and invited him to sit with a pat of my hand on the covers. He sat with his legs crossed as I pulled out the book he had given me. "So, since this is a date, I promised to read you one of my favorites. And, since it’s poetry night…"

He looked around, "Not the most secluded spot for a date." His smile widened and the ease returned to his face. “I guess that means you might as well recite it for everyone.”

I paused and made the impromptu decision to take his advice. Maybe it was his kiss that had proved to be just the right intoxicant, able to bury my usual inhibitions. I cleared my throat and waited for his full attention as I flipped to the page. A hand came to rest on his chin as he leaned in to listen.

"O ME! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;" I surprised myself as I stated the first line much more loudly than I had anticipated. Those milling about and within earshot turned to watch Richard and I. He smiled at me, taken aback as well. "Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;" Keaty and Vera both walked over and sat down to pay attention.

"Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)" Miranda and Anna sat and stared from their neighboring bunks as they were in the process of turning in for the night. 

"Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;" Etienne and Francoise were tucked in cozily as I continued, my voice growing a bit louder with each line. My bravery built as my normally timid speech in front of a crowd was encouraged and fortified by the achingly honest and raw lines of Whitman. 

"Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me; 

Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined; 

The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?"

As I glanced around and noted the entire community now hinging on my every word, I relented and handed the book over to Richard. I pointed to where I had left off. It took just a beat for him to complete the reading. 

"Answer." He projected beautifully, a natural born speaker. He took just the right amount of a pause before he continued.

"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;" Another beat, and then he put down the book to stare at me as he recited the last line. "That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse."

Keaty was the first to clap. The rest soon followed. It was a beautiful moment. I had never felt more connected with everyone.

The applause slowly subsided and things returned to the usual routine as I exchanged smiles with one after the other. Richard waited patiently until it was just the two of us again. "That was pretty amazing. Very 'Dead Poets Society'."

"Yeah." I shook my head as I laughed, reeling at the alternate universe feeling.

"What brought that on?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I replied with a huge grin, "You." His eyebrows raised. "You do strange things to me, Richard."

"I guess it's all about balance, huh?"

"Guess so."

"Good thing we are working together tomorrow morning." Handing me back the book, he leaned in and whispered, "Thank you for an awesome date." He kissed me softly on my cheek. "I can't wait to do it again."

The normally clear skies were now cloudy. I knew we were in for something big. I hadn't seen a sky that grey since the first year I had been here. I decided to keep that information to myself when Richard met me outside the longhouse.

"Morning." I smiled, noticing he had outfitted himself for some heavy work. It was good to see his sandals had been replaced with the hiking boots he had purchased on the mainland trip. Grinning, I thought back to how I had mentioned the importance of footwear on the island. It had been when we were untying the boat in the cavern, prepping for our departure to get supplies. Could it be that he really paid that much attention to everything I said?

His white tank top clung to his chest as he grasped his arms behind his back to stretch. "You didn't put 'good' in front of 'morning'. I can see why."

"If you needed any more reason to prepare, that should do it."

"Where are we meeting the rest of 'em?"

"The bridge. I saw Sal and Bugs skip out about 15 minutes ago. Ready?"

"Almost." He smiled as he stepped in and grasped my waist. He quickly placed a kiss on my lips. "For luck."

I kissed him back, a bit longer and deeper. "We are going to need more than a little luck today."

"Oh my God, seriously!?" There was Keaty behind us again.

"Jesus, Keaty. Is this going to be a common recurrence?" Richard frowned at me before stepping away to jab Keaty in the arm.

"Well, if the two of you are always going to be snogging, I would say it's inevitable." He fake sucker-punched Richard in the gut and then looked over to me. "But, I have to say, if it keeps her looking that happy I am not opposed to it."

Had my demeanor changed that much in the course of a few days? I was becoming self-conscious again. I piped up, "Everybody ready?"

"Let's go." Richard led the way.

"Quite a show last night." Bugs didn't say much; but, when he did, it was always with a bit of bite. "I didn't realize we had such lovers of poetry in our midst."

"We are thinking of some Shakespeare tonight... "

Sal grabbed Bugs’ forearm to silence his response to Richard. She seemed to take the air from his lungs to speak. "Alright, we need a few items checked. Bugs and I will be securing all of the structures. But, we'll need the boat doubly secured."

I sighed, expecting as much. Richard shrugged his shoulders. "No problem. Beth, Keaty, and I can handle that."

"This needs to happen quickly. We'll need you all back in two hours."

"Sal, do you need us to check the trails on the way back, make sure all's clear? Just in case there's a potential downed tree or something that might cause us an issue later on if the storm is bad enough." Richard supplied the suggestion while Keaty and I exchanged a quick glance of confusion at each other. We were not used to being volunteered for additional duties.

"That's not a bad idea, Richard." Sal smiled at the interest in the community's overall well-being. "Let's not make it an all-day affair, OK?"

"Of course not. Prioritize." He nodded.

"All the materials you may need are in this pack." Bugs handed the bag over to Keaty and added, "Get a move on, all of you." He made a point of giving Richard a long hard look before he and Sal left the three of us on the bridge.

As soon as we lost sight of the both of them walking back to the tents, Richard took flight ahead of us, whipping around just long enough to shout, "You guys heard the General, let's get a move on!"

With confusion Keaty called out, "Rich! Beach is that way... Need to get to the cliffs, remember?"

Richard turned back to grin at me, thumping his chest. The action immediately reminded me of the last time I had seen him do that. "We aren't going under the cliffs, Keaty." I walked faster trying to keep up with Richard as Keaty lagged behind.

Richard's long legs had me working double-time. He grabbed my hand to pull me along the path as it widened. It took a few seconds for Keaty to catch on and catch up with us. "Oh, no, we can't." He met up with Richard on his right.

"Why not? You saw how well the pulley handled Beth. We send her down first. I saw an extra supply of rope when we got back from the run. We can anchor that to a tree. I'll knot it for the climb down and back up, just in case the basket can't handle me. Even with all of that in play it’s still safer than going under."

I nodded. "Having experienced both ways of getting back from the boat I'd have to agree with him, Keaty."

"Sal's going to be pissed if something goes wrong." Keaty readjusted the pack on his shoulder.

Richard stopped in mid-step and turned to Keaty. "Who gives a shit? Mother doesn't always know best. The pulley will hold. And, if it doesn't, and the storm is as bad as predicted," he shrugged his shoulders, "who's to say it didn't get messed up because of the weather?"

Keaty looked to me and cocked his head in Richard’s direction. "You trust this one, Beth?"

"Yes."

Richard smiled at the vote of confidence. "Let's get this done."

Thankfully, even with the precautions we took using the pulley and makeshift ladder Richard had fashioned, everything held together as we secured the boat.

It was as we were cleaning up the area and putting away things that Keaty concluded the task a success. "We must have saved a good half hour not having to take the cliff route."

"And, getting the boat on higher ground and secured should meet Sal's approval." I made sure the extra ropes were placed back in the barrel buried in the sand.

"Waves are already looking choppy." Richard looked out over the ocean. His eyes scanned the area.

"So, what's next, Rich?" Keaty stood up, ready for direction.

"Why don't you head back to Sal and Bugs, see if they need any more help." He nodded over to Keaty. "Make sure you take a dip in the stream before you get back.

Keaty waved his finger with a big grin. "Got all the bases covered. And, what do I report you two are doing?"

"Checking the trail, of course." Richard stood up. I frowned, feigning disinterest about the chore but smiling inside at the thought of some time with him alone.

"Just don't get too distracted with other things. They'll be expecting you back soon." Keaty handed him the pack. "Keep an eye on the skies." After shaking Richard's hand he gave me a quick squeeze before he headed down the hill.

Richard looked over to me. "Ready?"

"Yep. Which way?" I pointed both hands in a whirl of directions.

He smiled. "There's a spot I was concerned about. We should head there right away."

It had taken a half-hour to get to the area even at a fairly quick pace. He'd offered his hand to me on a few of the questionable parts of the trail. Our banter had kept the hike pleasant pushing away my thoughts of the storm clouds lingering above us.

We parted through a wall of trees and reached the clearing with a view of the ocean. "Here." Richard swung the pack from his shoulder, resting it in front of him as he sat down.

I joined him. "Not as romantic as I expected."

"I'm working on romantic somewhere else." He grinned and pulled out a pair of binoculars. "This is business, unfortunately. Here, take a look." Passing them to me, he directed my gaze to the left. "See that island?"

It took a bit of time to locate the spot. My eyes eventually fell onto the land. "Yeah."

"That's where Etienne, Francoise and I came from, when we followed Daffy's map." I put down the binoculars to stare at him as he continued. "I copied Daffy's map exactly... And if Zeph and Sammy try to get here, that's more than likely how they'll attempt. I've been coming up here every other day to check. So far, no sign of them."

"And with the storm coming, we've got less to worry about for a while when it comes to them."

"As if we don't have enough to worry about." He smiled at me. "I just want you to know I'm handling things." His eyes were a steely blue, matching the stormy sky.

"Thank you." I grabbed his face and kissed him.

He moaned softly in appreciation. Our lips broke from each other gently. "You're welcome." He kissed me again, allowing our mouths to linger together for a wonderfully long time. Eventually, we came up for air. Richard turned, looking around. "Amazing. No Keaty this time."

I laughed, then sighed. "You know we should probably get back."

"I know. But, this will be continued... soon."

"Absolutely."

When we got back to the beach there was a steady buzz of activity. It was comforting to know everyone could come together at times of uncertainty. It hadn't taken long for the dark clouds to move in over the community.

It was merely a minute after we had crossed over the bridge when Christo ran over to Richard requesting his help. The boys had decided to go on one more fishing expedition before the rain came.

"Unhygenix wanted to know if you could head to the garden and secure some of the plants, Beth." Christo came prepared with spears in hand as he gave one to Richard.

"Sure." I pulled the pack off of Richard's shoulder. "I'll get this to Bugs, you better get going."

Richard smiled at me. "Shouldn't be too long."

"No doubt with those fishing skills." I replied with a smirk. He leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. Christo's eyes widened.

"Sounds like a challenge to me. Let's get going, Cree." Grabbing Christo by the back of the neck, he guided him towards the beach.

It had taken an hour, but I had staked a third of the crops that I thought might best fare in the impending weather. Netting had followed, then a plastic tarp. Some ropes secured the makeshift tents.

"Daffy would be impressed, Beth."

Startled, I turned to see Sal watching me right by the clearing. I continued back to my work. "By what, exactly, would he be impressed?" I didn't feel much like conversation. But, Sal never spoke unless she had a point to get across. Amusing her seemed to be the best route at the moment.

"All of this. The way we are working together. How the kids are taking to the responsibility bestowed on us to protect the island." She stepped onto the walkway between the rows of vegetables towards me. I grabbed the remaining stakes into a bundle to move to another area. My move was purposeful, with the pointy stakes inadvertently leading in Sal's direction. She paused, looking at the wood in my hands before making fierce eye contact. "He would have been especially impressed with you."

"I'm just doing what Daffy taught me."

"One might think you are taking a leadership role. Richard certainly is."

I side stepped her and cut across to the other row. "Daffy had big shoes for anyone to try and fill." I dropped all of the stakes but one. "It will take more than one person to match that."

She materialized again by my side. "As long as we all remember our place."

"How could we forget?" I grabbed the hammer from my belt.

"Daffy did. His rants left the community damaged and unsure. We are just now starting to get back to normal. More dissention will just lead to another fracture."

I laughed as I placed the stake in position and gave it a few good whacks. "We wouldn't want to cast a doubt on anyone's intentions, for the good of the community."

"I know your intention to stay on the island is for more than philosophical reasons, Beth. Don't jeopardize that." Her lean figure moved in closer to me. "You are safe here… as long as you stay in line."

I gripped the hammer tightly. It swung sharply to my side after the last impact was made to the top of the stake. "Heard and understood."

"Sal?" We both turned in unison to see Richard at the edge of the clearing.

"What is it?" She huffed in exasperation.

"Bugs is looking for you back at the longhouse."

"Right." She stomped off past the both of us.

Richard walked over to me and grabbed a stake. "Need some help?" I nodded. My thoughts were somewhere else. We worked in silence for a few minutes. It was when he came back after he found the netting that he spoke. "What did she mean?"

The knot in my stomach tightened. "How long were you spying on us?"

He ignored the question. "What did you run from?"

"I am not talking about this right now, OK? We have more important things to tend to, twenty questions is not high on my list at the moment." My words came out quick and anxious.

"OK." He draped the netting over the plants. My body froze for a couple seconds as I watched him.

"I just..." He stepped over to me. The hammer was released from my grip by his hand and he dropped it to the ground. His hands grasped mine. He stared at me intently. "I haven't had to think about the reason I came here for a long time. And you, you've made it even easier to forget. Don’t make me have to tell you."

"OK." His arms embraced me tightly. I felt his breath on my ear as he spoke. "It's OK. Whatever it is and whatever happens, I want you to know it's going to be OK."

"You've got her rattled," I whispered back in his ear.

"I know." He kissed my cheek. "Let's finish this."

Walking back into the steam bath that was now the longhouse reminded me of what we were in for. I looked around, quickly picking out the would-be whiners. There was at least a handful that had arrived to the island after me. They definitely would not handle being cooped up for any longer than a day without a serious case of cabin fever building up.

Richard looked up as he heard an unfamiliar pinging above him.

"Rain against the tarp. Bugs and Sal took care of it while we were gone, I'm sure." I answered his silent query as I headed to my bunk.

He followed me wading through the soup. "Damn, I wasn't expecting it to build up so fast, the humidity."

"That's what happens when you put a poncho over our nice little hut. Paradise, huh?" I watched as a few more inhabitants entered the tent and shook off from the drench. "Last time this happened, there were only a dozen of us."

"Guess we are in for a social experiment." He sat down next to me. "How long did it last?"

"The heavy rain was at least two days; another week of showers after that." I pulled out some batteries. "You and Keaty will definitely need these."

He smiled. "Thanks. So, how do you think I'll hold up?"

"Depends.” I leaned back to scrutinize him playfully. “If you are a yahoo who has to venture out in a snowstorm after four hours of being indoors, only to get stuck in a ten foot snow drift because you thought your SUV could drive through anything, then not very well. You don't seem like you would do that. But, my judgment has been wrong before."

"Maybe we can entertain each other with some stories while we are stuck in here.” Sweat was beading up on his forehead quickly.

"I think you'll find the more still you are and less talking in this kind of situation, the better. That's what Daffy taught me." I searched for my fresh cotton sheet in my bag. "No booze, no weed." I nodded to the others. "But, I can guarantee half of these guys will be imbibing soon. Not a good combo in tight quarters. Especially when tempers will start to run high out of forced confinement and boredom."

"Why doesn't Sal say something?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe she's picking her battles. If she had laid down the gauntlet too early on, she wouldn't have gotten everyone to rally together to get stuff done. Besides, I think she relishes in being able to use someone's mistake as a lesson for her congregation."

I had blabbed on for a bit only to realize he was studying me closely. I clammed up and unfolded the sheet, laying it between us in a heap. He broke the silence first. "She's intimidated by you, you know."

"Doubtful. You were there to see how she spoke to me in the garden. That was not a woman who was unsettled by me."

He shook his head. "Nah, she was testing. She has a feeling about you. It's not one that makes her comfortable."

I raised my eyebrows. "Daffy must have worn off on me. Were you a psych student before the island? That must be why you are so interested in me."

He grabbed my hand, keeping the mood serious. "Not now. But, after all of this, I want to hear all about your past. What brought you to the island…"

I cut him off. “No promises, Richard."

He nodded.

As if we had talked her up, Sal began to speak to everyone. "Reminders, all! Keep the lantern use to a minimum. I'm sure you are all aware of the temperature in here. The added heat will only make it worse. We are in for a long night. If anything occurs, we'll give out immediate instructions. It is important to remain calm."

There were grumblings around us.

"Blessings for an uneventful evening." Nature whipped rain and wind against the longhouse in response to Sal's final statement. I could hear Keaty say a quick prayer in his corner.

"I guess my curfew is up." Richard brushed his lips to mine and whispered, "Unless I could bunk with you tonight?" He stared into my eyes and I felt the heat rise in me again.

"That would be the opposite of cooling us down." I smiled and kissed him softly in return as the lanterns started to go off one by one around us.

"As you wish." His grip released my hand. He got up and frowned in my direction before walking to his side of the hut. He dropped off the batteries to Keaty who smiled at the gift.

I prepped my spot, stealing glances over in his direction as he did the same. Off went his shirt as he smartly decided the less layers the better. For a brief second, I imagined how his sweaty chest would feel under my fingers as they traced over it. We locked eyes and he smiled. He leaned on his stomach, with his chin resting on his forearms while he stared at me. I turned off my lantern, lying down to watch him. It was another minute before he turned off his own. But, I knew he was still watching me in the shadows. My heart raced, feeling alive again, listening to the rain beat down above us. There was uncertainty ahead. I felt safe knowing those beautiful blue eyes were standing guard bent on protecting me.


	3. Chapter 3

By midnight, the north corner of the longhouse's roof began leaking. Bugs needed two assistants to secure the tarp that had come undone in the wind. Sleeping after that, for those who hadn’t gotten drunk, wasn't on the agenda. Genix had plated some of his pickled herring for the insomniacs to snack on as we waited for the sunrise.

Vera joined me at the table to eat. The sole lantern’s light skipped over everyone’s faces as they crammed together around it to feast. She mumbled at me concernedly. "Anything else we should prepare for?"

"Do you have everything of value wrapped in plastic?" I smiled already knowing the answer from my OCD friend.

"Of course."

"Then you are all set if the roof caves in."

"Did that happen last time?" Vera's eyes widened.

I nodded and shoveled some herring in my mouth. When I turned back to see the horror on her face I toned down my response. "But, the hut was a lot smaller back then and not well built." I tried again to lower the obvious anxiety she was feeling. "And, Bugs is checking and draining the tarp on the roof every hour. We’ll be OK, V.”

“Daffy would have done a better job easing everyone’s mind.” She commented and then noted the surprise on my face upon hearing someone mention his name in a positive light with a nod. She continued, “Sal thinks she knows what’s best; but, it’s obvious she doesn’t have a clue without him here for guidance.”

I smiled. “Don’t underestimate Sal, Vera. She’s going to do what’s best for us.”

“You mean her.” She huffed. I saw her eyes trail to the other end of the table to land on Richard. Her face softened. “Your man seems to be doing a decent job holding things together, though.” 

I cleared my throat. “I wouldn’t say he’s mine.”

“I don’t know what it is you’ve been afraid of for so long, showing your true self to everyone. It just took the right person to notice you... and then, God help us all.”

I laughed. “Don’t you miss it?”

“What?”

I stared over at Richard. “That?”

She shrugged. “He’s cute… not my type, though. Trust me, when my type arrives on the beach, you’ll know.” She grinned, “Have you…?”

“No.”

“Why the hell not?”

It was my turn to shrug. “Haven’t exactly had time.”

“Sweetie, I know it’s been a while for you; but, it doesn’t take that long.” She nudged me. “I’m sure if you ask him he’ll oblige at any time or location.”

“Well, I’d rather not do it in the middle of the longhouse during a hurricane with the entire community present.”

“Alright, alright. But, when it happens I expect details.” As Vera finished I looked over to see Richard staring at the both of us deep in conversation. “I’m going to try and go back to sleep. If there was ever a time to waste some batteries on my Walkman, this is it.” I smiled at her as she got up and hoped she would get a chance to relax.

As if on cue, Richard was by my side a few seconds later. He sat in Vera’s spot. “Everything OK?” He asked rubbing my forearm.

“Yep. How are you doing?”

He tilted his head unsure. “I asked Bugs if he needed help with anything; but, he just said, ‘We’ve got it’.”

“Hopefully they do.”

“What were you talking to Vera about?” He rested the side of his head in his palm, his elbow propped on the table.

I scooted in close to him so my face was a few inches from his. “You.”

Thunder rumbled above us and he smiled. “I wish we could get out of here.” I just stared at him and grinned back. He continued caressing my forearm. “Why don’t you share my bunk with me for a little while?”

“We’ll generate too much body heat that way.” I whispered as I got closer to him.

“I don’t care. I can’t think of a better way to pass out from heat exhaustion.” He smirked. “I’ll let you play with my Gameboy.” It was my turn to laugh at the innuendo. “Come on. Most of the group is getting ready to play poker anyway,” he pointed to everyone at the table, “and the rest are passed out. Just for a little while.”

My excitement won out. “Ok, but just for a little while.”

His eyes widened at my answer. “Really?”

“If you have to ask me...”

He quickly cut me off, “Ok.” He grabbed my hand and led me back to the sleeping quarters. It was dark enough that we had to be careful not to step on the unconscious inhabitants. When we got to his spot he knelt down and straightened out the sheets. I stood over him, watching, and glanced quickly over my shoulder to Vera’s corner. She had indeed decided to listen to her music. Her eyes were closed, headphones over her ears, and I sighed thankfully.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bunk. I laughed softly at his eagerness. “Here, lie down.” He patted the spot next to where he sat.

“Richard, you know we aren’t going to…”

“I know.” He kissed my lips tenderly. When he broke off, he sighed, “I want to be next to you.” I leaned back and he followed. I felt his breath against my lips. His arm enveloped me and pulled my body close to him.

The bunch at the table started to get a bit rowdy as the betting began. My hand stroked his face and he smiled. He spoke again. “This reminds me of the night we spent on the mainland.”

It took me a beat to recall. “Well, I passed out from pain and pot. So, I don’t remember much.”

He kissed me again after a short laugh. “I couldn’t go to sleep. Lying next to you… listening to you breathe.”

“If things hadn’t turned out the way they had that night, I probably would have…”

His eyebrows rose. “What?” My hand left his face to snake under his arm and pull his body even closer to me. My lips claimed his slowly and passionately. Our hands began to explore each other deliberately over our clothes. His body felt so hot against my skin. I moaned softly into his mouth. He pulled away enough to speak. “If you keep this up…”

I grinned. “I know.” I rocked against him, teasingly, and then rested on my back, breaking from him in an effort to calm us both down.

He leaned against my side to whisper in my ear. “I’ll be good, I promise.” His arm draped over my waist as he snuggled. My eyes closed and I concentrated on his touch and voice. “Stay with me.”

I nodded. His nose nuzzled my ear. The rain came down even harder and the thunder increased. I could feel the sweat bead up on my brow, happy to be next to the cause of it.

I was drifting in and out of sleep for a few hours. It was Sal standing above me that caused my eyes to jerk open. As Richard’s arm still draped over mine, she bent down alongside me. Her voice was low and steady. “The rain has let up a bit. Would you mind checking the food hut?”

I nodded my head as I felt my heart beating frantically. “Sure.”

“And, bring Richard with you.” She was up and gone just as quickly as she had appeared. My body broke from his grip as he continued to sleep heavily. I sat up to scan the dark room. Dawn would be creeping up soon. Everyone, it seemed, had lulled themselves into slumber.

My hand went to Richard’s side as I tried to wake him. His eyes opened dreamily as he took me in through the shadows. I smiled at him before stating, “We get to help out again.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sal wants us to check the rations, make sure everything’s fine.”

He sat up beside me, rubbing his eyes. “K.”

“It should only take about ten minutes. I’ll grab us a couple ponchos.”

We shook the rain off of the ponchos as soon as we made it into the cover of the hut. I felt a slight shiver run through me as I pulled the hood from my head. The deluge had done a decent job of soaking us.

“Let up, my ass.” I lifted the lantern I carried in to rest on the hook by the door. I tore the poncho off and placed it on one of the shelves in a huff.

“What?” Richard did the same with his lantern on the other side. The removal of his poncho had a bit more finesse than mine.

“Sal… she said the rain had let up.” The structure seemed to be in decent condition from my cursory glance. “You should check the tubs of rice.” I motioned over to the left beside him. “There are some towels to wipe off any water that might be on the plastic covering them. I’ll inventory the other stuff.” I grabbed the lantern again and made my way down the right of the hut. Richard took the left as requested.

It had been organized very methodically, as only Unhygenix and his OCD mind could do. Items lined shelves on three of the walls, with a large stack in the middle, creating a U patterned walkway between it all.

“I’m surprised Genix doesn’t sleep in here.” Richard called out from the other side. His voice drifted over the tubs. Lantern light spilled in between spaces into the area I currently occupied. I lifted my own source of illumination back and forth, feeling the supplies as I went along for any moisture. “Why isn’t he doing this, anyway?”

I scanned the floor for puddles. I shrugged to myself, “I guess Sal wants him to relax a bit. Don’t need our only chef to have a breakdown in the middle of all this. Who will filet the fish?” The strong scent of vinegar filled my nose.

As I turned the corner his frame met me. He checked in, “Rice’s fine.” Without asking, he grabbed my lantern and placed it on the floor alongside his own. “There’s some water coming in through the corner; but, I think it’ll hold.” He knelt down and motioned for me to follow his lead.

I inspected the area. “Yeah, it should be OK for now. Maybe have someone come back and check it in a couple hours.”

He sat back on the pallet floor, his back leaning against the rice containers. “Or, we could stay here for a little while longer.” I turned to view the look on his face as he continued, shrugging innocently, “You know, just to make sure.” He nodded at the spot next to him on the ground. “We wouldn’t want anything to happen.”

I nodded and grinned as I sat down next to him. My shoulder pressed against his. “No, we wouldn’t.” His eyes were looking me up and down as he smiled. He leaned in and kissed my shoulder. In one fluid movement his arm wrapped around me and pulled me closer. He covered my lips with his. I felt his fingers bury themselves in my damp hair, massaging my scalp as he held me tightly. It seemed as if he had no plan of letting me go anytime soon. His other hand possessively gripped my waist. He coaxed my mouth open with his and I felt his tongue glide along mine.

His body felt warm and wet as my hands explored the contours of his back. The kisses intensified and my heart fluttered at the sound of his moaning approval.

He broke from me abruptly to question, “How long has it been?”

“Hmmm?”

His breath slowed down. “Since you’ve been with someone?”

I looked into his eyes intently. “Here?”

He laughed softly as his arms cinched even tighter around my waist. “I didn’t plan to take you right here on the floor… as enticing as the smell of pickled herring is.”

I grinned and leaned in to kiss his neck just below an ear. I whispered, “I thought I was enticement enough.”

Another moan escaped from him. “If you insist…” He dipped his face down to catch my lips.

It was my turn to break from him. “You’re right though; this wouldn’t be the best environment to break my vow of celibacy.”

He smiled. “I agree. So, how long?”

I sighed. “I haven’t been with anyone since I came to the island.”

His eyebrows raised in shock. “No one?”

I shook my head. “What would have been the point? I mean, sure I’ve been tempted. But…” He combed my hair back with his fingers. I concentrated on the gesture as I tried to find my words. “What if it wasn’t right or it didn’t work out? There’s no escaping someone here. My mistake would be staring me in the face day in and day out.”

“The couples on the island…”

“It can be wonderful or it can be hell for them… I’ve seen it at its worst with a few of them. And, if there’s infidelity, well… the whole community ends up taking sides. The drama isn’t worth it.” I held his hand as I thought back to a particular moment. “I have a confession to make.”

He bent down and kissed my hand before our fingers intertwined. “What?”

“I heard what you and Francoise were talking about… that night on the beach… when I jumped into the water.” I could tell he was trying to remember. “She told you that she liked you…” I let the words “liked you” trail out with the emphasis of a school girl.

It clicked for him. “Ah. So, that jump had more to do with preventing drama than for your enjoyment.”

I nodded. “There may have been another ulterior motive now that I think about it.”

He kissed me again. “I’m glad you did it.” Another kiss. “So, am I worth the risk?”

“I’d like to think so.”

“Well, when the time is right, I will prove it to you.” He looked a bit disappointed. “Should we head back?”

“Yes; but, I’ll be expecting that time to be right once the rain lets up.”

His grin was all the answer I needed in return.

I’m not sure what tipped me off that something was amiss when we headed to the longhouse. It might have been the weird chill that crept over my neck as Richard knocked on the door. There was never a need to knock; but, there had been resistance on the other side as he pushed to open it. It was probably just instinctual for Richard to knock from his recent societal days. There had only been someone blocking this particular door one other time in the past four years that I could remember.

_I’d missed lunch, having gone to the falls for a swim. Daffy had said he’d meet me after garden detail; but, something must have kept him. I’d rushed to make it back, in the hopes of at least snatching a piece of fruit from the lunch buffet when the longhouse door had refused to acquiesce to my touch. I’d pushed at it a few times, and then…_

Bugs’ face greeted us as the door opened. But, there was no look of welcome. His face looked harder than usual. There was anger in his eyes.

_Bugs opened the door and huffed at me. “Where have you been?” I was about to move roughly by him and ignore the inquiry when I heard Daffy’s tirade._

_We can’t keep doing this, Sal?! The island can only withstand so much!”_

_Nonsense. It’s evolution and progress.” Sal sat calmly at the dining table as Daffy was pacing._

_You’re talking about slashing another acre of trees… for what?! For a few more tents?!”_

_We need the space, Daff…”_

_This sounds like fucking sprawl, Sal… we are turning it into a version of what we were trying to get away from. Are you going to franchise a fucking McDonald’s next?”_

_Everyone was staring at the display. My stomach started flipping. This was happening way too often between Sal and Daffy lately. They weren’t in agreement about anything anymore. He was tired of the suggestions on how we could make the island better. In his mind we needed to leave as little of a footprint as possible._

_Bugs looked at me. “Your friend is going off the deep end…” I saw Sal turn towards my direction._

“Just the ones we were discussing.” Her voice was filled with a faux pleasantry. Richard walked in first. I could tell his radar had gone up immediately as well. He took his poncho off quickly. I hesitated and stepped in to feel Bugs’ glare on my back. As if on protective reflex, Richard grabbed at my hand and pulled me behind him so I would not be close to Bugs.

The air in the longhouse was strange. It was too still with all of the alert eyes on us. I could not remember it ever being this silent with a full and awake community. The clouds outside hid the sun. There was only a dull, gray light streaming in from the open door. Too many lanterns had been lit. This was not a part of the usual plan when we were hunkering down during a storm. This was a meeting.

“Come in you two.” Sal motioned with her hand to the bench beside her. “Have a seat.” I pulled off my poncho with my free hand and dropped it absentmindedly on the floor. Richard glanced back at me. I saw his eyes travel quickly to the open door. It was only a few seconds; but, I could tell he was deciding whether or not we should make a run for it. I squeezed his hand and shook my head subtly. “Everything alright with the supplies?” Sal questioned us and I watched as she nodded to Bugs. He shut the door and resumed his guard duties.

Richard turned back to Sal. “Yep, everything checked out fine.”

“Good. I’m glad we are all on the same page when it comes to doing what’s best for the community.” The tone in her voice changed. “Or, are we, Richard?” She sounded unsure in a very theatrical way. She stood up from the bench and motioned to it again. “Sit.”

Bugs was behind me now and pushed uncomfortably against my back. I focused on Richard’s profile as he looked over in Bugs’ direction. Bugs leaned in to us both and echoed Sal. “Sit.” Richard’s grip tightened as we walked over to the bench. All eyes followed us. The entire community sat on the ground in front of us, one after the other, in a few neat rows. I spotted Vera in the back. Out of everyone’s gaze, hers was the least vacant and held the most anger in it; but, I knew it wasn’t directed towards me. All of that hate had manifested for Sal.

It was when Richard and I sat on the bench that I realized this wasn’t a meeting. It was a trial. One that Sal had quickly put together. My mind reeled. _She’d sent us to the food tent as a ruse to get us out of the longhouse. She couldn’t possibly know about…_

“The map.” Sal stated it flatly. “Anything you forgot to tell us about it, Richard?”

“What?”

“The map.” She stated it again with absolutely no change in her inflection.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sal.”

“Well,” she paced, “Where to start?” She folded her hands in front of her. “I was checking on the weather report late last night over the radio. I decided to use the CB and check in with a friend on the mainland to see how she had fared.”

My eyes widened. I knew who she was referring to immediately. Sal caught my reaction. “Sumet. You know Sumet, don’t you, Beth?”

I nodded.

“Would you remind the rest of those who’ve not had the pleasure of meeting her? How do we know Sumet?” Her demeanor was now of a Kindergarten teacher. She gawked with her head bent in my direction and hands folded, arms at her sides, as she waited patiently for my words.

My face flushed as the eyes watched my response. “Sumet owns the hotel that we usually stay at when we have to go to the mainland for a rice run.”

“Exactly. And, you both stayed there this last time?”

Richard answered for me. “Yes.”

“Anything of interest happen while you were at the hotel?”

Richard shook his head and responded. “Not really.”

“Maybe not for you… maybe you wouldn’t classify it as interesting. What I found of interest when I talked to Sumet was how you really hurt your hand, Beth.” She sat next to me on the bench as she glared. “She said you hurt it while you were at the bar. Some mishap with a pitcher of beer it turns out. But, what was even more interesting… was who you both met at the bar. And, what they had.”

“What did they have?” My heart beat faster as I heard Richard continue his act of ignorance. I tried my best to not back down from Sal’s gaze. Looking away would confirm guilt.

“They had a map, Richard. Apparently, Sumet’s bartender had told her about these two Americans. They were going on and on with you… at the bar… about a map. A map, it turns out, that you had given them. That was right before Beth here hurt her hand.” She did not falter from staring at me the entire time she spoke. It was not until her final question that she looked to him. “Are we still going to play this game, Richard?”

I heard Richard sigh in defeat. My eyes closed as he spoke. “Beth didn’t know anything about the map until that night. She walked in on the conversation I was having with these two guys. I’d met them right before I came to the beach with Francoise and Etienne. If it wasn’t for Beth’s quick thinking… she hurt her hand trying to mess up the map. She dropped the pitcher and got beer and blood all over it. It’s useless now. But, it was my entire fault.”

I opened my eyes and saw the judgment passing over everyone’s faces. Sal exhaled and stood up. She paced back and forth. “Here’s our dilemma,” she began, “and, unfortunately, it’s quite complicated. Our community is at a very delicate crossroads at the moment. Not only are we dealing with having to reassess and possibly rebuild many components of our home after this storm; but, we are faced with an internal threat. One of our own has jeopardized our very existence as a group on this island.”

“Sal, I…” Richard’s voice sounded as if he was pleading.

“Daffy.” Sal looked to Richard and cut him off. My eyes narrowed as I watched her. “Daffy became so lost and confused toward the end of his life. It pains me that he has betrayed all of us by giving you that map to begin with, Richard. What kind of example was that? Of course you must have thought it was fine to extend an invitation, having just been given the keys to it yourself.” I listened to her and tried to make sense of what her end game was. Why were we being put on such display if there was only going to be a slight smack on the hand? I soon realized her sympathy was only being focused on Richard.

“But, Beth…” Sal’s look was filled with accusation when it drifted to me. Richard’s grip had not loosened from my hand the entire time. And, at the sound of her voice stating my name it had tightened. “What were you thinking? Why did you go along with this deception? You, out of everyone here,” she waved her hand dramatically over the audience, “you should have known that the right thing to do immediately was to tell us what happened. So we could deal with this as a group... as a family.”

My mouth opened; but, I knew there would be no sound following it. I closed it quickly and cursed her in my head. I had no excuse, no time to formulate my thoughts. She was making this about Daffy. I was the last real connection left of him on the island. I was the remaining cancer that threatened her idea of utopia.

I stood up and broke from Richard’s grasp. I had to say something. She wanted me to fall back in line and blend into the background as usual. I could feel it. And, it would have been easy to do that. Something I would have done a few months back without question. But, not now. “Daffy was family.” I stated it calmly and held back the fear in my voice as much as I could.

“So, you approve of what he did?” There was a hint of surprise in her face. She was still going to manipulate the situation, however. I knew I had no chance of outstepping her thought process. She was a master chess player.

“I… I don’t approve of it; but, I can understand it.” I searched frantically for Vera’s face. When I found it, there was even more surprise in her expression than Sal’s and a suggestion of a smile. That seemed to give me the courage I needed to continue. “Daffy loved this island, Sal. You know that. He would have done anything to protect it. When he met Richard…” I sighed and looked down to see him smiling slightly back up at me. “I don’t know if he was looking for someone to save us from ourselves since he couldn’t do it; but, he ran out of options in the end. He would have rather died than see us destroy ourselves and our home.”

“And what would you rather do, Beth? Protect yourself or this island?” Sal quipped.

“I’ve never claimed to be a martyr. I am just trying to survive. But, I’ve never… never done anything to intentionally harm anyone here… or our home. Neither has Richard. And, Daffy didn’t either.” My soul felt as if it was floating out of my body as I finished. It was like I was seeing the scene from an outsider’s perspective. It didn’t seem as if I could possibly have been the one who had said that.

Spurred by my show of force I walked over to the door and stood in front of Bugs. He towered over me and examined me as if I was some sort of alien creature he had never laid eyes on before. I whispered to him decisively, “Move.” The flabbergasted countenance only crept over a few inches along with the rest of his body. It was enough for me to get by.

The rain soaked my clothes and skin in seconds when I walked out of the longhouse. My thoughts were a whirlwind. I couldn’t go back inside. Not now. I frantically looked around and tried to decide where to go. His hand caught mine.

“Where are you going?” Richard whipped me around to face him.

I shook my head. “I can’t stay here.”

“Beth…” He tried to grab for my other hand. I pulled away.

“I just need to be by myself.” I broke from him and began to plod through the wet dirt.

His voice was behind me, breaking through the raindrops that pelted around us. “That’s what she wants, Beth, for you to be by yourself.”

“Beth!” I heard Vera’s voice now, a little further in the distance, as I continued walking to increase the space between me and everyone else.

“It’s OK! I’ve got her!” Richard called back to Vera; but, I just kept rambling through the trees. I wasn’t going to turn around. I was sure he’d give up eventually.

The trees finally opened up to the trail that led to the beach clearing. I soon felt sand between my toes as my sandals found it harder to trudge across the expanse. My heart was beating wildly and the water was coming down in sheets now.

I gasped when I felt his arms around my waist. He latched onto me tightly. His lips pressed against my ear as he spoke. Even though he whispered it his words echoed loudly in my head. “Just stop for a second.” My breath snatched in quick gulps for air as I unintentionally swallowed some rainwater in the process. “We don’t have to go back right now.” He continued trying to talk me down. “There’s a spot the Swedes and I go when the weather gets bad to wait it out. We can at least get out of the rain. OK?”

I nodded against his head and suddenly felt exhausted. He let go of my frame long enough to grab my hand and begin leading me through the downpour. Everything around me looked out of focus and filtered through a camera lens. I place a hand over my forehead to shield my face from the rain and followed him to one end of the beach. The beginning of the cliffs had jutted out just enough over a small patch of sand to create the smallest of shelters from the rain. He pulled me into the alcove and sat me down on the wet sand.

My body temperature immediately felt like it was dropping now that the robe of rain had been lifted from me. I watched the curtain of water flow down over the entrance. He sat beside me and wrapped an arm around to rub my side and warm me. I don’t know how much time passed before I spoke.

“You didn’t have to come after me.”

“Of course I did.” We were practically in the dark. Some of the light from the opening shone through enough that I could make out his feet and knees next to me. His lips came up and kissed my forehead. “Where were you going to go?”

“Just away… she didn’t have to bring up Daffy.”

“I know. She’s scared. She saw an opportunity to knock us down a few pegs and took it. It could have been worse.”

“I can’t go back.”

He sighed. “Yes, you can. The theater is over. She’s made her point. I don’t think half of them even give a shit about Sal. She’s like the mayor. As long as someone’s around to make sure things run right, you don’t pay much attention to them unless something’s not working. Give her a podium to blow off some steam every once in a while and she’ll keep on thinking her word is law.”

“You underestimate her, Richard. This isn’t the last time she’ll bring this up.” I leaned my head into the crook of his neck and wrapped my arm around his stomach.

“And you give her too much power.” His chin rested on the top of my head. “Just stop thinking so much.”

I smiled at the ridiculous command. “OK.”

“When the rain lets up we’ll head back.” He laughed at my groan. “Well, we can’t stay in here and wait out the storm.”

“Why not?”

“I definitely enjoy your company in here over Olaf’s; but, it’s just not spacious enough for me.” I saw his hand lean over and touch the opposite wall. “It’s kind of creepy; like a crypt.” He rubbed my side again and brought his other hand back around to swaddle me. “And, it’s cold.”

“That lookout spot you showed me would be a good place to camp out.”

“I guess it might be, if it wasn’t raining.” He was rubbing my knee now. “Are you already coming up with an escape plan?”

I shrugged into his chest. “Daffy talked about starting over somewhere new on the island a lot.”

“Yeah; but, the farmers…”

“I know.” The pot farmers on the other side of the island had made their demands of us quite clear a few years back. We pretend not to exist; keep to our side; leave their crop alone; and, they would allow us to stay. Encroaching any further into the center of the island was too risky for anyone from the community.

“When we first came to the island we ended up smack dab in the middle of their farm and almost got killed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

I held onto him tighter. “You didn’t have the proper escort when you arrived.”

“How did you first get to the island?”

“I told you, Daffy brought me.”

“But, I mean, was it by boat and then under the cliffs?

I knew he was trying to get my mind off of the events of earlier. I played along with him. “Bugs and Daffy hadn’t finished engineering everything for the cavern at that point. We used to have a little makeshift pier about a two hour hike east of the beach.”

“I’d rather do that than the swim.”

“But, there was no easy way to bring back supplies. We had to make a ton more trips to the mainland that way.” He seemed satisfied with my explanation. There was quiet again. I felt him shiver against me a few times. “You are suffering because of me right now.”

“I’d hardly call this suffering.” After that remark his hand glided up from my knee to the side of my thigh. The skin contact that he had initially made to help warm me had a slower, more deliberate feel now. “I’ll run away with you any time.”

I was thankful of the effect he was having on my body as he heated me up from the inside out. “Well, if the food tent wasn’t the right place I hardly think this coffin is either.”

He kissed my forehead. “I should have jumped at the opportunity before, then.”

We listened to the rain for a while. “This’ll pass, Beth, just like the storm.”

“I just… I just can’t lose anything else. This place… this life… it’s all I have.”

“What brought you here?”

My voice hesitated. I had not wanted to tell him before; but, things had changed so drastically in such a short amount of time. Something inside gave me permission to open myself to him. I could trust him.

He spoke again to try and coax me. “You said your boyfriend had cheated on you?”

“It’s not quite as simple as that.” I took a deep breath. “Daffy was the only one who knew the whole story.”

“You can tell me.”

“His name was Michele. He was an absolute charmer. I’d met him when I was a senior in high school. He was 21. I went to an all-girls school in Mass… Montrose. I kept to myself, didn’t get out much. And, then I met Michele. Everything changed.

“I had barely scraped through my final semester of school after I met him. I couldn’t think about anything but him. He was… he was everything to me. And, he talked about all of these plans. We were going to travel the world. He was going to show me the little town in France where he grew up. I finished school and we were gone.”

“Where’d you go?” He held me close as he listened.

“Mexico first. Then South America… Brazil for a while. It was amazing. He took care of all of it and me. I didn’t ask the important questions… looking back now, I should have… like how were we able to live the way that we were without him having any semblance of an actual job. Who those friends were that always had to pull him away and talk to him in private. What those late night meetings were really about that went on until morning. I didn’t ask because I really didn’t want to know the truth.”

“He was a dealer?”

I nodded. “We were about a year into traveling when things started to get out of control. It was like he exploded when we got to Europe. Things were moving quicker and faster. There was more money, more acquaintances, and more trouble. He was using more himself, too.”

“What?”

“It would be easier to tell you what he wasn’t using. A deal went bad in France. All of a sudden we had to leave. He decided on Thailand. We were there for another year before he started needing me to help with transactions. I was his mule. I got the drugs from point A to point B… got the money from the buyer and then traveled back to point A. It worked out for a while…”

“What happened?”

“I got stopped in customs on my way back to Thailand. There was no way I could account for the hundred grand and the pot in my bag. They arrested me. I spent a night in jail before Daffy bailed me out.”

“Daffy?”

“Yeah… I had met Daffy through Michele… one of his acquaintances. Remember, we have some of the best pot around on this island. Daffy was known very well by Michele and his buddies when he visited the mainland. Michele couldn’t risk bailing me out, so he asked Daffy to do it. Paid him a nice amount for his time and effort, too. Anyway, by the time Daffy got me back to the house, Michele was gone. No note, no forwarding address. So, there I was, alone in Thailand getting ready to go to trial for drug trafficking.”

“Shit.” He whispered.

“That was when Daffy offered to take me to the beach. I was 21. What was I going to do? I couldn’t even imagine going back home. Of course I went with him. That’s what I do best… run away.”

“Maybe then; but, not now.” Richard’s voice was low. I sensed some encouragement in it.

I pointed toward the beach. “What would you call what I just did back there?”

“You stood up for someone that meant a lot to you.”

My mind went back to Daffy. “I can’t go back to the real world, Richard. There’s nothing for me back there.”

“I don’t understand,” Richard shook his head. “Why would you even go back with Daffy for the rice runs? That seems crazy.”

“Well, we’d keep to a small area when I went with him - you saw for yourself how offline that part is that we visited - and the ones in charge are usually easy to pay off in Wonderland.” Richard gave me a confused look. “Daffy’s name for the town. It’s not in the busy, touristy part of Thailand. Some of the officials there are our best clients. Plus, I think the not too swift cops are still looking for a platinum blonde. My natural hair color grew back in a long time ago.”

He smiled, “I can’t see you as a blonde.”

“It was one of Michele’s things. Loud clothes, loud cars, loud friends. He said standing out was the easiest way to garner the least amount of suspicion. No one would think you were up to something if you had that much attention on you all the time. If you exuded confidence, you could get away with anything. Anyway, I felt safe with Daffy when we’d go. He had my back.” I sighed as I contemplated my next thought and whether to voice it aloud. “Richard…”

“Yeah?”

“You know, there’s a chance… a small one… that they’ll kick us out of the community.” His eyes narrowed at my words. “No one talked about Daffy when you asked because that’s what they did to him. He was dead to pretty much everyone after they voted him out.”

I could sense a change in him. His frame became rigid. “It didn’t seem like Sal…”

“Sal knows exactly what she’s doing. The idea can’t come directly from her. She’ll play the sympathy card in front of everyone and wait for the group to start talking about this amongst themselves. If they have a problem with us and what we did, they’ll go to Sal. That’s what she did to Daffy.”

He shook his head defiantly. “I think we have enough friends here. That won’t happen.”

I shrugged. “Something to keep in mind.”

“I’m sorry.”

I lifted my head in confusion. “For what?”

“It’s not right of me to brush aside your instincts on all of this. You’ve been around Sal a lot longer than I have. That must have happened to you often growing up… not being listened to.” My mouth opened in surprise. He cut me off again, “Shit, I need to stop asking about your past. I know it was hard opening up like you did. Thank you.”

I shook my head. “Who are you? It’s like God’s been listening to everything I’ve wanted in a guy and finally delivered you to me. I’m surprised you didn’t come by stork wearing a cute little diaper.”

He laughed. His smile was immediately illuminated and we both turned to the cavernous opening. The rain had stopped, almost instantly, and the sun’s rays were filling up our hideaway. “What do you want to do? We can stay here a bit longer or head back.”

My heart was racing again. “I know what I should do.”

He kissed me sweetly. “Whatever you want. I’m with you.”

Sulking back to the group with my tail between my legs wasn’t as painful as anticipated. The break in the weather had ushered a mass exodus from the longhouse. The cautious glances and stares that I expected were still there; but, I didn’t have to face them all at once. It was groups or individuals at random that were too self-involved, enjoying the reprieve from the storm. And, surprisingly, from some of the acknowledgements I received there were even a few smiles. A quiet “way to go” from Vera lifted my spirits the most. Richard was by my side for the entire walk back.

Sal, along with Bugs, flanked the entrance to the longhouse. They didn’t serve as a barricade. It was more like two sentinels inspecting us with a quiet aloofness. Richard and I said nothing as we headed back inside. The room was a bit brighter now and definitely felt lighter with emotion. I hurriedly went over to my bunk and began searching.

Richard peeked over his shoulder to make sure no one was paying particular attention to me before he asked, “What are you doing?”

“Checking. If stuff was taken or rummaged through it wouldn’t be a good sign. You should look, too.”

He nodded and walked over to his spot. Things looked in place from what I could remember. I opened my cigar box. The one thing I was very concerned about was still there. I sighed and decided to keep it with me on my person from now on. It was tucked in my short pocket.

“All good.” He joined me and sat down. “Let’s give it a couple days to settle down. Things will be OK.” His hand gripped my shoulder.

I smiled halfheartedly. “Storm’s not over yet.”

“But, I think the worst of it may have passed.” He smiled.

Richard had talked me into sleeping beside him for the second night of the storm. Things were edgy in the house; but, I had surmised more of that was still due to the weather than the map mess. There were no other major repairs requiring attention during the night.

Sleep for me, however, would not come easily. My eyes and ears were on high alert. I lay on my side. Richard slept behind me with his back against the wall. He noted to me earlier that it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to pre-empt anyone’s ability to sneak up on him in the dark. He had somehow found a way to sleep. His breath had established a steady rhythm. I listened to it along with the continuous rain.

My mind returned again and again to the thought of being voted out of the community. I would not be privy to the curt comments and leading questions from Sal. She would save those for everyone else. The same way she had with Daffy. I had been in the dark that time as well. In the end, he was the one who had prepared me for the decision that was to be made by the majority.

_“Good job.” He had come to see me at the garden. My basket was filled with eggplant and long beans._

_I wiped my brow and greeted him with a smile. For some reason, it was not returned as easily as usual. “Think we can talk Hygenix into some eggplant parmesan?” I snickered at my joke; but, how I did miss Italian food._

_He ignored the lightness in my mood. “Beth…”_

_My hands went to my hips as I stood before him. “What is it now? What did Sal do?”_

_He shook his head. “Listen, I need you to do something for me.”_

_“What?”_

_“I need you to promise me you won’t let them kill this place.”_

_I sighed and tried to prepare myself for another one of his rants. “Daffy, no one’s going to destroy this place… not with you guarding it.”_

_“I’m not going to be here, Beth.”_

_My eyes widened. This was not a part of his usual monologue. “What are you talking about?”_

_“Just…” His small, muscular frame seemed to retract into itself, “I won’t be here forever.”_

_I shrugged my shoulders. “None of us will.”_

_“But, you, you need to remember your job as the lookout for the island.”_

_“I’m your lookout, Daffy.”_

_“Just remember your place. Don’t let anyone make you feel you don’t have an important place in all of this.” I nodded to him. He walked closer to me. His sharp jaw jutted out before he spoke again. “I need you to hold onto something for me, for safekeeping.”_

_“Alright.” I took off my gloves as he fished into one of his pockets. “What is it?”_

_He presented me with a tarnished key. “You still remember how to get to the old pier?”_

_“Sure.”_

_“As you’re approaching the pier head on, there are three large rocks along the left. Walk around behind them and start digging by the middle one. About a foot down, you’ll find a lockbox.” He placed the key in my hand. “If you ever feel the way I am now, I want you to go there and dig it up.”_

_“Daffy…” I shook my head in confusion, “No one ever knows how you are feeling.”_

_It was the first smile I got out of him. “Hopeless. That’s what I’m feeling right now. And, unsure.”_

_“Alright. Then what do I do after I dig it up?”_

_“Decide.” His Scottish accent paid a particularly sharp emphasis on the first syllable._

My eyes opened. Daffy’s command was still ringing in my head. I felt the key in my pocket. Whether or not I wanted to, I realized it was getting closer to decision time.

I sighed as I guessed I had only dozed off for a few minutes at most. Careful not to wake Richard, I readjusted to attempt sleeping on my back. His head immediately found its way onto my shoulder. I tried to push away the worries that were overrunning my brain. I concentrated on the truth slumbering beside me.

“Restless?” I heard him whisper against my skin.

“Yeah. Sorry, tried not to wake you.”

His arm snaked across my stomach to grip me tightly. “You were talking in your sleep earlier.”

My face twisted in disgust. “I did that a lot as a kid. At least my sister always woke me up to tell me I was. What was I saying?”

“Nothing I could really make out. You said ‘Daffy’ a few times, though.”

“Would you go on a little excursion with me… when things calm down?”

“Of course.” His lips kissed my chin. “Another exciting adventure, huh?”

“I seem to have an unlimited supply of them lately.”

“How often did you have to do this before the pulley?” Richard trudged behind me in the mud.

“Daffy would go back to the mainland every month.” I was slashing the overgrown branches as I led the way. By the foliage development I guessed no one had been this way, or bothered to clear it, since Daffy had been on the island. “Luckily, he got the system up and running by the cliffs not long after I got here.” I could hear Richard’s deep and ragged breath. “Not much farther.”

The rains had subsided not even a week before I talked him into going back to the pier with me. There was an urgency building within. Even though the community showed no signs of extricating us like a couple of rotten molars, things were unsettled in my mind.

The hard part was finding a way for Richard and me to get away without arousing suspicion. Being a new “couple” on the island would have usually been enough to brush off our disappearing for hours on end. The dramatic prosecution by Sal - and Richard’s admission of guilt - made nothing we did alone easily dismissible as simply a result of passion.

The opportunity presented itself when I overheard Bugs discussing a visit to the pulley with Keaty the night before. They were going to do some maintenance after the storm early the following morning. I knew that Sal would be busy barking orders to those making repairs to Bugs’ bridge which had sustained some minimal damage. Bugs’ baby would need supervision as it was fixed. She would not trust anyone else with the overseeing of that task.

Vera had agreed to take over my garden detail while I ran off with Richard. As far as she knew, we were finally going to seal the relationship with some overdue intimacy. Richard complained of some stomach pain to the Swedes that got him out of fishing. He came and got me in the garden as soon as Bugs and Keaty headed for the cliffs and we were off. We had to stay mindful, though, and keep the trip around five hours at most. If we were both missing around lunch and neither one of us were found where we should be, it would be another instance Sal could use to her advantage.

“How are we doing on time?” I sputtered the question out after a wet bunch of leaves smacked me in the face.

“Uh,” I was glad Richard had a wristwatch that still worked, “looks to be almost two hours since we left.”

“That’s good.” I stopped for a minute and surveyed the area. I was almost positive we only had a hundred yards or so before we’d be there. “I think we need to stop at the falls on the way back. I should have realized how messy this was going to be.”

“I’m gaining more and more respect for Daffy.” I turned at his comment to see him splattered with mud from the waist down. He raised his arms up as he held his makeshift walking stick. I chuckled, noting how my attire now closely matched his. “And, for you… not that I didn’t have a ton for you already.”

I nodded and smiled, “Good save.”

I had never been so happy to see the pier. The sun welcomed us as we parted through the trees into the small expanse of sand. The weather had definitely assisted in the lush green coloring that surrounded the area. So many memories flooded back as I looked over the somewhat secret place that only Daffy and I had shared. I learned a lot about the island and how to survive from him here. It was no wonder I didn’t want to come back right after he left.

Richard grabbed my hand. “You OK?”

I nodded and realized my eyes had teared up. “Yeah. We don’t have time for sentimentality.” I wiped my face with the back of a hand.

He smiled at me. “Where did he say we needed to look?”

I pointed to the rocks. “Behind there.”

He let go and walked over to the three boulders that had been neatly ordered by height. I remembered back to the day Daffy had done that. It had been a few weeks after I had come to the island. Richard looked over to me and pulled the small shovel from his belt. “Anywhere in particular?” I noted the eager expression on his face. It was obvious the unexpected treasure awaiting was the cause.

“Middle one.” My feet were willed to move by my brain as soon as he disappeared from view and began digging.

I came to stand beside where he knelt. He stared up at me to stop momentarily. “You should probably keep watch… just in case.”

I hopped up onto the middle boulder and sat positioning myself for the best view from where we had come. I talked while he worked as I surveyed the land. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been very adamant about learning a lot about me; but, you haven’t told me much about your life before the island.”

“Well,” he tapped my bottom with the shovel, causing me to turn and look down at him before he continued, “you haven’t asked.” He smirked at my slight irritation.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ve never been one to pry.”

“Ah, but I am?” He nodded and brought his hands and tool once again to the dirt. “Or, maybe it’s just I am more interested in you than you are in me.”

I shook my head. “I go with the ‘you being nosier than me’ idea.” A couple birds were having some sort of disagreement in the trees off to the left. Leaves were falling at a fast pace from the spot where the loud chirping had originated.

He laughed. “So, if you aren’t as nosy as me… why do you want to know about my past?”

“Because I really like what I’ve seen of you here on the island. And, I want to know where all of that began.”

“Then I will gladly submit to 20 questions after we get back to the beach.” We both gawked at the hole Richard had created after we heard his shovel hit metal. He fervently cleared the dirt out from around the edges of the box. He grasped the handle and pulled with a few hefty tugs. Released from the shallow grave, it rested on the ground waiting. “Do you want to do the honors?”

Once I jumped off the rock my hand brought the key out from my pocket. He stood up and took my watch spot while occasionally glancing back down at me. Kneeling by the rusted brown lockbox, I breathed in deeply. It was time for the unveiling and to find out what might be the solution to my uncertainty.

The key fit easily and with a quick turn the lid was freed. I flipped it open and found a few of Daffy’s bandanas neatly folded on the top. That had been his one and only fashion statement. It was hardly a surprise to find half a dozen of them. As I peeled them up one by one the items stashed below were revealed.

“Jesus.” I expressed the one word flatly. I looked up to see Richard’s eyes widen like saucers.

“Holy shit… how much is it?”

I grabbed at the bahts. “I have no idea. But,” I pulled out a few handfuls and looked at the denominations, “they’re large bills; all 1000s from the looks of it.” I passed some over to him and continued to search through the box. “Oh… and, there’s this.” I lifted up the gun to study it.

“Whoa! Hold on, is it loaded?” I shrugged ignorantly at his question. He carefully put his hand over my own that gripped the gun’s handle. “Trade ya?” He passed the currency back to my free hand as he pried the weapon delicately away.

“Do you know what kind it is?”

“9 MM. You don’t know how to shoot one of these?”

I shook my head.

“Well, let’s check the magazine.” To my amazement, he deftly inspected the gun. Parts were removed with some left out and others slid quickly back into place. “Empty. Any bullets in there?” He nodded over to the box. I pushed the cash this way and that. There were a handful of bullets rolling loosely at the bottom. “Would you hand them to me?” One by one I watched as he used his thumb to insert the bullets into the magazine. “You push this back in,” He inserted the magazine back into the gun, “then you slide this part,” placing his palm over the top with a swift back and forth motion, “and, it’s loaded.” He held the gun out at arm’s length and took aim at nothing in particular. I’d never been one for gunplay; but, damn, if that wasn’t the sexiest thing I had seen in forever. “We’ll just make sure the safety is on from here on out. And, to answer one of your 20 questions, my dad taught me about guns. I learned to shoot when I was twelve.”

I nodded after being lost for a second in my own Bonnie and Clyde thoughts. “What should we do with it?”

“Well, I could hold onto it… if it would make you feel safer.”

“I don’t know if a gun would make me feel safer; but, knowing you have it means it doesn’t get into someone else’s hands.”

He nodded in agreement.

“And, you can take some of this money and stash it somewhere else. I’ve never been keen on the idea of keeping all of your eggs in one basket.” I started to neatly stack the paper.

“You know, there’s probably enough money to get far away from here…”

“Yep.”

“This is doing nothing to help you decide, is it, Beth?”

“Not really. But, maybe that’s what I need right now.”

“What?”

“Knowing there are options.”

Daffy always was an inherently deft climber. I could never do it with much grace. I grunted and clumsily grasped at the trunk of the fruit tree as I took my time to decide where next to place my foot.

Normally, I wouldn’t go to so much trouble. It was Richard that spurred me to take the ascent. He hadn’t asked me himself. It was his comment about missing dessert after dinner the previous evening. That had reminded me of the few trees beside our garden that might satisfy his sweet tooth. I also wanted to do something special for him. He had been my partner in crime the day before with the trek to the pier. I felt the need to show my appreciation in some way.

I had first been introduced to the fruit by Daffy. It wasn’t much to look at, the sapodilla, with its brown scruffy skin and only about the size of a baseball. But, the inside flesh had an incredibly sweet, almost brown sugar taste. I knew Unhygenix would be able to make something wonderful with it. I imagined feasting on a faux Bananas Foster with Richard under the night sky. A romantic dinner could lead to many more enjoyable moments.

My daydreaming took me out of the present. I slipped an inch and grabbed tighter to the branch. _Won’t be feeding Richard anything if I’m in a coma._ Once I steadied myself, I opened the satchel that was slung over my shoulder. A couple dozen would be enough for everyone I guessed. I tested one fruit, tugging to release it from its stem, and inspected to see if any juice had escaped. It passed my checklist and was placed in the bag.

The harvest complete a few minutes later, I closed the bag. I peered out over the branches to the landscape. The high view gave me a chance to appreciate the beauty of the land from a different perspective. The tops of the trees were sweeping in a rhythmic wave as the winds passed over them.

My ears tuned to the sound of footsteps beneath me. I was about to call out, assuming Vera was checking in with me. I silenced myself when I saw the rifle that was being carried by the person below. My heart beat against my chest rapidly. _A_ _farmer? Why here, in our area?_ I froze watching his movements. The top of his head, wrapped in a red checkered bandana, moved from side to side looking over the garden. He took a step into the vegetables, then stopped. It felt like forever as I stared at him, willing myself not to move, feeling my arms begin to get heavier each second that passed as they held up my weight. I was fearful of his reaction if he looked up and was suddenly surprised by a person suspended in the trees. Another minute ticked by at a painfully slow and agonizing pace. It was the sound of people approaching and talking from the other end of the garden that got him moving. I turned to watch as he retreated quickly. He wasn’t planning on an ambush. He was in too much of a hurry to leave.

“You should have told me about this earlier.” Richard looked worry as he held the side of my face.

“And ruin dessert?” I tried to lighten the mood; but, there was no way of turning it around at the moment.

“You can’t do garden detail on your own anymore. There always has to be someone with you.” He forced my head up with his hand so I had to look him in the eye.

I sighed, “I know. That’s always been my time, though.” His gaze was stern. I reassured him, “I’ve got it. Not by myself.”

“Do you really think it was an accident? He stumbled onto our area?”

His grip had softened. He absentmindedly stroked my cheek with his thumb, making it hard for me to focus on anything else but his touch. The last thing I wanted to do right then and there was talk about the farmers. “It seemed that way. Daffy had taken me to their side of the island once as a teaching lesson. When they are on duty or looking for something there’s no way to confuse that with happenstance.”

“Well, still… no more solo.”

“Yes, sir.”

He grinned. “Come here.” His hand left my face to pat a spot on the blanket a couple feet closer to where he sat. I grabbed the two plates that recently held our desserts and caused a barrier between us. They were placed off to the side.

“Remind me to wash these off before we head back or Genix will never let me borrow anything again.” I willingly obliged his request and cuddled up next to him. We had skipped out right after dinner and hurried to what I considered our “spot” on the beach – The cluster of small cliffs smack dab in the middle of the sand, where I had sacrificed myself months ago and dove into the water to save Richard’s virtue from Francoise.

His arm pulled me even closer as we leaned back on the rocks and stared up at the night sky. “I think you earned some brownie points with everyone tonight, finding that fruit.” His voice traveled up and over us.

“I didn’t even mind helping in the mess tent to put that together. I’m a horrible cook, by the way.”

He laughed. “I guess we’d starve if we had to rely on either of us where following a recipe is concerned then.”

I turned to look at him. “That reminds me.”

“Hmmm.” He met my gaze.

“You said you’d answer some questions for me the other day… before we got distracted by all that treasure.” I placed a hand on his thigh just above his knee.

He glanced down to my hand and looked back at me quickly after a slight lick of his lips. “I did, didn’t I?” I nodded. He fired back, “Shoot.”

“Ok… favorite color?”

“Green.”

“Did you go to public or private school when you were little?”

“Public.”

“Community college or university?”

“You’re assuming I went.”

“Didn’t you?”

“Yep.” He grinned. “University. UCLA.”

“What’d you study?”

“Business.”

“Why?”

“Why did I major in Business? Because that’s what dad wanted. Didn’t finish, though.”

“Elaborate, please.” I inched up a little further on his thigh.

His eyes widened. “Well, I guess I was tired of pretending that I wanted to follow in his footsteps. He was… is… the president of an insurance firm. It was expected that I’d get a job there and work for him.”

“What did you want to do instead?”

“Anything but that.” His lips met mine softly after the statement. “Do you still want to ask me more questions?”

I shook my head. His mouth pushed against mine as he leaned his body into me. Before I knew what happened he had me pinned beneath him. His skin radiated heat as our limbs tangled around each other.

He whispered against my neck. “I could just have my way with you right now, couldn’t I?” My mind reeled at the thought as he planted little kisses on my skin. His hand made his way between my thighs. I felt his fingers work at the button on my shorts. Another whisper emerged. “Shit.” He groaned with disappointment.

I grabbed his face with both hands and looked at him. “What?”

He sighed. “I didn’t bring anything. I’d have to go back to the longhouse.”

“Well, there are other things we could do, you know? If you are lucky, you might even get to third base.” I kissed him eagerly.

He grinned in anticipation. The rest of the night was spent getting to know each other better without the need for questions. We made our way back from the beach as dawn began to break. He held me tightly in his embrace outside of the longhouse.

“You should go in first. I’ll wait a bit.” He whispered before nodding at the door.

I smiled up at him and felt the glow he had helped create deep within me penetrating through my skin. If I looked into a mirror I was sure my face would be a glimmering golden color. “Do you really think no one will figure out what we’ve been up to?”

He shrugged and kissed my nose. “We can at least try to be discreet.”

“I had a nice time tonight.” The sides of my mouth curled up even higher.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” His eyes narrowed before he broke out in a huge smile.

“Next time…” I kissed his chin.

He leaned back to inspect me. “There’s going to be a next time?”

I grabbed him at the waist and pulled him back in as I continued. “Next time, I will bring some backup in case you forget.”

His lips covered mine before he whispered, “You won’t have to worry about me forgetting that ever again. I swear.”

I had barely sat down on my bunk when Vera slinked over and joined me. “Where have you been?” She smirked.

I could only smile in return.

“You did?” She asked in eager anticipation.

“Well, not entirely. But… V,” I sighed, “it was amazing.”

She shook her head and laughed quietly in an attempt not to disturb the sleeping inhabitants around us. “It sounds like he took proper care of you.”

I nodded. The glow was flooding over me again. I glanced over at the entrance. He would be sneaking in any moment.

“I want details later.” She gave me a quick pat on the head before she returned to her cot. The day was beginning for a few. I heard the rustling of bodies. Limbs began to stretch in an effort to assist in the awakening.

Five minutes passed and Richard had yet to appear. A majority of the group had risen by that time. There was no longer the worry of suspicion as to what we had been doing out together all night; but, worry began to creep inside me. I had tried to look busy, tidying my spot, as my eyes kept darting to the doorway.

I exhaled what I realized must have been long-held breath when his visage materialized. His countenance had changed since I had left him. His face looked far more serious than I hoped it would be.

Those beautiful blue eyes locked with mine for a brief second. Just as quickly, they traveled to his bunk. He made small chit chat with Vicki as I watched him inspect his area. His facade at normalcy was working for everyone around him but me. I had a suspicion he was taking inventory. There was a brief flood of relief that washed over his face. He looked to me and nodded with a slight smile.

I would not find out then and there whatever it was that had gotten him worried. Sal piped up, “Everyone, just a quick announcement.”

Only a few were bold enough to groan at her request, Vera being one. Sal stood stoically in the middle of the longhouse and began her speech. “I want to thank everyone for their work over the past two weeks. Rallying together has gotten us to a good spot in terms of rebuilding. We are still in need of a few supplies. Richard has agreed to accompany me back to the mainland to purchase what we need.”

I looked over to Richard as he bowed his head in confirmation. The delay of his return now made sense; but, it only brought more questions.

“Three days, really?” I was trying my best to humor Keaty as he went on about his favorite topic. I had been more stringent enforcing garden detail since the unexpected visit by the farmer. Keaty was the most amicable and keen on the job. If only the conversation could be more interesting.

“Yep. One of the longest games I’d ever seen. I tell you, love, watching cricket played in Marylebone is like a spiritual awakening.”

“And, that’s in London?” We were picking out weeds. I wanted to pick Keaty’s brain clean of any remnants of cricket information after he had been going on a half-hour about it. The irritability he was inadvertently causing was at least keeping my mind off the thought of Richard and his impending trip. I had not had a chance to talk to him about the proclamation, or anything, since that morning. After Sal’s speech, he hastily left to fish.

Keaty stopped and stood up. “Alright, what’s up?”

I looked up at him from my kneeling position. “What do you mean?”

“You have never been this interested in cricket before. What’s really on your mind?” He knowingly grinned at me. “It’s Richard going with Sal, isn’t it?”

“Yes. But, really, Keaty, I don’t mind hearing about it.”

He laughed. “You are one of the sweetest, Beth; but, don’t try to diddle me. Tolerating it is a better definition.” His ebony complexion was glistening in the sun from the sweat our work had produced. “It’s a miracle you haven’t clocked me over the head to shut me up.”

“Well, you do like to waffle on about it.”

He nodded after my comment, pleased to hear me use some British slang appropriately. “Props for paying attention. But give, what’s the worry?”

“What’s not to worry about? Richard going away with Sal is a bad idea no matter which way you look at it. Especially after everything that’s happened.”

His face turned serious. “I know what Sal did - making an example out of the both of you - gutted you for a while, love. But, that’s all it was. Sal would do a piss poor job of running this place if she didn’t have cronies like you and Richard to keep things on an even keel for the rest of us. We all know that.”

I smiled half-heartedly. “You do an amazing job, too.”

He shrugged. “I take orders well, that’s about it. We don’t all know the island like you do. Or like Daffy did before he went all wonky.”

“I still don’t trust her.”

“Try not to let it eat you up. He’ll be gone and back before you know it.” We both turned at the same time to see Richard in the clearing. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear!”

Richard looked over to Keaty in comical confusion. “You two were talking about me?”

“We were, mate. And, I believe this little lady needs to talk to you in private. I’m off for a Jimmy. Be back in a bit. No rumpy pumpy!”

Richard shook his hand as he teased, “What language are you speaking anyway?

“Well, it’s not the Queen’s English, that’s for certain.” Keaty pointed to me with a smile before leaving for his pee break.

Richard strode over and knelt down next to me so we were at eye level. “So?” He leaned in to give me a kiss. “I have a feeling I know what you were discussing.”

“What did she say?”

He sighed. “Pretty much what she said. She needs someone to assist her. She mentioned how doing this job with her would demonstrate my loyalty to the community in a very concrete way.

“Your loyalty?”

He nodded. “Her words, not mine.”

“She’s up to something.”

His hand caressed my shoulder. “It’s going to be fine. I checked my stuff… no one’s come across the things we found.”

I whispered. “You should bring the gun with you.”

He eyed me in shock. “Beth, she’s not going to…”

I stated calmly, “It’s better if it stays with you then leaving it behind here unattended… or even with me. Just in case.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.” My eyes pleaded with him before he gave in. I’ll think about it, OK?”

“OK.”

“I had a really nice time last night.” He had quickly changed gears and caused me to laugh. He kissed me sweetly again. “Is ‘rumpy pumpy’ what I think it is?”

“You can ask Keaty when he gets back for confirmation.”

“Maybe we can finally have a little rumpy pumpy, then, when I get back from the trip.” He smirked.

My eyes were downcast. “So, you are off early tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I share your bunk tonight?”

The lopsided smile formed and my heart skipped. “Thought you’d never ask.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sal brushed past my shoulder as I stood by the beach clearing. Our communications had been brief and limited since the trial, which suited me fine. She tried to hold the air of being above me and in charge around what I’m sure she considered her minions. Yet, weirdly, she allowed me to do what I pleased when it came to my duties behind the scenes. There hadn’t been any of the typical follow up on what I was doing and how things were going. Maybe Keaty was on to something about how much she needed me, even if it was begrudgingly.

“No need to worry, Beth.” She stood like an elder Peter Pan statue on the beach with her back to me. The sunrise before us haloed her darkened figure. “We’ll be back in a day. You and Richard can resume right where you left off.”

I didn’t bother to reply and she presented little effort in waiting for one as she marched off to the water’s edge. I gasped slightly as I felt arms wrap around my waist. “You didn’t wake me up?” His voice was even and cool as it skirted around my lobe.

“You’re a big boy. You don’t need me to do that for you.” I unsuccessfully tried not to sound irritated about him leaving. I knew he had no say in the matter; but, my feelings still bubbled to the surface.

“Or, you wanted me to miss the departure.” He kissed my shoulder.

I shrugged. “Can’t stop you even if I wanted to.”

“You don’t want to?” My earlobe was receiving attention from his lips now.

He had stirred a new reaction within me. “Be careful.”

“Of course.”

“She has to know how easy it would be to shimmy down using the pulley. There’s no way Bugs didn’t tell her.” More annoyance colored my voice.

“It’s her way of being right, Beth.”

“But, it’s more dangerous under the cliffs.”

He turned me around at my waist with his hands. His eyes were searching mine. “Why are we talking about Sal when you should be giving me a proper send off?” He smiled softly at me. “Don’t look so upset.”

“I’d understand, you know.”

His eyebrows were turned down in defeat. “Understand what?”

“If you didn’t come back.” I regretted saying the words as soon as they left my mouth.

He looked hurt for a brief moment. “You don’t want me to come back?”

“Of course I do… I only meant… everything we are dealing with… me… Sal… this isn’t what you were looking for when you first came to the island.”

He held my face in his hands and leaned in. “You aren’t what I was searching for; but, I’m glad we found each other.” Our foreheads pressed against each other. “Hold onto that, OK?”

My arms wound tightly around his back. “OK. I’ll try.”

His lips covered mine gently. He sighed in an unsettled fashion after we kissed. “I should get going.”

I couldn’t speak. Opening up my mouth would release an uncontrollable sob. It was struggling to break through at the base of my throat. I wouldn’t let those emotions out. I only nodded and forced a small smile.

He nodded in return and walk over the sand to meet Sal. His figure became smaller and smaller until he stopped at the water line. She waded in first a few feet and then dove into the lagoon. Although I couldn’t make out his face, I saw him turn back to me once with his hand raised above his head. I extended a slight wave and then he disappeared into the water.

I stood there, frozen, and watched them paddle out to the cliffs. It was when they both descended fully into the water and I knew they were swimming under the rocks that the cry came in slow hiccups. There had been more I should have said to him. _What if I never got the chance again?_

“Beth?” My voice gasped as I released another soft yelp. Vera was beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Let it out.” She grabbed my head and leaned it against her neck. “You don’t always have to be the strongest one.” My arms clasped about her waist and I cried even louder.

I slept in his bunk that night. I needed a reminder of him. One of his shirts functioned as my pillow so I could drink in the scent of him. I attempted to drift off.

_"Baby, you know I would not ask you to do it again unless it was really important.” His arm wrapped around my waist tightly. More and more, day by day, the act that I once felt to be so loving and protective was becoming a routine of possession and imprisonment. The silk sheets normally had a cooling effect on my body; lately, though, I imagined I was trapped in a tomb with him._

_“So, get Celeste or Frankie… or even Sanjay to do it.” I tried to move farther away from him in bed. He only crept closer. His sweaty chest stuck to my back. Vodka lingered on his breath._

_He whispered in my ear. A stab at seduction that dripped with sloppiness. “You are the only one I can trust.” I use to love that French accent and how his English stressed every single syllable in a word to the point of verbally breaking it._

_“Michele, please… I was so close to getting caught the last time. I told you how scary it was. If the security guard had eyed me down for one second longer in Customs I knew he would…”_

_“How do you think we are going to make it in another month, uh?!?”He whipped me around onto my back and pinned me down with his body. His hands gripped my forearms. He began to push me into the bed further than I thought was even possible. The mattress began to close in around me. His eyes were wide and wild. How many times had I stared into those hypnotizing pools of blue and gotten lost in them? Now, I thought I would drown from the uncertainty and obsession that lurked behind them. He’d come to bed after a night of drinking and partying at 2:00 in the morning. I had pretended to be asleep through most of the messy sex he had completed minutes ago. But, there was no way I could sleep through his begging and intimidation._

_“How?!?” He rocked me into the mattress again._

_“Alright.” I whispered._

_For a brief moment there was a glimpse of the Michele I had fallen in love with. A slight registration of reality passed over his face that questioned what he was doing to me. His grip eased. I could feel the blood rush back into my arms once the tourniquet of fists released. There would be bruises. I silently cursed him. I’d have to wear long sleeves for a week or so in this heat. By then the patches of purple would fade to a light yellow that would be hard to discern._

_His erratic grin returned and the Michele of old was gone again. “Thank you, baby. I promise, it will be the last time.” His lips covered my neck as he spoke. “We will have enough to get away, just you and I.”_

_“Sure.” My mind tried to think of something else as his excitement pressed against my hip bone._

_“Where do you want to go?”_

_“I don’t care.”_

_“Wherever we are, it will be perfect, Beth. Because we will be together.”_

I sat upright in bed and woke myself from the memory. My heart was pounding. It took a few seconds to recollect where I was. The longhouse felt safe and familiar for a moment. Until I remembered that Richard was not beside me.

Vera and I were on laundry duty the next morning. We had started with the bed sheets first and were ringing out the final one in a joint effort. I was going through the motions and trying desperately to focus on the task at hand twisting the king-size linen clockwise. Vera was at the other end of the sheet pulling it taut as it hung a foot over the water and turning with all her might. All I could think about was Richard.

V was keeping the conversation light though the chore wasn’t. “I do not miss corn in the slightest. Working in the fields with my dad and brothers. Garden duty here is a slice of heaven in comparison to the days on the farm back home.” We carefully walked the sheet, now just a former shadow of its once drenched self in a compact version, to the basket by the stream’s edge. She had begun our typical ‘do not miss’ rant. She motioned to the towels. “Your turn.”

I grabbed one of the sand coated cloths and tossed it to her. She instinctively closed her eyes in receipt of it. I grabbed another, recognizing it to be Keaty’s. I plunged it twice into the water before a quick drape over the rock. A bar of soap was pulled from my apron pocket and swiped lazily against the yellow and green dyed fabric.

“I do not miss Boston traffic.” I continued to work on the towel after the short statement.

“Beth?”

“Yeah?”

“He’ll be back any minute, you know.” She was using another rock as a washboard.

My face managed a slight smile. “I know.”

“Jesus, if you look that happy when he returns he might just high tail it off the island for good.”

Keaty’s towel got another soaking to rinse off the soap. “I hate feeling like this!” I emptied out my frustration on the assignment and twisted the laundry item into the smallest cylinder I could. “I do not miss the vulnerability that goes along with caring for someone.” I flung it into the unsoiled basket. “Your turn.”

She shook her head at me. “Forget it. Might be better we keep the talking to a minimum this morning.” She continued on her chore. I did the same. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before I heard her again. By then, we had finished the towels and moved onto the clothes. Her voice cheerily greeted Keaty, who stared down at us from the bridge. I glanced up at him quickly in recognition as she chatted. “Hey, what’s up? You aren’t going to tell us we used too much starch on your collars again, are you?”

It was the fact that he didn’t immediately reply with a clever retort that got me to look back up at him. His face was somber. “Beth?” My stomach began to do uneasy flips. The tone Keaty used was low and highly unlike him. “Sal needs to talk to you.”

I deposited the soaked clothes I was holding onto the rocks. “They’re back?” What should have been a question filled with excitement held none. I already knew the answer.

Keaty looked at the hand rail of the bridge. He was gripping it firmly. “Sal’s back.”

I nodded to myself more than anyone else and looked over to Vera. She spoke gently. “Go ahead. I’ve got the rest.” Her chipper attitude had been replaced with unease.

I strode through the community while blood pumped rapidly in my ears. Whatever the news was it had already made its way to many of our cohabitants. I could hear some slight whispers bandied back and forth as I passed. Miranda stared at me with pity and shook her head. Anna cursed something about men in Italian from what I could gather. Keaty, who would have usually escorted me in a gentlemanly fashion, opted to stay behind with Vera to help with the laundry.

I sighed as I saw Sal sitting on the beach by herself. _Why did she have to be the one to tell me?_ My feet trudged over to her, not another soul to be found on the white sand.

She turned and welcomed me with a look of sympathy. “Beth.”

I stood over her. “What was it?”

She eyed me in a confused fashion.

“What was his reason for staying on the mainland?” She was about to answer when I cut her off. “He’s alright, isn’t he?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

I nodded back. “Then I don’t need to know the reason.” I turned and walked off. She may have wanted to be the one to give me the bad news; but, I would not let her have the full satisfaction of it.

Everyone crept around me for the rest of the day as if on eggshells. Most asked how I was. Others avoided eye contact. I went about my business as if nothing had happened. Because, in all honesty, it was nothing less than what I had expected could transpire. I had prepared myself for the possibility. Once the scenario had played itself out, I felt myself fade into the background again. It was where I was most comfortable and where nothing could hurt me.

Nightfall on the beach received me in a consoling manner. I had brought my stash and leaned against the rocks. The whole day had been one of Déjà vu. As I thought back, and puffed away, Sal told me Daffy had left the island in a similar way.

I had been mad at Daffy for leaving in the beginning. But, for Richard, it was different. He had the option and opportunity for a life beyond the beach. _Daffy had a responsibility here. Richard didn’t. Why wouldn’t he take it? Why wouldn’t he run away? After all, I’ve done it so many times. It’s easy._

I held in the smoke and thought back to the night we shared on the mainland. The scar on my hand was faded now. A small reminder of our time together. _It’s better this way. For both of us._ I’d gone through his things earlier. There was no sign of the gun or the money I’d asked him to stash for safekeeping. _I’m sure he’ll put it to good use._

It had been only a few nights prior that we both were in this very spot together. _Exploring each other._ My toes inched into the sand. I closed my eyes. I could hear his voice whispering my name. If I took another hit, I was sure I could remember how his hands felt when they skimmed over my body.

The debate began in my head. _Why would he leave? Money aside and all the problems on the beach, he seemed to really want to be here. With me._ No matter how much I might have tried to implant the thought in his head that leaving would be OK to do - _leaving me_ \- it didn’t seem like an option for Richard. The fact that Sal was the only person I could ask for information didn’t sit well either. _Why would I believe anything she told me to be the truth anyway?_

My eyes opened and I stared up at the stars. For now, at least, I’d have to be alright with not knowing. It would be a hard few days and weeks, maybe even months. But, the memories of him would diminish in time. And, things would go back to the way they were before Richard had ever stepped foot on this island.

I had indulged heavily in the smoke that night and ended up passing out on the beach. Memories had mixed in with my dreams to create agitated visions.

_I walked through the long terminal after the flight back to Thailand. I had followed all of the steps as Michele had instructed. It had taken two days to complete the transaction with his buyer in London – that included thirty hours of flying time. There had been little sleep. My anxiety and worry would not let my thoughts drift from all of the possible worst-case scenarios._

_Before I made my way through Customs I headed into one of the bathrooms. The tepid water from the sink did little to calm my nerves when I splashed it on my face. Platinum hair framed my scared expression in a non-flattering fashion as I inspected my reflection. My carry-on was held tightly between my knees in a vice grip while my fingers pulled at the bags under my eyes. The skin, puffy and somewhat greasy, almost matched the color of my roots. I squinted at myself displeased. I looked 30._

_Fingers closed around the rim of the sink to steady my exhausted body. I heard the flush of a toilet followed by the squeak of a stall door. A petite Asian teenager appeared and quickly washed her hands at the only accessible basin right next to me. She tried not to make eye contact. I couldn’t help but glower at nothing in front of me. I was so tired. How would I be able to walk through security without looking high or utterly suspicious?_

_She left and a few more bodies made their way into the bathroom. Loud, boisterous talk echoed against the walls in a language that I believed was Russian. The conversation stopped briefly in order to give me the once over before the two women went to take care of more important business._

_I ran the water and splashed my face for the third time. “I can’t do this anymore.” The realization came in a groggy whisper. How long would it be before he asked me –forced me – to do this again?_

_What did he tell me when I called him at Heathrow before I got on the plane? He said he was going to be busy with a client when I was scheduled to land. What friend was going to pick me up? Goofy? Dopey? Daffy. That was it. The Scotsman. He’d been nice enough on the occasions I had met him. Not much like the rest of Michele’s friend. Very matter of fact and plain spoken._

_Another thought emerged. “Maybe he might help me?” It was after another flush that I looked straight into my own eyes and decided to ask him. I had enough cash in my carry-on to bribe pretty much anyone at this point. And, being in the same occupation as Michele, I figured Daffy would be more than willing to screw a buddy over for some easy money._

_I scooted over to the paper towel dispenser, bag still sandwiched between my legs, and tugged. I dried off my face and breathed in deeply. This could work. I could get out of this and away from him finally. Where didn’t matter. I needed to run. It was time._

_The bathroom door opened and I peered in its direction. I waited; but, no one walked through. Instead, a low laying fog crept in and skirted over the ancient tile floor. I should have been confused by it. I only grabbed my tote and trudged into the mist._

_The white walls and Thai signs had been replaced by a familiar trail. It was one I had taken numerous times before with Daffy. The leaves glistened with moisture and the haze covered my feet. Our early morning trips to the pier on our way to the mainland always had a weird dreamlike sensation. The luggage, out of place, brushed against the grass. I felt wetness plop against my thighs._

_He was usually ten feet or so ahead of me. But, not this time. I was on my own._

_“Daff?” I pushed past the last of the trees into the clearing. The pier was gone. I was back in the airport and in line for Customs inspection. The Russians were in the queue ahead of me. “Daff.” I whispered to myself. They started to speak to me. I could only look around. “I need to get out of here. Have you seen Daffy?”_

_They responded in their foreign language and waved hands towards the front of the line. They parted, opening a spot for me to walk onward. I kept asking each person next in line. They all did the same, allowing me to pass and pointing. The guard’s back was to me when I asked, “Have you seen Daffy?”_

_“No.” It was Richard’s voice that answered. He turned to me with a serious gaze. The security cap was pulled tightly down on his head. He waved a hand that beckoned me to approach in a formal manner. “Papers?” I pulled out my information. He snatched them and scrutinized quickly before eyeing me up and down. “Open your bag.”_

_“I… I need to get out of here.” My voice was begging. It was just the two of us in the expansive hallway now._

_“Too late.” He grabbed the bag and threw it on the counter. The zipper echoed loudly as he revealed the contents. His fingers grazed over my clothes, pushing them this way and that._

_“I… I can explain…”_

_His fingers dove deep into the middle of my sea of garments. A look of vindication spread over his face as his hand materialized with a stack of bills. Another dive and he came up with a bag of marijuana. He held both up, victorious. “You know, there’s probably enough to get out of here. You should have listened to me, Beth.” He dropped the money and the pot on the floor and then pulled the 9MM out of his holster. He pointed it at my head. “Too bad you aren’t going anywhere. You’re all alone now.” I closed my eyes and heard the gun shot._

When I opened them again, Richard was gone. And, I was alone.

“I’ll join you.” Vera wiped her brow as we walked out of the garden.

I frowned. “V. You haven’t left my side for a week. I love you and all; but, you are starting to get on my fucking nerves.”

She smacked my arm. “At least I care, you little shit.”

“I get it. I do.” I readjusted the satchel of harvested fruit over my shoulder after the impact of her hand had thrown it off. “And, I get the worrying. I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

“You haven’t been yourself. No one else may notice or give a crap; but, I do.”

I shrugged. “It’s a funk. I’ll snap out of it soon.”

“He was a fucking selfish prick.”

My eyes began to glass over and my mind zoned out, preparing for another tirade about Richard. I couldn’t defend him to her. There was no way to do that and not seem like an insecure, out of touch, helpless female in Vera’s mind. To tell her I understood why he did it would lead to another debate, which I did not have the energy for after a long day.

We dropped off the goods to the food tent. “I won’t be long. It’s been forever and I need to clean up.”

She nodded. “I can’t promise Keaty won’t be by.”

“I know.” I saluted her and made my way, thankfully, by myself.

_The falls._ Normally, I would have sat on the edge for a few minutes to survey the area. But, today, I was stripping off my clothes to get down to my bathing suit as soon as I stepped on the rocks. I didn’t care about anything else more than leaping into the pulsing shower.

I jumped in eagerly and swam hurriedly to the waterfall. There had been time to think about the past week on my journey here. An energy and need seemed to increase my pace. All I wanted was to forget.

The stream of water accepted me under it easily. There was a jolting force against my body. The struggle felt greater on my end than usual. I suspected the weight of my thoughts was creating an imbalance. Hands rubbed away at the grime and grit and I dove under the water to run fingers through my hair before returning to the falls.

I floated for some time on my back. The sky was clear, not a cloud above me, and a bright blue – one of my favorite shades. _Like Richard’s eyes._ My lids closed. I wanted to drift away.

The splash by the water’s edge got my attention. I turned to look. _Probably a tree branch._ I couldn’t make out anything of significance and closed my eyes again.

A few minutes passed and I heard another unfamiliar splatter. I sighed and pulled myself out of my daydreaming. I swam over to where I heard the sound for further inspection. When I waded over to my pile of clothes I realized my white tank top was gone.

“Shit.” _An animal wouldn’t have run off with it._ _Keaty._ I was intent not to acknowledge the prank and stepped out from my peaceful dip to shuffle into my shorts. My feet had been shoved into sandals when I noticed my white top hanging on a low tree branch. It was about forty or so feet in the dense tangle of foliage, draped like a flag of surrender.

“Ok, I’ll bite, Keaty.” I murmured to myself. _If playing this game made him think I was feeling better then so be it._ My hair was twisted to ring out the water before I trekked over to claim my prize.

It dangled a few inches from my arm’s reach. I stood directly under the shirt and pondered. A jump or two might get it; but, I didn’t want to risk ripping it. “How the hell did he get it up there?”

“Need some help?” My body froze at the sound of the whisper behind me. Only my eyelids batted wildly. My mind had to have imagined it. I continued to stare up at the shirt. It was the tap on my shoulder that broke me from the rigid stance. I whipped around.

There he stood, in his glory, a long stick held against his left shoulder. His blue eyes sparkled at me, even in the shade, as he smiled in triumph. “Took you long enough to get here.”

My mouth opened. “Richard?”

He looked dirtier than I remembered; but, still managed to create a striking visage. He was in the same clothes I had last seen him in on the beach. _Before he left._ Sweat beaded up on his forehead. He stared at me in confusion, still smiling all the while. “Beth?”

“What…?”

“We don’t have a lot of time. Come with me.” He grabbed my shirt perched above us with the stick and handed it gracefully to me. His figure headed into the jungle. He turned once, briefly, and motioned for me to follow. I swallowed hard, pulled the shirt over my head, and trailed him.

More and more light was blocked out by the trees overhead as we ventured in further. His long legs moved quickly and he batted increasing amounts of leaves from his path. He finally stopped and faced me. My heart was beating a mile a minute. _Was I dreaming?_

He paced a few feet to stand in front of me and grabbed both sides of my face. “Are you alright?” I nodded into his hands. The accustomed electricity my body sensed when he touched me vibrated through my system. His eyes inspected me meticulously before he kissed my lips, causing another pleasurable jolt. He whispered. “I missed you.”

My hands covered his. “What happened?”

“It’s a long story and I don’t think there’s enough time right now.” He looked back over my shoulder to the falls. “I waited to make sure you hadn’t been followed; but, it doesn’t mean it’s safe to stay here too long.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

He licked his lips quickly and stared intently into my eyes. “You need to leave with me.” My mouth opened about to speak; but, he cut me off. “Go back to the community like everything’s normal. Tomorrow morning, head off to the garden, lose any company for the day, and meet me at the lookout spot I showed you. Can you do that?”

I nodded more out of habit than anything else. My head was swimming. I was getting lost in him.

He smiled and continued. “Leave a note for Vera to find, somewhere she won’t come across until the end of the day – tell her you had to get off the island and you’re taking the boat. That should give us enough time.”

“Richard…”

“I’m not leaving you here.” His look was fierce now. “Either you come to me or I come to you. But, we’ll both be safer if you do as I say. Do you trust me, Beth?”

“Yes.”

He kissed my forehead and nodded towards the water. “Go.”

“Beth!?!” Keaty’s voice bellowed back at the falls. Richard put a finger to his lips and walked into the jungle. I waited until he’d disappeared from view before I started to move. I contemplated the instructions given as I headed to my worried bud. He was looking out over the water, calling my name with cupped hands around his mouth.

“Over here.” I called out to Keaty. He turned around in surprise.

“Where you been?”

“Doing a little exploring. Vera send you after me?”

“Didn’t want you to miss dinner is all.” He shrugged.

“Well, we should head back then.” I cracked a genuine smile. But, I was unsure if my mind had imagined the whole thing. _Did I really see him? Talk to him? Feel him? Or, am I losing it the way Daffy did?_ I had been toking daily since the news of Richard. Maybe the drugs were playing with my sanity.

“After you.” Keaty’s hand did a dramatic flourish as he endorsed my lead on the trail. He started conversing a mile a minute. Halfway listening, I stared at the ground ahead of me while I walked.

My hands stuffed themselves into my pockets. That’s when I felt the foreign object. I turned back to Keaty and nodded, pretending to listen. He was staring this way and that as he rambled. It seemed safe to inspect the item since Keaty’s attention was occupied on something other than me. Cupped tightly in my hand, I pulled out the article. My pace sped up to put more distance between us for privacy.

When I glanced down at my open palm I smiled. It was a cheap keychain. Something you’d find at a hundred stores on the mainland. The black and white photo attached to the steel ring was encased in clear plastic. The picture was of Johnny Weissmuller, donned in a loincloth that had made him a famous motion picture actor. I remembered watching many of those films as a child, usually during a Sunday afternoon on my grandparents’ old television. I thought back to when Richard and I had returned from the rice run. He had done a spot on impression of Mr. Weissmuller in the cavern. _Me Tarzan, you Jane._

My hero was back to save me.

Every cell in my body felt like it was ready to scream. I tried impressively to hide the hope and fear I was experiencing simultaneously. All through dinner my mind was racing at the possibility of leaving with Richard and the questions that tagged along with his reappearance.

_What happened?_ My eyes went back to the head of the table, time and time again, glancing at Sal – with Bugs to her right – wondering what had transpired on that trip. _I’m not safe._ She had given everyone the impression of a more cheery disposition since her return. A stark contrast to the gloom that hovered around me like a rain cloud. _Is that just a coincidence? Is this all a part of her plan?_

Once everyone had settled in for the night, I decided to work on the note Richard told me to leave for Vera. It was simple, filled with all of the points he told me to put in it. I understood why he’d send them heading to the cavern, as that was more than likely the farthest spot on the island from where we were scheduled to rendezvous. However, once there, they’d see the boat and know it was a flat out lie. _I have to trust him._

I neatly folded the stationary I had bought a couple years ago on a rice run. _Who did I think I’d be writing?_ The paper was stuffed into a matching light grey envelope and tucked in my cigar box. The perfect place for Vera to come across it would be her journal. She wrote in it religiously every evening before bed, even if it was merely a sentence or two. She never spoke about it to me or anyone else. It was one of those routine things you notice after three years of sharing a bunkhouse with someone that never needs to be mentioned. I felt bad that I would be breaking her trust by even opening it; but, it would have to be done. Pondering how things would be left in her mind, I pulled the letter out again and wrote at the bottom. _P.S. This is the first and last time I ever opened your notebook. Thank you for being my friend._

The triple threat of weeding, pruning and transplanting seemed to be enough to go it alone for garden detail in the morning. The constant shadows of Vera and Keaty alerted me that they would be busy with other chores after I dictated what awaited them in the dirt. I smiled agreeably as they left the longhouse. There was an excruciatingly long delay for everyone to vacate. Finally alone, I had the opportunity to sneak my note into Vera’s journal.

There were many factors beyond my control. Hopefully no one would need anything from the garden. I ran the previous days’ needs and Genix’ menu in my head. They should be set for today at least. And, if not, the only two that might notice and care that I wasn’t at my station would probably be avoiding it.

My eyes darted around nervously as I veered from the buzz of community activity. I crossed the bridge, over our state line, and walked away quickly. My stomach seized up. There was the realization that, if everything went as planned, I would no longer return. I turned back, wanting to gaze at Bugs’ bridge one more time. Sal stood on the edge of it, watching me.

She beckoned me to her with a slight twist of her hand. I smiled pleasantly and trotted over, displaying the same swiftness I suspected she had watched me leave. Tense fingers tried to casually grip the rail I leaned against. “What’s up, Sal?”

“I don’t want to keep you from the garden.” Her hands tapped on the bridge. She looked strained, revealing any type of emotion. “How are you doing?”

I beamed, enjoying the discomfort experienced by her in an attempt at compassion. “Good.”

“Really?” Her eyes lifted in surprise.

“Yep. Have to concentrate on the day to day.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.” She walked over to me with trepidation. My eyes widened when her hand rested on my shoulder. “We can’t do this without you. Let’s make some time later today to talk a bit more. OK?”

I nodded in hesitation. It was hard to swallow the act. “Sure.”

She nodded in return and headed back to the longhouse.

After a deep sigh and a long look around the community, it was time to say a silent goodbye. I didn’t try to hide the excitement I felt at reuniting with Richard.

I wasn’t surprised. There was no trace of him at the clearing where he told me to meet him. If he was as smart as I suspected, there wouldn’t be. I’d have to be patient. When he felt it was safe he’d show himself.

Taking advantage of the solitude, I sat on one of the rocks and looked out onto the water. There were no binoculars to examine the island he’d shown me on my last visit. I held my arm out and covered it with the palm of my hand. Any guess on my part as to how far away it was would be useless.

The rustle of leaves caught my attention. Knowing better than to call out his name I sat soundlessly. I turned, staring and waiting, hoping.

He appeared in an instant and smiled upon seeing me. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I whispered. My instinct was to smile back; but, I’d seen too many films where the perfect reunion was suddenly dashed by a heartbreaking interruption.

Reading my mind, he countered my worry, “It’s OK. Doesn’t look like anybody tailed you.”

I frowned. “How can you be sure?”

He sat down beside me. “I was trailing you for about half of your hike up here.”

Startled and wary in the belief he could have sleuth like abilities that powerful, I defied the statement. “No you weren’t.”

He nodded. “What had you freaked out that you grabbed a rock and slammed it on the ground?”

“Wha…?” My mouth shut, shocked that he had seen that. “I… I thought I saw a snake.”

His smile was followed by a shrug. “Are you ready?”

“Where are we going?”

“The pier.” He saw my look of confusion. His eyes relaxed as he leaned in and kissed me softly. “I’m guessing you want to know what happened.”

I hugged him tightly with no intention of letting go. My lips kissed the side of his face numerous times. Tragic movie twists, be damned. I decided to relish in the moment with him. “I didn’t want to believe that you’d left willingly. But, you know I would have understood.”

I felt his hand stroke my hair. “I know. I wasn’t exaggerating yesterday. It’s not safe for you here. Not anymore, anyway.”

“OK. What happened?”

He released his embrace so he could look at me. “The morning we left. We’d made it to the caverns fine. Sal asked me to untie the boat. Then, while I was bending down to take care of it, I got hit from behind. It was hard enough to knock me out for a few minutes.” His hand rubbed a spot on the top of his head. “Not sure what woke me up… maybe it was being thrown in the boat like a sack of rice.” My mouth opened in disbelief. He nodded. “I heard Sal talking to Bugs. Well, more like arguing…”

_“How could you forget the rope, Bugs?!?”_

_“Christ! Calm down.”_

_“How do you expect me to calm down? The only way for this to work is to tie him up.”_

_“We’ll use the anchor rope. Just give me a minute!”_

“I felt the boat shift under me when he climbed inside. I was on my stomach. There wasn’t much time to figure out what to do next. But, to wait for the right opportunity, I needed to pretend to be out of it for a little while longer.” He smiled at me. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For talking me in to bringing the gun.”

_“Does anyone suspect anything?”_

_“No. I told Keaty I was going to inspect the pulley for your return in the morning.”_

_“Good, that should give us enough time to dump him.”_

“Dump you? Where?” I began to fully understand the depths Sal would go to protect her community from whatever she considered a threat.

He sighed. “Apparently, they were going to toss me somewhere in the sea between the island and the mainland. It was when Sal scrambled into the boat that I pulled out the gun.”

_“Bugs!”_

_“Shit!”_

_“Let’s all calm down. Just to be clear… we aren’t going with the original idea both of you had in mind.”_

_“Let her go, Richard!”_

_“I will. But, not right now. First, you are going to get off this boat, Bugs, and let Sal and I go.”_

_“Richard, please…”_

_“Uh, uh. Shut it, Sal. Bugs! Off! Now!”_

_“Alright, alright.”_

_“Start the boat, Sal.”_

“I really didn’t know what I was going to do with her. If she didn’t make it back I was worried Bugs might do something to you. When I got her alone on the boat, she admitted that they had all the supplies they needed. The whole trip had been an excuse to get me alone and confront me. It was only supposed to look like they were going to chuck me over. They wanted to scare the shit out of me, leave me on the mainland… no chance of me ever coming back.”

I shook my head. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t believe a word of it.”

_“And, what about Beth?”_

_“What about her?”_

_“What are you going to do to scare her off the island?”_

_“Nothing. We need her, Richard. We don’t need you. You’ve been nothing but trouble.”_

_“Messed with your little eco-system, did I?”_

_“Exactly. Beth was manageable before. What she knows… she’s integral.”_

_“And, if she’s not manageable now?”_

“She didn’t answer me. That’s what made me realize you were in real trouble.” He grabbed my hand. “We got to the shore of the mainland. I drained the boat’s engine of most of the gas and took her spare can of fuel. I left her with enough to get to the beach. Searched her for any cash she might have. I didn’t want thoughts about turning right back and coming after me floating around in that deranged head of hers. Then, I sent her on her way.” He looked around and pulled me up in one swift motion. “We need to get going. I can tell you the rest while we walk.”

Descending the slope and back onto the trail, his hand reached out to help me begin the trek downward. Once a firm grip was established my feet followed him.

“We’ve got about an hour if we don’t stop for anything.” At the first leveled spot of the trail, he grabbed two backpacks tucked behind a tree. He handed me one. “Some water and other stuff.”

I unzipped the bag quickly and pulled out a bottle of water. “From the mainland?” The straps were adjusted speedily around and over my shoulders.

A quick nod as he did the same. “Didn’t waste a lot of time while I was there. I knew I had to get back. I had to use most of the money you gave me to hold on to; but, I’ll repay you.”

My eyebrows raised. “I think this is repayment enough.”

He pointed to the trail as he resumed. “I bought a small boat. Hell of a lot of haggling to get the guy down in price. It’s a piece of shit. But, I knew it would be good for at least a couple trips. That’s all we need. Got some supplies and headed back the next day. Took me a couple passes; but, I finally found the pier.”

“You’ve been on the island for a week?”

“Yeah. Doing some reconnaissance.”

“Some military experience you forgot to tell me about?”

He laughed and tapped the side of his head. “All up here.” Then, he gesticulated his fingers in a familiar video game controller position. “And here.”

“What did you find while you were investigating?”

“Well, for one thing, the farmers aren’t as scary as Sal makes them out to be. Mainly doing their job of protecting and taking care of the product from what I can see. I even snuck into their bunk one night while they were sleeping.” My feet wanted to stop at the mention of him putting himself in danger like that; but, I forced myself to continue walking. “There as harmless as most of the beach community. Have more gun power is all.”

“I’m glad you didn’t try to come back to the beach. If what you’re saying about Sal and Bugs is…”

“I’ve been spying on you all for the past few days.”

This time I stopped walking. “What?”

He turned around to stare at me. “Do I have to prove it to you again?” A shake of my head had him spin and pick up the pace. “We are a pretty clueless bunch, I have to say. Perspective is an interesting thing. Seeing you all as an outsider. The carefree atmosphere that most of them have. It’s no wonder Sal wants to keep you here. You really are one of the few workhorses she has.” I bumped into his figure, him stopping in mid-step this time. Before I could think he grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me fiercely. His breath mingled with mine as he began to speak. “I wanted to do that the first time I saw you in the garden after my return. But, Vera hasn’t left you alone for a minute.” His peck was softer the second time. “It is going to fall apart, Beth. You are so important, you don’t even realize it.”

I wanted to forget about everything but the two of us. “Richard…”

He closed his eyes and placed a kiss on my forehead. “We’ve got to stay focused. It’s you and me. Getting off this island. OK?”

Guilt began to fill my thoughts. “Vera? Keaty?”

He sighed. “I know. But, they’re smart. They won’t stay after you’re gone.”

“How do you know that? What if Sal…?”

“Beth, you can’t fix everything and you can’t play the ‘what if’ game, not right now… not when your safety is at risk.”

An idea emerged. “But, if I’m that important, like you said… I might have leverage on the situation. I could reason with Sal.”

He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. “You just put two things in a sentence that don’t belong together. Reason and Sal. She doesn’t have that anymore. You saw what she did to Daffy. I told you, she thinks you are a loose cannon. The old Beth, sure, she’d keep around and order and have her do anything she tells her to with no complaints. This Beth, the one I’m looking at right now, she can’t go back and make Sal happy. And, that’s a good thing. You have to believe that.”

My eyelids sealed tight with great force, closing him out. “I don’t know if I can.”

Arms wrapped around me. His chin rested on top of my forehead. “I know you’re scared about what’s waiting on the mainland. But, I’ll be with you.” He took another deep breath. “I called my parents while I was there. I told them about some of the stuff that’s happened. And, about you?”

Eyes sprang open against his shirt. The tears that were beginning to form halted at the information. “What did you tell them?”

“Not a lot, don’t worry. That I met this girl that got into some serious trouble, or might be, if she comes back to the states. That she needs help. They offered to do that, Beth.” He laughed. “They’ll do pretty much anything at this point to get me home. And, they know people. The right kind of people.”

“Why would helping me get you back home?”

“Well, because I told them I was bringing you with me. We’re a package deal, you see.” I stared at the collar of his shirt, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he spoke. “I have to contact them as soon as we make it to Thailand. They’re making the calls right now, getting whoever we need to ensure you and I are on a plane to California in less than 24 hours.”

It all sounded too good to be true. “Are you telling me whatever I want to hear to get me to go with you?” My eyes traveled to his face.

He shrugged. “Guess you won’t know. You’ll have to trust that I have your best interest at heart. I want you with me, Beth.” He kissed me again. “Maybe Daffy didn’t give me that map with the hope that I would be able to help save the island…”

I waited for him to finish.

“Maybe he wanted me to save you.”

It was turning out to be an awfully humid day. Sweat was pouring off of us when we cleared the trees and arrived at the pier. By the looks of the sun, it was around eleven. Heat beat down with laser focus without protection from the canopy of greenery. I filled my lungs deeply with air. It wasn’t much help and only added to the heaviness in my chest. The remains of the water bottle was poured into my hand and splashed on my face.

“Here.” Richard pulled a rag out of his pocket and offered it to me. “Ladies first.” He smiled.

The liquid was swiftly removed before I handed the cloth back. “Thanks.”

“You want to work on digging up the lockbox and I’ll finish prepping the boat?”

I looked out to the water, no sign of a boat. “Where is it?”

He pointed off to the left. “I hid it in the marsh grass. If I need some help, I’ll let you know.”

“That’s what Daffy used to do.” I smiled in fond remembrance. Both hands ran over my forehead, smoothing the hair back and away before I decided to pull out my ponytail and start from scratch. “Good thing I brought the key to the lockbox.”

“Didn’t think I’d have to remind you about that.” We both walked in tandem to the rocks. “Of course, if you didn’t, we could just shoot it open.” He tapped the large pocket of his cargo shorts and then eased the gun out of it. I watched as he deftly holstered it into his belt.

“Why didn’t you dig it up already?”

He motioned for me to turn with my back to him. I heard the unzipping of the pack I was carrying. After some rifling, he found what he was looking for and passed me a small shovel. “It’s yours. I didn’t want to chance you coming here at some point, before I was able to make contact, and have you think I took off with it.”

“I wouldn’t have thought that.” I frowned.

“Yes you would. I would have, if I was in your position.”

“Do you think they know yet?”

He shrugged. “Hard to say. I’m hoping no one checks on you, at least until after lunch. If we can make it until dinner that will be perfect. I figured a note that Vera comes across towards the end of the day would do one of two things. She could get worried for you right away and tell someone, which would send them to the caverns. Or, she might keep it to herself as a big old ‘Fuck You’ to Sal, make up something about why you weren’t in your bunk, and leave them all in the dark for a while. The second option would buy us some time. If she goes with my first guess, I took a few precautions.”

“What do you mean?”

He shook his head. “Less talk, more action.” He kissed me quickly. “Get to work.”

I watched him walk down the fifteen feet of the short pier before he sat on the edge to take his pack off. He eased gently into the water and swam over to the marsh, disappearing from view. My eyes turned to the task at hand and easily identified the spot we had dug up not too long ago. _We didn’t do a very good job of covering it._ I knelt in front of the middle boulder and began hasty excavation work.

I peered occasionally over in the direction of where I thought Richard was, as well as over the rocks to the trail. Every nerve in my body was on high alert now, knowing there was a chance my whereabouts were already in question. It had been different when Daffy left. He had been unpredictable, sometimes gone an entire day with no word to anyone. There wasn’t any immediate concern when he left the island for good, even from me, until he’d been gone for a couple days. My routine, on the other hand, was like clockwork. Me not around by dinner - that would set off alarm bells for Vera. The note made more sense now. I hoped Vera’s irritation with Sal would outweigh her distress for my well-being, though it seemed unlikely.

The swaying of the marsh grass and the lapping of the water was a good sign. I was sure he was fine. _Just like Daffy._

_“Here we are. Home sweet home.” We had been hugging the perimeter of the island for what must have been a mile. Daffy cracked a smile as I looked back at him from the front of the boat._

_I halfheartedly smiled back as I gazed at what looked like a pier sandwiched between the marshy outskirts on either side._

_“It’s going to be fine, Beth. Have a little faith.” He nodded to the rope neatly wound on the boat floor. “How good’s your aim?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Think you can throw that loop over the post there when we get close?”_

_I shrugged and grabbed the rope. “I can try.”_

_“Good girl.” The boat’s trajectory shifted slowly, pointing to the dock. “When I count to three, give it a go.”_

_I nodded. I intently eyed the post, held the loop and gave myself a decent amount of slack before picking a spot of the nylon to hold with my other hand. In my mind, the top of the post was Michele’s head and my goal was to tie a noose around his selfish, cowardly French neck. The loop swung in my hand, similar to the way I would prepare to throw a bowling ball down a lane. When the hell was the last time I bowled anyway?_

_Daffy spoke the words softly after he’d shut off the motor and we coasted to our destination. “One… two… ”_

_I released the rope as he finished saying “three.” The noose found its victim effortlessly. I smiled in slight vindication._

_“Excellent!” He jumped onto the pier and grabbed the boat’s edge, pulling it closer. “I had a feeling about you.” He grabbed additional rope and tied it around the other post._

_“That I had good aim?” I clutched the hand he presented to help me out of the boat._

_“That you could rise to any occasion.”_

_I laughed at the absurdity of the comment as I stood up straight and took in the scenery around me._

_“Why don’t you sit for a while? I’ll get some of this stuff ready for transport. Bugs should be here soon.”_

_“I can help.”_

_“Oh, you will, don’t you worry about that. We’ll need your arms for the walk back. For now, rest. I’d say it’s been quite the day for you.”_

_I thought back to twelve hours previous, when I had been released on a rather large amount of bail after my arrest. I expected to see Michele in the waiting area of the police station. Instead, the somber expression of Daffy greeted me._

_I draped my legs over the pier, using my feet to help steady the boat for Daffy as he jumped back in to unload the inventory. “How often do you have to do this supply run?”_

_“Once a month. That’s why you see my lovely face so often back on the mainland.” He opened his mouth wide to expose a toothy, slightly yellowed grin. It was hard to guess his age. Life had obviously been rough on him or he’d willingly been hard on himself; or, maybe it was a combination of both. I was guessing he was anywhere between 30 and 50. His lithe frame made quick work of the boxes and bags as he lined them up methodically by the pier’s edge. “We’re working on something new, though. If we get it to work, might be able to cut down the trips to every four months… maybe more if we are lucky.” His Scottish accent hit every long “e” sound with loud emphasis._

_“I really appreciate this Daffy.”_

_He shook his head. “I was just glad I could help… and that you came to your senses and stopped trying to protecting him.”_

_“How long can I stay?”_

_He hopped out of the boat after my last question and sat beside me. “As long as you may want or need to.”_

_“You’re sure this is going to be OK with…?” I tried to remember the name of the woman he mentioned._

_“Sal? She won’t have much choice about it. Besides, we need some new, younger blood around here.”_

_The answer didn’t make me feel as if there’d be a welcome mat rolled out for me upon my arrival. “I’ll pull my weight.”_

_He stared at me for a while. “I believe you will.”_

My fingers held one of Daffy’s bandanas. I rubbed over the fabric and took some time to take in the checkered pattern I would now always associate with him. Tying the bandana around my sweaty neck seemed the best option at the moment. I unzipped the backpack that lay off to the side. The remaining treasured remembrances of Daffy, a dozen bandanas, were pulled from the lockbox and placed inside the bag before I emptied it of the money.

I stood up and walked over to the pier’s edge. Feet dangled inches above the water that waded over to where I sat. Liquid rings of motion expanded out from the grass. Another few minutes lapsed before the blades split and the front of the boat sliced through them. Some grunts could be heard as the source of the energy pushing it forward. The green curtain closed behind Richard. He brought up the rear of the boat with his momentum. I leaned over and grabbed the front to assist in the manual guidance.

“Wow,” I nodded in admiration, “it really is a piece of shit.” I dropped anchor with my feet against the inside of the mangled metal.

“I told you.” He waded around to the other side of the boat across from me. “Strictly for function. Not like my dad’s.” My eyes provided enough question for him to answer. “He’s got a yacht.”

“Really?”

His wet face was all smiles. “I’ll take you out on it when we get back.” He pointed to the post. “Tie it up for me?”

I obliged the request and stood up. “Next thing you are going to tell me is that you’re the sole heir to a million dollar empire.”

“Nah. That would be too good to be true.” He pulled himself out of the water and sat on the pier. “I’ve got two older brothers I have to split it with.” He forced a laugh out of me. He didn’t miss a beat in response. “I haven’t heard that in a while.”

I sat beside him after I tied up the rope. “What next?”

“We get our stuff on the boat and get the hell out of here.”

I looked out over the water. “Back to civilization.”

His hand grabbed mine. “It’s going to be OK.”

“I hope so.”

“I’ll get your pack.”

He was about to get up but I beat him to it. I threw the bag he’d left by the edge into the boat. “I’ve got it. You do whatever offering to the Thai god of misfortune is needed to get this crap barrel started.”

“On it.” He hopped into the boat and made his way to the engine.

My feet were quick, practically skipping over to where I’d left my pack. _Could it really be this simple? The engine probably won’t start up._ As if needing to prove me wrong, the motor could be heard sputtering to life behind me. I turned back to the pier and saw Richard hunched over the engine, smiling to himself. _It’s really happening._ My eyes travelled back to the hole I had dug up and the lockbox beside it. I frowned in confusion. _I thought I left the pack…_

The click of the gun prefaced Sal’s announcement of her presence. “Looking for something, Beth?”

She was clever, I had to give her that. “How long have you been tracking us, Sal?” My voice had to raise itself above its usual timber to be heard over the background noise that was the boat’s engine.

Her posture was rigid. She held the rifle with her arms in a stiff, locked position. She was out of Richard’s immediate line of sight, off to my right at the boundary where the marsh met the ground. Four calculated steps toward me were ventured before she stopped in an effort to keep herself hidden a while longer. “Are we really going to discuss the details of our day?” Her face was drenched in sweat. The normally composed being obviously had to utilize more of her energy than usual this morning. I heard a tinny knock at her feet and looked down to see her tapping the lockbox with the sole of her shoe.

“When did you find out?” I turned back hastily and saw Richard still fiddling with the engine. There was no way she was alone; but, I couldn’t determine Bugs’ location.

“About you leaving?” She adjusted the gun in her arms. There was obvious discomfort on her part. I noticed a rip of fabric on her sleeve and what looked to be blood soiling her shirt. “I’ve been watching you closer than you think since he left.” She nodded over to the boat. “Something seemed different about you last night. You looked…,” she narrowed her eyes, “hopeful.” Nodding at the correct adjective used spurred the rest of her monologue. “And then, you started writing last night. I haven’t seen you do that in ages. That nervous fretting from you this morning, waiting for everyone to leave the longhouse. It had me curious, so I did a little eavesdropping. That’s when I saw you leave the note for Vera. All that planning on his part. Makes me think I may have made the wrong decision in who should have stayed on the island.”

The bass of my heartbeat thumped in my ears louder and louder. There was a wildness in her eyes. It reminded me of Daffy toward the end, when there was little I could say or do to get through to him. To bring him back from whatever had overtaken and consumed his thoughts. Her eyes blinked hurriedly when beads of sweat clouded her sight. What was to stop her from pulling the trigger at this point?

“Sal… we can fix this.” Instead of raising up my hands in surrender, I turned my palms upwards as they hung limply at my sides. Any sudden movement was ill-advised. She was not an experienced gun user. In fact, she had ranted on many occasions about her anti-gun stance. For her to be holding one, staring down the barrel of a rifle at me, meant she had exhausted all options to safe hold the community. This was her last resort. “Let me fix this,” I repeated.

“It’s too late, Beth. Richard is trying to finish what Daffy started.”

I shook my head, knowing a distance and disconnect between Richard and Daffy had to be established. “No. He’s not. He’s only trying to get me out of here. That’s probably what’s best for everyone. Let us leave, so you can get on with your life here on the island.”

“No one else can know about this place. We let you go, more will come. Or someone will come to destroy it.”

“Beth?!” Richard called from the boat. The shout wasn’t filled with worry. “What are you doing? We’ve got to get going!”

“Give me a minute! Got to bury the lockbox!” I kept my eyes on Sal as I bent down. The rifle followed me to the ground.

“What? Don’t bother with that!”

I prayed at that moment for telepathy. _Get out of here, Richard! While you still can before no one does!_ Sal looked over me towards the pier.

“Beth…” I realized too late that he had gotten off the boat to either reason with or help me. When I turned to warn him, he’d already pulled the gun from his makeshift holster and pointed it at Sal. Eyes glanced from Sal to me and back to Sal. He was assessing the options of which were not many.

“Hasn’t something similar played out only a few days ago between you and I, Richard? I believe I have the upper hand this time.”

His voice was steady. “If you call having a gun pointed at you an upper hand, Sal.”

I noticed movement toward the clearing. “Richard…” He looked at me and tracked my nod to the path. Bugs had emerged, rifle in hand, walking slowly with his target on Richard.

“This little game is coming to an end. Right here. Right now.” I gasped when I felt Sal’s rifle press against the back of my head. I dug my fingers into the dirt to steady myself. Impending death crippled any further thought or action on my part.

“OK! OK!” Richard raised his hands, gun pointed at the sky. Bugs walked behind him and grabbed his gun. He kicked Richard in the back of both knees, making him buckle to the ground in front of me. For the first time, I saw genuine panic in his eyes. He whispered softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s get this over with, Sal. We’ve wasted too much time on this one already.” I knew Bugs was talking about Richard. “Tie him up, first.” His gun volleyed between the both of us. “They aren’t going anywhere.”

I yelped as she pulled me back by Daffy’s bandana wrapped around my neck. The gun forced tighter against my skull. Sal’s tone was wobbly. “Get this off and tie his hands behind his back.” I frantically unknotted the fabric with my shaking fingers. She used the gun to guide me over to Richard like a leash. I crawled over on my knees to his side. “Tight. I want to see his hands turn white.”

Bugs’ foot placed itself on the base of Richard’s neck and forced him into a supine position. He grunted under the force of Bugs’ body weight. I finally broke, seeing him helpless, and began to cry.

“Too late for any of that. You can blame Daffy for all of this, Beth. We should have done this with Daffy. All of this could have been prevented if I had listened to my gut. He should have been taken care of early on. We never should have let him leave.”

“Sal…” My words hitched out between my cries. “Please…”

“Tie him up!” She roared above me.

“It’s OK, Beth.” He placed his hands behind his back for me. He tried to make eye contact. One side of his face was buried deeper in the dirt with Bugs’ foot planted on his head now. “Do what they say.” 

“Shut up!” Bugs screamed. “Do we have one we can stuff in his mouth? I’m tired of hearing this little shit!” I tried to steady my hands, twirling the bandana prior to wrapping it under and over Richard’s wrists. “Turn off that fucking engine, Sal!” He hesitated and spoke again. “Do it! I can’t hear myself think!” I breathed in deeply after the gun was removed from my head. My mouth had dried up. I knotted the bandana and heard the engine shut off. “On the ground.” Bugs nodded to Richard’s feet. “That way. Hands behind you head.”

“It’ll have to do until we can get a replacement.” I listened to Sal talking to Bugs above us when she returned.

“Goddam motherfucker, shooting up our engine!” Bugs was ranting again. I closed my eyes realizing that was the precaution Richard must have taken if they had found me missing earlier than hoped. “I get to do this one. Tie her up!”

“Hold on! I saw her put some more in the pack.” _Was this really how it was going to end? Fragments of our brain and blood pouring out over the dirt?_ Sal was yelling something to Bugs; but, it was far away, now, muted intentionally by my hearing. _Maybe this is how your body makes impending death easier to handle._

Something wouldn’t let me give up trying to connect with and convince them to halt the execution. My face scraped against the dirt to face Bugs. His eyes were narrowed in on the back of Richard’s head. I saw the figure of Sal off to the right, searching. “Bugs…” His head registered my speaking with a slight twitch. “You know there’s another way. You can find a better solution. You’ve always been able to fix other people’s mistake.” He stared at me for a split second as I attempted to stroke his ego. “Help Sal do the right thing.”

My temple was pushed into the dirt again. “Shut up, Beth.” She grabbed one hand and brought it behind my back, practically twisting it out of its socket. I yelled out in pain. “This is the only way to fix it.” I felt the scratchy fabric of the bandana tied around one wrist before she brought the other behind me to join them. I could hear her sigh. “This is the right thing.” I felt her grasp my ankles together and twist another cloth around them as well. Then, as if she was anointing me, a gentle palm was placed on the back of my head. “Do it.”

“No!” I screamed out to drown out the sound of the gun shot. If I heard it, I was sure I would go insane. My eyes fiercely clamped closed as I continued to scream that one word over and over. Suddenly, Sal’s hand was gone from my head. I was next. “Richard!” I screamed out his name in forgiveness.

Other yelling began to overpower my own. It wasn’t in English. It was in Thai. Hands went to my back to untie me. Someone bent down to my ear. “Beth…” It was Richard.

My eyes sprang open. _I’m dead._

“Beth… it’s OK.” He untied my ankles and placed a hand on my back.

I was petrified to move. I didn’t want to see his corpse above me, bleeding out the back of his head where his brain used to be housed.

“You are Elizabeth Foster?” The broken English floated above me. It obviously wasn’t Richard speaking that time.

“I must be dead.” I whispered to myself. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the horror that would be my eternity and rotated on my side to look up. The sun was bright and shone behind the figure that stood above me. “Yes, I am Elizabeth Foster.” 

“You are Daffy’s responsibility?” His hand reached out in assistance. I clasped it. He was pulling me up as I felt a pair around my waist. Every part of me was shaking as I rose.

“What?” When I was at his eye level, things slowly came into clarity. I blinked, pushing away the sun blindness. I could see Bugs and Sal. They weren’t any more than ten feet away from me, on the ground now, guns pointed at both their heads by what looked to be the pot farmers. The man’s hand I was still holding held a tight grip. He yelled at the others holding the guns on Bugs and Sal. In seconds they were dragged up by their necks and told to start walking. I watched, wide-eyed, as they disappeared back into the forest with a parade of four gunmen behind them.

The man examined me. There were deep lines on his forehead. A full mustache twitched over his top lip. “Daffy. You were the one he looked after?” Richard was beside me now, assessing the situation. The man had no gun drawn; but, there were two men flanking him on either side with rifles at the ready, though not pointed directly at us.

“Yes.” I noticed the red-checkered bandana on his head. _One of Daffy’s?_

He looked to Richard. “You both were planning to leave?”

“Yes… yes, sir.” He nodded vehemently.

“And, you are not coming back?” He raised a bushy eyebrow at me.

I shook my head. “No.”

He yelled out in Thai again. One of the men came around behind Richard and began to pat him down. When satisfied, I was next to be searched. “Daffy was good man. Honorable.” He ordered the men in his foreign language. They walked back to the edge of the clearing and stood watch. “He did not want to see the island get used up, like every place else. We made a pact when he first came to the island… to keep out of each other’s way… and protect this place.” Richard and I listened in silence, not really knowing what was going to happen. Strangely, the fear was gone. The fact that he knew Daffy, and thought well of him, had eased any distress that remained. He continued, “Before he left island… he came, asked me to keep an eye on you.” He pointed over his shoulder. “Didn’t trust those two. We spotted them, leaving our area the other day. They stole guns.” He nodded. “I knew… it was time.”

“Thank you.” It was the only thing I could think of to say.

“You thank me by leaving. Never come back. And, never tell anyone of this place.”

I felt Richard’s hand clamp over mine. “Yes. We won’t tell anyone.” He confirmed the directive.

“What about the others?” I thought of Vera and Keaty. “They had nothing to do with what Bugs and Sal…”

He cut me off. “I am sure we can convince them all to go back home.” He smiled in a slightly wicked fashion and then pointed past our shoulders this time, towards the boat. “Time to go.”

“Please don’t hurt them.” I pleaded softly.

“Those two?” He looked to where Bugs and Sal had been carted off.

“I don’t care about them.” He laughed and then let me continue. “Everyone else, back on the beach. Please. Daffy wouldn’t want them hurt.”

I knew he couldn’t promise. But, his slight nod made me feel he would try. “You go now.”

“Come on, Beth.” Richard whispered in my ear and then pulled me to the pier. He was walking with fast purpose. I stood at the edge of the pier. He jumped in the boat. “Please, God.” I saw him close his eyes as he tried the engine. It roared to life and relief flooded his face. He reached his hand to me. “Come on.”

I smiled and grabbed at my lifeline. He held me steady as I stepped. I sat down, looking back at the friend Daffy had made as we drifted farther away from land. Like a statue, his figure rigidly watched our tiny boat leave the island… for good.


	5. Epilogue

My eyes traveled up the trunk of the giant palm.

I heard Ollie spit as he stood beside me. "Bet you ain't never seen one of these before?"

I shook my head and smiled nostalgically. "What's it called?"

"This beauty is called a King Kong." He placed a soiled hand on the bark and massaged it lovingly. The wrinkled hand had more than likely done its fair share of gardening over the past few decades. "She comes all the way from Thailand."

"Wow." I nodded in amazement.

"So, this internin' thing you mentioned..." He looked me up and down and seemed to be chewing nothing in particular in his mouth.

I averted my eyes from his face in case he decided to spit again. "Yes, Mr. Travers..."

"Ollie, hun. Call me Ollie." He pulled a bandana out of his back pocket. The red checkered pattern danced between his fingers as he wiped them off. Daffy flashed through my mind for a brief second. My train of thought lost, I gazed at the fabric dumbfounded. "You alright there, hun? Heat's not gettin' to you, is it? We can go back inside."

I waved a hand in front of my face. "No, I'm fine. Sorry about that." We had been out in the heat for a good twenty minutes after Ollie agreeably gave me a tour of his tropical nursery. I'd gotten the address of _Traver's Trees_ from my professor at UCLA. "I'm currently in school studying botany and it was suggested I visit your nursery. I didn't know if you might need some help here..."

He spit casually by his left foot, "Don't have any more money in the payroll. As it is now, I'm running with a skeleton staff. Only call them in when I need 'em."

"Well, I'd help free of charge. That would be the intern part of it. It's really a chance for me to get some firsthand experience working around plants for my degree."

His neck sprung back. "Free? You like hangin' around plants that much that you'll do it for free, huh?"

I laughed. "That's a much better way of putting it."

The microwave dinged that my dinner was ready. Vera was chewing my ear off over the phone about her new boyfriend.

"Wait, what does he do again?" I opened the door and grabbed the steaming tray of processed sustenance. Thank goodness for the nearby farmers market or I would never eat anything healthy anymore.

She sighed. "He's a farmer."

"Awww. V, that's so cute. You'll be back in a corn field in no time." I grinned. "What does dear old dad have to say about it?"

"I think he's in love with him more than I am - the way they go on about tractors and subsidies. Lucky for me, he's gorgeous... that makes up for everything else."

It had been a few months since we last caught up. A lot changed. I sat in front of the coffee table with my tray. "Have you heard from any one?"

"Nobody new. Keaty sent me a postcard the other day. Some famous cricket location or something. He said to say 'hi to his love.' I figured I should call and check in with you."

"Thanks."

I'd locked the door to my tiny one bedroom apartment and treaded softly down the four flights of stairs. It had been a year and I still didn't want to bring much attention to myself when it came to my neighbors. The only one I spoke to occasionally was Miss Millie. She was a frail little thing that lived on the second floor. Her cat, Monroe, had taken a liking to me and I had to be at least somewhat sociable by association.

The rest in the apartment complex were either loud and nosey or just plain creepy. I decided to stick to the student body when it came to hanging out and being friendly. I ran over the list of things I knew I'd already packed again. The bag was heavy enough over my shoulder to confirm I hadn't missed anything. My car key jangled comfortably on the chain as I brought it to its lock. _Looks like it's going to be a nice day._

Getting out early on the road this Saturday morning had been easy to do. I had hardly slept due to my eagerness. _Two months... too long._ Between work and school, I hadn't come up for air in a while. I'd been given explicit instructions, sent via email, which would hopefully direct me to my destination easily. I glanced at the MapQuest directions I'd printed in the school library. Melanie had been curious, glancing over my shoulder a couple days before in the computer lab. "What's in Long Beach?"

"A friend... and, a promise." I beamed at the map as I answered her.

Downtown Long Beach was a far cry from the beach that I called home a little over a year ago. Yet, here I was, walking down the long pier in the bright sunlight. The forest of boats lined neatly in a row with their masts reaching up to the sky like bare tree trunks.

"Beth!" Eyes squinted down the board planks where my name had been called. I spotted the frantic wave of his hand on what looked to be one of the bigger boats. My steps were quicker upon locating him. I stuffed his email in my bag.

"Hey!" I smiled eagerly when I saw his frame jump off the boat to meet me. His hair was a bit longer since Thailand. Strands whipped around his face in the warm breeze.

"You found it." His hands held my cheeks in that wonderfully intimate way. Wide eyes, that matched the color of the Pacific, searched my face. He kissed me softly.

"You draw a really good map." He frowned at my playful jab. I kissed him in an effort to apologize.

"Are you ready to come aboard?" He took a few steps towards the boat.

"Aye, aye, sir." I saluted him. "I've been looking forward to this."

He hopped in first and extended a hand for me to take. I enthusiastically accepted while he asked, "How's my favorite botanist been?"

"Botanist in training." I corrected him. "And busy. The usual."

"Well for the next two days, you get to be not busy. We'll sail around, catch up..." He grinned and raised his eyebrows, "and, other things."

I ran my fingers through his hair. "I've missed you, Richard. Let's not allow this much time to pass before we see each other again."

He nodded. "OK. But, it's not my fault you are such a hard worker and studious pupil." I felt his lips brush my ear. He whispered. "If you'd let me move in with you, you could see me all the time."

I sighed in enjoyment. "You going to move near UCLA?"

"Maybe. The commute to work might not be that bad."

"We'll talk about it."

"Good." He kissed my cheek. "I love you."

I stared into his eyes. "I love you, too." I nodded behind him. "So, do I get a tour of Dad's yacht?"

"Certainly." He smiled.

"What's she called again?"

" _Temporary Ideal_."


End file.
